MLB teams that have a chance to go 0-162:
None.
There are currently five 1-4 teams (and one 1-3 team) as I write this:
Boston
Minnesota
White Sox
City Unknown Athletics
Colorado
San Diego
Is there any team likely to set a new record this year? Reply hazy, ask again later. I feel like it is too early in the season. But right now, I’m watching Colorado and the White Sox.
MLB teams that have a chance to go 0-162:
Toronto
Tampa Bay
Kansas City
Minnesota
White Sox
City Unknown Athletics
Houston
Texas
Seattle
Miami
Atlanta
Pittsburgh
Cincinnati
Cubs
Colorado
Arizona
San Francisco
San Diego
In other news, the Houston Astros lost to the Los Angeles Angels 3-0 at Daikin Park yesterday. As we all know, that means the Astros won’t be able to sell beer there for the rest of the season…
…because they lost the home opener.
(Thank you. I’ll be here all season. Try the veal and remember to tip your waitress.)
NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:
None.
The Brooklyn Nets were the last team standing. But, sadly, they beat the Pacers last night for their first win.
Both teams are now 1-7, along with the Washington Wizards.
NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:
Indiana Pacers
Brooklyn Nets
New Orleans Pelicans
And today’s bonus firing for you: Scott Woodward fired as athletic director at Louisiana State University.
As you may recall, LSU fired Brian Kelly and owes him $54 million. This has attracted the ire of many, including Louisiana governor Jeff Landry. Gov. Landry went as far as to state that Mr. Woodward wouldn’t be picking the next football coach.
Additional coverage from ESPN.
They don’t call them the Cincinnati Bungles for nothing.
I apologize for being late in getting this up. I had a series of events (the good kind of event, not the bad kind) yesterday that had me out of the house until 7:30 PM. Among those events was driving down to Gruene to meet up with a relative I had not seen in at least 25 years, and maybe closer to 40. While it was fun, it’s also about 90 minutes each way in pretty heavy traffic, so I pretty much got home and went straight to bed.
Anyway, NFL teams that have a chance to go 0-17:
None.
Seriously, Cincinnati? 39-38?
Oh, well. There are still five winless teams in the NBA, and I’ll probably do an update on Friday.
Bonus firing:
Screenshot
Speaking of the war font…story here. ESPN. 34-14 over “four seasons”, but they’ve lost three out the past four games, and got beat 49-25 by Texas A&M on Saturday.
Texas A&M is 8-0. I’m wondering if there’s a chance that we might see a national champion from Texas this year…and it won’t be the one everyone expected at the start of the season.
Edited to add: also out now, LSU offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach Joe Sloan. One story I saw said that the athletic director approached Brian Kelly and told him to fire Sloan. Kelly allegedly said “No, I want to fire these people instead,” and the response was to fire Kelly, then Sloan.
I had to go to the eye doctor this morning for a treatment, so I’m a little late getting this up. Also, my eyes are kind of messed up, so please to forgive any mistakes: if you leave a comment, I’ll fix them.
NHL teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:
None.
The San Jose Sharks won their first game of the season last night, and are now 1-6. This is the same record as the Tampa Bay Lightning. Just sayin’.
One door closes, another door opens.
NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:
Boston Celtics
Detroit Pistons
Miami Heat
Indiana Pacers
Cleveland Cavaliers
Washington Wizards
Brooklyn Nets
Atlanta Hawks
New Orleans Pelicans
Denver Nuggets
Houston Rockets
Portland Trail Blazers
Sacramento Kings
Los Angeles Lakers
LA Clippers
Dallas Mavericks
“What we know about the Billups-Rozier NBA gambling cases” from ESPN.
Bonus quote of the day (well, yesterday, I think):
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-17:
NY Jets
And the Sharks are 0-5 in the NHL.
Next week: the Bengals in Cincinnati. Cincinnati is 3-4, and a slight favorite at the moment.
The worthless Bills had a bye this week. The game with the worthless Chargers is in progress at the moment, and what is up with that alternate uniform?
In other news: Billy Napier out as head coach of the University of Florida. 22-23 overall in “three plus” seasons, and the team is 3-4 this season. ESPN.
Jay Norvell out as head coach at Colorado State. 18-26 overall, the team is 2-5 this season, and lost to Hawai’i yesterday. ESPN.
And a non-firing, non-loser update that I don’t have room for anywhere else: Curry College is a D-III school. They beat Nichols 71-27 yesterday, and rushed for 522 yards.
Oh, wait: did I say the team rushed for 522 yards? I mean one guy, running back Montie Quinn, rushed for 522 yards by himself. 20 carries, seven touchdowns, and a NCAA record.
NHL teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:
San Jose Sharks
So we’re down to the Sharks in the NHL, and the Jets in the NFL.
It’s like “West Side Story” up in here.
NHL teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:
Tampa Bay Lightning
Buffalo Sabres
Detroit Red Wings
New York Islanders
Columbus Blue Jackets
Philadelphia Flyers
Washington Capitals
New Jersey Devils
Chicago Blackhawks
Winnipeg Jets
Utah Mammoth
St. Louis Blues
San Jose Sharks
Edmonton Oilers
Anaheim Ducks
I don’t have much to say right now. It is early in the season, and, to be honest, I don’t know that much about hockey. Any predictions I would make are guaranteed to be wrong.
I think I am going to try to do a loser update for the NHL. (Hattip: Angus McThag.)
However, looking at the NHL schedule, I think I should hold off on doing this until Friday. While the regular season has started (as I understand it) it looks like most of the games are Thursday night.
This might become a regular Friday thing.
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-17:
NY Jets
The worthless Bills lost.
The worthless Chargers lost.
New Orleans won, but they were playing the New York Football Giants, so that wasn’t exactly a titanic achievement.
And Tennessee narrowly defeated the Cardinals.
This leaves the Jets as the last team standing. Their next game is against Denver in London early Sunday morning. Denver is a heavy favorite, but in my opinion there’s never anything certain about London games.
I’ll try to get the loser update up as early as I can on Sunday.
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-17:
NY Jets
Tennessee
New Orleans
The worthless Bills are 4-0.
The New York Football Giants actually beat the worthless Chargers?
And the Packers and Cowboys tied? Not just a tie, but it was also a Scorigami.
In other news, the firings will continue until morale improves. Bruce Bochy out as manager of the Texas Rangers. This is being spun as “by mutual agreement”, but I always wonder how much “mutual” there is in these.
That was over three years: the team was 81-81 this year.
The NFL portion of the loser update has to wait until tomorrow. The 0-3 Jets play the 0-3 Dolphins tonight. I’m sure this will be an exciting game, if you’re a big fan of fiascos.
The major league baseball regular season ended yesterday, though.
It delights me to be able to report that Cleveland clinched their division (AL Central) and Detroit clinched a playoff berth (also in the AL Central). I will be happy if either team goes to the big show.
But I know that’s not what you are wondering about.
The White Sox finshed 60-102, for a .370 winning percentage. That’s bad, but it doesn’t even make Wikipedia’s list for the modern era.
And the Rockies? Well, I was half right. They did get swept by Seattle (who won their division: the AL West).
But they also got swept by San Francisco. I had figured they’d win one game in SF, but they managed to put together a six game losing streak.
Their final record? 43-119, for a .265 winning percentage. So, so close to a record.
As it is, they are fourth on the Wikipedia list for losses (tied with the 2003 Tigers, and ahead of the 1916 Philadelphia Athletics). If you sort by winning percentage, they come in eighth, tied again with the 2003 Tigers and just ahead of the 1952 Pittsburgh Pirates. (For the record, the 2024 White Sox were .253, for fifth place on the list. The modern era record for worst winning percentage is still the 1916 Philadelphia Athletics, at .235 over 153 games.)
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-17:
NY Jets
Miami
Tennessee
Houston
New York Football Giants
New Orleans
The worthless Bills are 3-0.
The worthless Chargers are 3-0.
Houston is 0-3.
And as soon as I suggest that Cleveland might go 0-17, they go out and win a game.
But we still have the Jets and the New York Football Giants.
In other news, we’re coming down to the final stretch of the baseball season. The Chicago Cubs have clinched a playoff spot. (No, Lawrence, I’m not betting on the Cubs with you.)
What of our favorite teams?
The White Sox are 58-98, for a .372 winning percentage. That projects out to about 102 losses.
And the Rockies are 43-113, for a .276 winning percentage. That projects out to about 117 losses, which is in the historical range. But at this point, they can’t tie the 2024 White Sox record, or even the previous 1962 Mets record of 120 losses. Wikipedia currently puts them between the 1952 Pirates (.273) and the 1909 Senators (.276).
Their final games are in Seattle (who hasn’t quite clinched a playoff sport, but is very close) and in San Francisco (who hasn’t quite been mathematically eliminated, but is very close). If I had to guess, I’d say they’ll get swept by Seattle and win one in San Francisco, for a final record of 44-118. We’ll see if I’m right.
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-17:
Kansas City
NY Jets
Miami
Cleveland
Tennessee
Houston
New York Football Giants
da Bears
New Orleans
Carolina
The worthless Chargers are 2-0.
The worthless Bills are 2-0.
Houston is 0-2.
I think it is time to start panicking.
More seriously, who do I think has a shot at the Owen 17 record? I can see Cleveland finishing 0-17. There’s historical precedent for that.
But something makes me think that one of the New York teams is more likely to finish out the season with no wins. I don’t know what is making me think that, and I could be wrong, but right now that’s the way I would bet.
In other news:
The Chicago White Sox are at 57-94, for a .377 winning percentage. That projects out to about 101 losses. And since my last update, they have been mathematically eliminated (the best kind of eliminated) from post-season play.
And the Colorado Rockies are at 41-109, for a .273 winning percentage. Right now, that projects out to about 118 losses. At this point, they can’t break the record set by the 2024 White Sox, but they can still tie it.
Also mathematically eliminated: the Pirates, the Nationals, the Angels, and the Twins. And the Tigers are at the top of their division, though they haven’t clinched yet. I’m hoping pigpen51 is happy.