Whipped Cream Difficulties

Misty Roberts, the former mayor of DeRidder, Louisiana: guilty of “carnal knowledge of a juvenile and indecent behavior with a juvenile”.

(Previously on WCD.)

Both Bugs and Daffy are wrong. It is forgery season! And what was that about “Forgery is uncommon among the hyenas“?

Sonya Jaquez Lewis was convicted yesterday.

A jury found former [Colorado] state Sen. Sonya Jaquez Lewis, a Boulder County Democrat, guilty of four counts — one count of attempting to influence a public servant and three counts of forgery.

Apparently, Colorado has a crime called “attempting to influence a public servant”? I was under the impression that “attempting to influence a public servant”, especially an elected official, falls under the heading of “democracy”. “Forgery”, on the other hand…

Attempting to influence a public servant is the most serious charge Jaquez Lewis was convicted of. It’s a Class 4 felony, punishable by up to six years in prison and a $500,000 fine. Forgery is also a felony, though it’s a lower-level offense and carries a maximum penalty of three years in prison per count.

The former senator got crosswise with the state senate’s Ethics Committee last year. She was accused of “mistreating” some of her aides.

She stepped down when the committee announced that Jaquez Lewis had submitted at least one fabricated letter of support, purported to be from a former aide, to the panel. The aide whose name was on the letter told legislative investigators that she didn’t write it and that she had not been in touch with Jaquez Lewis for roughly a year before the missive was sent.
When confronted, Jaquez Lewis told legislative investigators that she was relaying information she had gathered from conversations with the former aide in years past. The letter, however, appeared on letterhead with the aide’s name on it and was written in the first person.
Prosecutors found that Jaquez Lewis had actually written multiple letters purporting to be from former aides.
During a three-day trial this week, Jaquez Lewis admitted to writing the letters of support. But she denied that they were fabrications, saying they were based either on information that was relayed to her previously and, in one instance, that she misattributed a letter to the wrong former aide.

More from the Denver Post:

Her Senate colleagues convened the ethics committee in January 2025 to investigate a litany of accusations that Jaquez Lewis tried to withhold pay from one aide and used others to perform work around her house. If found to violate Senate rules, Jaquez Lewis could have faced an expulsion vote.

Yeah, don’t mess with people’s pay.

Her attorney, Craig Lewis Truman, emphasized the stress that Jaquez Lewis felt in the Capitol, compounded by an ethics committee that Jaquez Lewis felt was biased against her.
“Do you think she would put it all on the line for a letter to these kangaroo courts? Or was it because she was under the gun?” Truman said to jurors before their deliberations began.

Just leaving this here:

And keeping with our theme for the day:

Separately, Jaquez Lewis last year agreed to pay nearly $3,000 to the Colorado Secretary of State’s Office to settle allegations that she violated campaign finance laws. She admitted to failing to report campaign spending on several occasions. She also admitted to using campaign funds to hire a staffer to campaign on behalf of another candidate, which is prohibited.

And, because Lawrence’s happiness is one of the fifteen to thirty-five most important things to me: the Colorado Sun mentions her party affiliation in the subhead and the second paragraph. The Denver Post waits until the third paragraph.

The state supposedly plans to ask for probation. Hattip to Mike the Musicologist again.

It has been a minute since we had one of these, but this one is swell. Hattip to Mike the Musicologist on it.

Ayshia “Ajay” Pittman pled guilty to felony charges yesterday, and resigned from the Oklahoma House of Representatives. This moved fairly quickly: as I understand the story, her plea and resignation came just “hours” after she was charged.

She was charged with three felonies: conspiracy to commit a felony, second-degree forgery, and “violation of the Oklahoma Computer Crimes Act”. (Trena Byas, an executive assistant, was also charged. As far as I can tell, she has not taken a plea.)

What exactly did she do? Well, she forged a cashier’s check.

Forgery is uncommon among the hyenas, so this would be noteworthy by itself. But that’s not the best part. She forged a cashier’s check…

…and sent it to the Oklahoma Ethics Commission.

The background for this is that former rep Pittman has a problem with campaign funds. Specifically, she has a problem with diverting campaign funds for personal use.

The Ethics Commission reached a settlement in 2024 with Pittman over her misuse of campaign funds. Under the 2024 settlement, she was required to reimburse her campaign $17,858 and pay a $17,141 civil penalty to the state.

The Ethics Commission wanted to see proof she was making payments.

Pittman said on a campaign report she had repaid her campaign account $2,500 on Jan. 27, 2025. The investigation found the Jan. 27, 2025, deposit was actually a $2,500 donation from the Osage Nation.

…

According to the filing, Byas — an Executive Assistant in the Oklahoma State Senate and owner of GraphixByUs, Inc. — allegedly received instructions from Pittman to alter an image of a check. Investigators say Byas used a computer to modify the document before sending it back electronically. Records also note that Byas previously worked as an assistant finance manager for Pittman’s mother.

…

Search warrant affidavits from October 2025 outline an alleged scheme in which Pittman provided the Ethics Commission with a fraudulent $2,500 cashier’s check, dated January 27, 2025, from Sovereign Bank, as proof she was making payments toward a $35,000 restitution agreement. Investigators later confirmed Sovereign Bank never issued the check.

Ms. Pittman agreed to a seven year probated sentence, with deferred adjudication. So if she keeps out of trouble, the charges won’t go on her record.

Her resignation was part of her plea deal.
While on probation, she cannot seek state office, cannot work in state government and cannot work for a government contractor. She must make restitution for misuse of campaign funds, with the money going to charity.
Under a separate settlement with the Ethics Commission, she agreed not to run for any state office, city office, county office, school board office “or any other elected position” in Oklahoma for 15 years.

…

Under her new settlement with the Ethics Commission, she must pay what was still owed her campaign − $7,858 − to a non-profit organization. She also still must pay the $17,141 civil penalty.

From my family to yours, wishing you a Merry Christmas and a joyful, safe holiday season. 🎄#SCM #FL20 pic.twitter.com/rO7VVjCggA

— Congresswoman Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick (@CongresswomanSC) December 25, 2025

(Previously on WCD.)

Remember Marty Small, Sr., the mayor of Atlantic City? Charged with beating the s–t out of his teenage daughter?

Merry Christmas! Not guilty on all counts!

Mr. Small was accused of using a broom to strike his daughter in the head, causing her to lose consciousness. At other times in the two-month period, he hit her in the legs repeatedly, causing bruising, and threatened to “earth slam” her, prosecutors said.
“We’re not saying there shouldn’t be disagreements in the home,” a prosecutor, Elizabeth Fischer, told jurors Tuesday in a closing statement, “but we’re saying it shouldn’t be met with violence.”
The jury began deliberating late Tuesday. Almost immediately, the panel requested to listen again to a recording, made by Mr. Small’s daughter and her boyfriend, in which the mayor can be heard threatening to slam her to the ground.
Prosecutors had said that the threats were meant to instill terror; Mr. Small’s lawyers argued that they were the warnings of a parent trying to correct the behavior of a child who, in a video also shown to jurors, was prone to extreme agitation when punished.
“A father takes a phone away from his daughter, and that results in the Tasmanian devil coming out,” Mr. Small’s lawyer, Louis M. Barbone, told jurors after replaying footage taken during a separate family conflict.
In New Jersey, corporal punishment that is not considered excessive is legal.

The charges against his wife are still pending.

President Donald Trump pardoned Texas Democratic Rep. Henry Cuellar and his wife in a federal bribery and conspiracy case on Wednesday, citing what he called a “weaponized” justice system.

Previously on WCD.

Federal authorities had charged Cuellar and his wife with accepting thousands of dollars in exchange for the congressman advancing the interests of an Azerbaijan-controlled energy company and a bank in Mexico. Cuellar is accused of agreeing to influence legislation favorable to Azerbaijan and deliver a pro-Azerbaijan speech on the floor of the U.S. House.

There’s been a major shakeup at a Houston-based hospitality company…

“hospitality company”. RCI Hospitality Holdings owns various businesses, including Bombshells Restaurant & Bar, Rick’s Cabaret, Chicas Locas, and Club Onyx.

Two weeks ago, the company announced a “strategic partnership” with Jonathan Joseph, owner of Yellow Rose Cabaret and Red Rose Nightclub in Austin. Joseph acquired a 49 percent interest in Rick’s Cabaret Austin for $1.8 million as part of the partnership.

Anyway:

RCI Hospitality Holdings Inc. announced Friday that Eric Langan and Bradley Chhay have stepped down as president and CEO and CFO, respectively.

The HouChron says it is “unclear” why they stepped down, but suggests it might be related to their criminal indictments for bribing a tax auditor.

And if that rings a bell with you now, yes, I covered this back in September. Remember “dance dollars”?

…accused of supplying a former New York Department of Taxation and Finance auditor with “at least 13 complimentary multi-day trips to Florida where he was given up to $5,000 per day for private dances at RCI-owned strip clubs, including Tootsie’s Cabaret in Miami,” plus other forms of alleged favorable treatment over a 14-year period.

Still no evidence of cocaine being involved in this case, though, alas.

Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick is a Democratic congresswoman from Florida.

Ms. Cherfilus-McCormick was indicted yesterday.

This time around, it isn’t mortgage fraud.

The allegations, announced by the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of Florida, are related to the family healthcare company where Cherfilus-McCormick and her brother worked in 2021. According to the Department of Justice, their company received a $5 million overpayment of federal covid relief funds.
Prosecutors allege that a “substantial portion of the misappropriated funds” were then redirected back to Cherfilus-McCormick’s congressional campaign through straw donors and by passing the money through family and friends. “Using disaster relief funds for self-enrichment is a particularly selfish, cynical crime,” Attorney General Pam Bondi wrote in a statement announcing the indictment.

Also charged: her brother Edwin Cherfilus, Nadege Leblanc, and Ms. Cherfilus-McCormick’s tax preparer David Spencer.

More coverage from the NYT.