Archive for March 8th, 2013

Gales of derisive laughter, Bruce.

Friday, March 8th, 2013

Beyond.com has been sending me emails with “recent opportunities and information”. Here’s a screen shot of one I got yesterday:

scooter

(Click to enbiggen.)

What’s so funny about this? Note the subject line, and the bottom listing. (I cut off the rest, as it wasn’t relevant.)

Note that the Scooter Store was raided by Federal agents on February 20th.

Late Friday afternoon, The Scooter Store’s chief executive notified employees that — effective immediately, but “with certain exceptions” — they’d been placed on unpaid furlough.
In an email, CEO Martin “Marty” Landon told employees not to return to work unless they receive notice from the company’s human resources department.

I wonder if they’re still looking for a sysadmin. (Not that I would apply; I’m not all that interested in working for a company that’s been raided by the Feds. Even if I was, San Antonio/New Braunfels is too far for me to commute.)

Crime of the century!

Friday, March 8th, 2013

Somebody, or a group of somebodies, stole eight – that’s right, eight – school buses from a Chicago area bus yard last night.

The people who stole the buses drove them to a scrapyard, where they were shredded.

“There was a pile of shredded school buses about two-stories high,” one police official said. Some pieces were large enough that police could see the “Sunrise bus logo,” the official said.
Engines and transmissions from the buses had already been cut in half, and the seats tossed in a “big pile of scrap.”

(The linked article includes some photos of the pile of scrap.)

Apparently, the buses were stolen sometime between 7 PM last night (when the yard was closed) and 5 AM this morning (when the theft was discovered). So are scrap yards typically open after 7 PM on a weeknight? And wouldn’t you figure that someone would ask questions when eight school buses were driven in for scrap? Or was there more going on?

When officers arrived, several people who apparently worked in the scrap yard ran into a building, police said. Officers initially apprehended one person and later took two others into custody. The owner was arrested in the afternoon.

(This could also double as important safety tip #18 17:

The buses were all equipped with GPS tracking devices, and police were able to track “their entire movement” to the scrap yard on the West Side, police said.

Don’t steal stuff with GPS tracking devices, or stuff that you might think has GPS tracking devices. Among the things that you might think have GPS tracking devices, if you’re a criminal mastermind:

  • Airplanes.
  • Expensive cars.
  • Government vehicles, including police cars.
  • School buses that carry children.

That’s just a partial list. I’m sure others can think of more examples, but those should suffice for the crackheads in my audience.)

Important safety tips (#15 and #16 in a series)

Friday, March 8th, 2013

Three in one day? I know. But there’s a story in the NYT that offers some instructive lessons.

Chris Huhne was a British political figure. The NYT describes him as “a fast-rising politician with fashionably left-of-center views on social issues and a background in high finance that had yielded a multimillion-dollar fortune“.

He also had a lead foot. He was caught speeding by a roadside camera back in 2003, and he had three previous convictions prior to that. If he had been convicted on the 2003 charge, he would have been banned from driving and fined.

So he got his wife to say she was driving instead.

Safety tip #15: the cover-up is always worse than the crime.

Had he pleaded guilty at the time, he would have faced a $100 fine and been barred from driving for six months to a year; by lying in the case, he ultimately lost his cabinet post, the first politician in British history to be forced from office by a criminal prosecution, as well as his parliamentary seat, and, British pundits say, any prospect of a future political career.

Huhne pled guilty to a charge of “perverting the course of justice”. He hasn’t been sentenced yet, but the judge in his case has indicated Huhne will probably serve time.

Vicky Pryce, Mr. Huhne’s wife at the time, was convicted of the same charge, and will probably serve time as well.

How did things fall apart?

Ms. Pryce stuck with the deceit over the speeding ticket for more than seven years until Mr. Huhne, faced with the imminent exposure of an extramarital affair with one of his political aides by a London tabloid, abruptly walked out of the 25-year marriage.
The court heard that Ms. Pryce learned the news from her husband when he confronted her during a halftime break in a Saturday-afternoon telecast of a World Cup soccer match in 2010, announcing that he needed an immediate separation to save his cabinet post.

Tip #16: if you’re going to ask your wife to cover-up your crime, treat her well. Don’t plan on divorcing her, unless you’re sure the statute of limitations has run out. And I’d check with a lawyer first, just to make sure you haven’t overlooked some crime that you could possibly be charged with.

Be careful out there.

Friday, March 8th, 2013

Sutchi Hui, a 71-year-old San Francisco resident, was walking with his wife through the busy intersection of Castro and Market streets when he was hit by Bucchere in March 2012. He died of his injuries four days later at San Francisco General Hospital.

Chris Bucchere, the man who hit Mr. Hui, is being charged with felony gross vehicular manslaughter.

People get hit by cars every day, and the drivers sometimes face charges, yes? So why am I picking out this case?

Because Mr. Bucchere wasn’t driving a car: he was riding his bicycle when he hit Mr. Hui.

“Court testimony indicated that [Bucchere] was going at least 30 mph and that he ran two red lights and a stop sign prior to going through the intersection where the collision occurred,” said San Francisco Assistant Dist. Atty. Alex Bastian, a spokesman for the prosecutor’s office.

Important safety tip (#14 in a series)

Friday, March 8th, 2013

I don’t care how good looking you are, or how handsome you think you are.

I don’t care how lonely you are after your divorce.

I don’t care how beautiful the bikini model is, or what her cup size is.

Don’t check luggage that belongs to other people.

Because the best thing that can happen to you is that they’ll find the cocaine hidden in the suitcase, and you’ll wind up doing hard time in an Argentinian prison.