Whipped Cream Difficulties

Continuing our intermittent series of Crime Stoppers updates, someone has stolen thirteen Japanese koi from a pond at the Zilker Botanical Garden.

This does not appear to be a lark, or a crime of opportunity by a crack head or some equivalent; the koi are pretty large fish which would be tough to handle alone, and each one needs at least 10 gallons of water for transport (that is, if you want living fish at the end of it). From what the Statesman says, I gather that the koi does not make for good sushi.

I don’t have a good explanation for the fact that the theft apparently took place two weeks ago, and we’re only now finding out about it.

Lawrence speculated to me that perhaps the koi were stolen for someone who is (or was) planning a Polynesian dinner for the masses. In other words, he thinks the motive was hoi polloi koi poi. (Yes, I’m aware that poi is not made from fish, but from the taro plant. You try telling Lawrence that.)

Anyway, be on the lookout for people selling koi on street corners. Remember; if it doesn’t look legit, it probably isn’t. Ask for papers.

…to get kicked out of the anti-whaling groups?

Sea Shepherd recently said it expelled Bethune because he violated its policy against carrying weapons. The group said he had a bow and arrows with him while he was aboard the Ady Gil, although he never used them.

Bonus:

The assault conviction was for throwing bottles of rancid butter at the whalers aboard their ship, including one that broke and gave several Japanese crew members chemical burns.

You can get chemical burns from rancid butter?

Irving Davis is appealing his death sentence again.

Mr. Davis was convicted in 2007 of killing a 15-year old girl and sentenced to death. However, that sentence was thrown out, and Mr. Davis got a new sentencing hearing. He’s upset because, during that hearing, the prosecution brought up his religion. Mr. Davis feels that this unfairly infringes on his right to freely exercise his religion, as well as prejudicing the jurors against him. The prosecution argues that it was okay to introduce this evidence in order to refute claims by the defense that Mr. Davis was “nothing but a pacifist” while on Death Row; and anyway, if it’s appropriate to introduce affiliations with violent gangs, why isn’t it appropriate to introduce religious affiliations? Especially if the religion in question “condones and encourages human sacrifice and other illegal acts.”

Oh, by the way, the particular religion Mr. Davis has chosen to practice is Satanism.

Jurors were shown, over defense objections, Davis’ drawings depicting satanic symbols, books removed from his cell that included “The Satanic Bible” and a pentagram tattoo on his chest. Prosecutors also introduced a grievance form that showed Davis complaining about being denied a gong, candles, chalice, black robes, a vial of blood and other items he said were needed to practice his religion.

What, no goat?

We previously mentioned the sentencing retrial of Laura Hall. Ms. Hall, as you may recall, was convicted of evidence tampering and hindering apprehension for allegedly helping her convicted murderer boyfriend, Colton Pitonyak, cut up his victim’s body and flee to Mexico. Ms. Hall was previously sentenced to a five year bit, but the sentence was overturned on appeal.

During the course of the trial, the prosecution played some interesting tapes of Ms. Hall’s phone calls from jail, in which she badmouthed the victim, the victim’s mother, the jury that convicted her, and pretty much everyone else she could think of, without ever showing any remorse.

Ms. Hall’s sentencing retrial concluded on Friday. That five year sentence? Now it is a ten-year sentence, the maximum possible for the crimes Ms. Hall was convicted of.

Someone’s going down, honey-bunch, but it isn’t Jennifer Cave’s mother.