Archive for the ‘Loser’ Category

Your loser update: week 17, 2017.

Sunday, December 31st, 2017

Honorable readers:

As of 3:06 PM Central on December 31st, 2017, the Cleveland Browns became the third team in the modern NFL era to go an entire season without winning a game, and the second to finish an entire season 0-16.

Only the 2008 Detroit Lions match Cleveland’s record for futility: the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers finished their first season 0-14.

In other news, the New York Football Giants actually won their game, improving to 3-13. This may be good enough for second place in the draft: the Colts beat Houston and finished 4-12.

More later, maybe. There will be a ceremonial toast drunk tonight.

Edited to add: Yep. Looks like it’s going to be Browns-Giants for sure. I think the third and subsequent positions are still up in the air until the late games are over.

ETA2: coverage.

ETA3: Per, it’s going to be:
Browns again (traded with Houston for this pick)

I expect Bloody Monday to be interesting. If there are any “Damn, you didn’t even wait to get him in the house” firings tonight, I’ll try to update.

Loser watch.

Wednesday, December 27th, 2017

Two articles from ESPN that amused me:

The worst teams in NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL history“. I quibble with their NBA team choice, but the rest of the picks seem sound.

The worst NFL teams ever for all 32 franchises“. The picks for Detroit and Tampa Bay are logical. But were the 1990 Browns worse than the 2016 Browns?

Your loser update: week 16, 2017.

Sunday, December 24th, 2017

da Bears won! da Bears won!

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:


With the defeat, the Browns became the first team in NFL history to have multiple 15-loss seasons, according to ESPN Stats & Information. The Browns, who are 0-15 this season, finished 1-15 last season.
Coach Hue Jackson has been coach for both seasons and is 1-30 in his two years leading Cleveland. Browns owner Jimmy Haslam already has stated that Jackson will return in 2018.

And in other news:

UCLA quarterback Josh Rosen would prefer to play for the Giants over the Browns and would be hesitant to declare for next year’s NFL draft if he knew that Cleveland was going to take him with the No. 1 overall pick, according to league sources familiar with the situation.

Gee, where I have heard something very much like this before…? ‘Tis a mystery.

As I’ve noted a couple times before, the Browns last game of the season is in Pittsburgh. Anything can happen, of course, and depending on playoff position the Steelers may want to rest their starters, but I don’t see Cleveland coming out with a win unless things go totally off the rails.

Your loser update: week 15, 2017.

Monday, December 18th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:


This isn’t working out too too badly. The Browns lost. The New York Football Giants lost again, and sit at 2-12. San Francisco won, and is now 4-10.

Cleveland’s next game is on the road at Chicago. da Bears are also 4-10: I’m concerned about this game, but Chicago will be playing at home, with an extra day of rest (they played Saturday) and has something to play for. Even a moral victory is still a victory.

And let us not forget the Colts, who are at 3-11, but don’t play Cleveland or New York or SF the rest of this season, so who cares? (Their last two games are Baltimore on the road and Houston at home.)

In “not exactly a firing, but…” news: Jerry Richardson is selling the Carolina Panthers.

“Why?” you may ask.

The announcement came just hours after a Sports Illustrated report outlined allegations of sexual and racial misconduct by Richardson toward former Panthers employees.
The team announced an investigation into the alleged misconduct on Friday evening. The NFL said Sunday that it would take over the investigation.

This is still a developing story. Does Richardson selling the team cut off the NFL investigation? Could the Panthers move if they were sold? If so, where? And should I ask for a Magic 8-Ball for Christmas?

Your loser update: week 14, 2017.

Sunday, December 10th, 2017

On the road, more later, but:

Hundley, you magnificent bastard, I READ YOUR BOOK!

NFL teams that still have a chance of going 0-16:


Edited to add 12/11: Man, that was a squeaker, wasn’t it?

I was actually in the middle of a Bass Pro Shop in San Antonio with Mike the Musicologist and RoadRich when I pulled out my phone to check the game status…and saw Green Bay was down by 7 points with 47 seconds left to go.

“Oh, heck,” I say. Then I look at the game details and see that Green Bay is in scoring position…and get a little happier. By the time we’ve checked out and left, the game is in overtime and I’m watching the updates on the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network’s webpage as we head down the freeway to our next stop…

…so that was my Sunday. How was yours?

San Francisco won, and is now 3-10. I’ll have more to say about that in a minute. The New York Football Giants lost, and are now 2-11 and nicely positioned for a good draft pick. Might I suggest Baker Mayfield?

And Cleveland’s next three games are:
* Baltimore in Cleveland, which I think is a win.
* Chicago in Chicago, which worries me: as I’ve said, da Bears are da Bad. But they did beat Cincinnati, which is more than can be said for the Browns, and they will be playing at home.
* Pittsburgh in Pittsburgh. I think this is also a win unless Pittsburgh has everything locked up at this point, and decides to play their second and third teams.

ETA2: Oh, yeah. About that SF game. What the hell, Houston?

Your loser update: week 13, 2017.

Monday, December 4th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:


I said last week that this was the game I was most worried about. As much as I hate the Chargers (and I do hate the Chargers) I’m glad they pulled out the win here.

The final four games are:
Packers in Cleveland.
Ravens in Cleveland.
Bears in Chicago.
Steelers in Pittsburgh.

Of those, I figure the Steelers and Ravens are near locks. The Packers: who knows? It looks like Rodgers won’t be playing until the week after this one, but they are 6-6 and beat Tampa Bay (granted, in overtime).

And the Bears are…bad. They just lost to San Francisco, for crying out loud (granted it was a close loss). But they will be playing at home.

Speaking of bad teams, San Francisco won…and the New York Football Giants lost, putting both teams at 2-10 and in line for second worst record this season (and the draft pick that comes with it). However, Indianapolis, Denver, and Chicago are all within striking distance.

And we may have a firing later today. Watch this space for updates.

Your loser update (plus bonus firings): week 12, 2017.

Sunday, November 26th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:


I remain cautiously optimistic. The Browns play the woeful Chargers next Sunday, and the Chargers are the team that ruined Cleveland’s shot at a perfect season last year. But: the Browns are playing in LA, those Chargers are 5-6, and they just beat Dallas at home (on Thanksgiving, yet, so those Chargers will have a few extra days to get ready and healthy).

Firings watch: in a move that was speculated on before Thanksgiving, Texas A&M fired Kevin Sumlin. He was 51-26 over six seasons, and the team is 7-5 (4-4 in conference).

Sumlin was 16-20 where it counts most – in the SEC West – and the A&M program will go more than three years without a division win at home, headed into next season. The Aggies last won at home against an SEC West opponent in October 2015, and won’t play host to another division foe until November 2018.

As one of the articles I read put it: they were paying Sumlin %5 million a year, and just finished renovations to Kyle Field. They want and expect better than 7-5.

“Our expectations at A&M are very high,” A&M athletic director Scott Woodward said. “We believe that we should compete for SEC championships on an annual basis and, at times, national championships. I believe that we need a new coach to take us there.”

And Todd Graham, also 7-5 this season (and 6-3 in conference) is out at Arizona State, also after six seasons.

As much as I dislike linking ESPN, here’s a handy chart of coach firings for you.

Your loser update (plus bonus firings): week 11, 2017.

Monday, November 20th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:


San Francisco had a bye this week, so they remain at 1-9. And shockingly, the New York Football Giants actually won another game. (Against Kansas City, in overtime, 12-9. That must have been another titanic offensive struggle.)

I think that’s going to mess up their shot at a high first-round draft choice. Sorry, Infidel.

Firings: Jim Mora fired as head coach at UCLA. After six seasons. On his birthday. “Happy birthday. Here’s your present: it’s a pink slip.”

But don’t cry too hard:

UCLA announced it would honor the terms of Mora’s contract, which included four more seasons and a buyout of roughly $12 million, using exclusively athletic department-generated funds. That money, secured in part from lucrative television deals and the recent mega-apparel contract with Under Armour, will preclude boosters from having to write a large check.

Mora compiled a 46-30 record at UCLA, including four bowl appearances, a Pac-12 South Division title in 2012 and 10-win seasons in 2013 and 2014. But his teams have gone 10-17 since late in the 2015 season.

Marcus Satterfield out at Tennessee Tech. 6-16 over two seasons.

Edited to add: This seems to be official now: Denver fired offensive coordinator Mike McCoy. The team is 3-7 and has lost six games in a row.

Your loser update: week 10, 2017.

Monday, November 13th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:


I’m somewhat conflicted over this.

On the one hand, I’m disappointed that we don’t have two teams contending for the Owen-16 trophy.

On the other hand, I still think the Browns have a good chance of losing out. (The next game that I think they’re in real danger of winning is December 3rd against the Chargers.)

On the gripping hand, we could have a situation where there are three 1-15 teams contending for high first round draft picks: the New York Football Giants, the 49ers, and the Browns. I’m not sure how the NFL determines precedence in this situation, but friend of the blog Infidel should be happy that there’s at least a chance…

Your loser update: week 9, 2017.

Monday, November 6th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland (bye week)
San Francisco

Next week, San Francisco plays the New York Football Giants at home. The Browns play at Detroit.

Your loser update: week 8, 2017.

Sunday, October 29th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

San Francisco

NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:


Bonus firings content:

Jim McElwain out at Florida, in what appears to be a “mutually agreed” departure. Terms are supposedly still being negotiated.

Early last week, McElwain claimed that his family and players were receiving death threats. Reports are that the university spent the week looking into those claims and was unable to substantiate them: it was widely reported yesterday that the school was looking to fire McElwain “for cause” over this.

Tony Perez and Andre Dawson have also left the Miami Marlins. Much like Jeff “Mr. Marlin” Conine, this appears to be the new ownership cleaning house.

Perez and Dawson met with Jeter a little more than a week ago, when he told them of plans for their decreased responsibilities and an expected decrease in pay — though apparently Jeter didn’t say how decreased in the meeting. After word came back that their salaries were now to be $25,000, which under different circumstances might qualify someone for food stamps, Perez and Dawson questioned how badly they were wanted. There was some discussion about what they’d be allowed to do now, and while they still would be allowed to walk through the clubhouse, apparently they were no longer to dress in there.

Your loser update: week 7, 2017.

Monday, October 23rd, 2017

Apologies for this being later than usual, but I was waiting for a couple of things to come together.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

San Francisco

How about that titanic battle of the Browns/Titans offenses, eh? I was actually a little worried there.

And the NBA regular season has fired up, so you know what that means:

NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:

New York Knicks

And it is pretty early in the season, but we already have our first firing: Earl Watson out as coach in Phoenix.

The Suns started the season 0-3 and suffered their worst loss in franchise history, losing by 48 points to the Portland Trail Blazers, in the season opener. They allowed 132 points to the Los Angeles Lakers in a two-point loss on Friday and then were blown out by the Los Angeles Clippers 130-88 on Saturday.

He was 33-85 over “two plus” seasons.