Damn it all to Hell and Hong Kong.

December 29th, 2017

The NYT is reporting the death of Sue Grafton, author of the Kinsey Millhone “alphabet” mysteries, at the age of 77.

The paper of record does not have a full obit up yet: I will try to post a follow-up when I can.

Obit watch: December 29, 2017.

December 29th, 2017

Rose Marie.

Originally known as Baby Rose Marie, she is probably best remembered for her “Dick Van Dyke Show” role as Sally Rogers, one of three comedy writers — the others were Rob Petrie (Mr. Van Dyke) and Buddy Sorrell (Morey Amsterdam) — who worked for the fictional series-within-a-series, “The Alan Brady Show.”

I’m too young to remember the “Dick Van Dyke Show” (and oddly, never caught it in reruns).

Sally was witty, wisecracking and independent-minded, but she was also perpetually on the hunt for a husband; though tough as nails, she was not immune to romantic misadventures. Her main significance, though, was that she worked as a comedy writer, a rarity for women at the time. (One inspiration for the role was said to be Selma Diamond, who had written for Sid Caesar in the 1950s.)

Yeah, that Selma Diamond. I did not know this.

She was also seen frequently — from the first episode, in 1966, to the last, in 1980 — on the original version of “Hollywood Squares,” the game show on which celebrities answered questions (and made jokes) to help contestants score X’s or O’s on a giant tick-tack-toe board. There, with her trademark bow in her hair, she flaunted the persona she had perfected: a feisty, witty, outspoken spinster (although she was actually a widow) who refused to grow old without a fight.

This is where I remember her from. And here’s a neat piece of trivia:

In this first phase of her career, she performed with Rudy Vallee, Benny Goodman and Milton Berle, among many others. She had at least one famous friend outside show business as well: Through her father she met Al Capone, who took an interest in her career, often driving her to and from shows. She referred to him as “Uncle Al” in her memoir and quoted him saying, “If you ever need me for anything, tell your father to call me.”

TMQ Watch: December 26, 2017.

December 27th, 2017

Because this year’s schedule meant football on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, TMQ didn’t watch any.

We’re still unclear on why this was the case. Especially on Christmas Day: the first game started at 3:30 PM Central, and was over with enough time left to watch the good “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and promptly flip over to the second game before the bad “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” came on. (Really, whose bright idea was it to show the vastly superior animated special before the feature length movie that should never have been made?)

But how can you miss me when I won’t go away?

So. Many. Possible. Punch. Lines.

My holiday gift to readers is a column-length expansion of Tuesday Morning Quarterback’s A Cosmic Thought item.

Can we return this and get something actually useful? Like socks?

After the jump, this week’s substitute for a TMQ

Read the rest of this entry »

Loser watch.

December 27th, 2017

Two articles from ESPN that amused me:

The worst teams in NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL history“. I quibble with their NBA team choice, but the rest of the picks seem sound.

The worst NFL teams ever for all 32 franchises“. The picks for Detroit and Tampa Bay are logical. But were the 1990 Browns worse than the 2016 Browns?

De minimis non curat lex.

December 26th, 2017

However, this sounds like an excellent case for small clams court.

This gives a new meaning…

December 25th, 2017

…to a “white elephant” gift exchange:

A man was shot overnight on Christmas by what police say may have been a stray bullet while gathering with family for a gift exchange at a home in southwest Houston.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

December 25th, 2017

I’m having a hard time finding versions of this song on YouTube that I like. I might have to resort to something different next year.

But this year, you’re getting a twofer.

I like this video enough to post it. My quibble is that this is entirely instrumental, and I feel like this song needs vocals.

So I’ll throw this one in as a bone to all my prog-rock friends out there:

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas… (part V)

December 24th, 2017

One more, I think, before Christmas. This is another military Christmas story, but does not involve General Mattis at all. It’s been widely retweeted by a whole bunch of folks, but if you haven’t already seen it:

Start there and follow the thread. Also for what it’s worth: I put this in the “funny” rather than “touching” category.

Your loser update: week 16, 2017.

December 24th, 2017

da Bears won! da Bears won!

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

With the defeat, the Browns became the first team in NFL history to have multiple 15-loss seasons, according to ESPN Stats & Information. The Browns, who are 0-15 this season, finished 1-15 last season.
Coach Hue Jackson has been coach for both seasons and is 1-30 in his two years leading Cleveland. Browns owner Jimmy Haslam already has stated that Jackson will return in 2018.

And in other news:

UCLA quarterback Josh Rosen would prefer to play for the Giants over the Browns and would be hesitant to declare for next year’s NFL draft if he knew that Cleveland was going to take him with the No. 1 overall pick, according to league sources familiar with the situation.

Gee, where I have heard something very much like this before…? ‘Tis a mystery.

As I’ve noted a couple times before, the Browns last game of the season is in Pittsburgh. Anything can happen, of course, and depending on playoff position the Steelers may want to rest their starters, but I don’t see Cleveland coming out with a win unless things go totally off the rails.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas… (part IV)

December 23rd, 2017

Well, I got an early Christmas present this year. And it sits at the odd intersection of musical theater, law, politics, Christmas…and Rhode Island.

The folks at the Crimetown podcast did a partial reconstruction of “Buddy Cianci: The Musical”.

“There was this whole bunch of possibility. You could write a musical about pee and then you’d be on Broadway. We thought, you know what’s better than pee…is Buddy Cianci.”

—Jonathan Van Gieson

The musical had seven performances at the New York Fringe Festival in 2003. It has not been performed since, and there was no original cast recording.

This made me tear up a little: Jacksonville Jaguars fans decided to send trash cans to Houston Texans defensive end Jadeveon Clowney after he called their quarterback “trash”.

Jadeveon Clowney’s response? Fill the trash cans and a van full of toys and give them to needy children. Like Lawrence, I’m still mostly checked out of the NFL, but this is a good story.

Urgent security news!

December 22nd, 2017

The iPhone X’s FaceID can be bypassed using “specially prepared printouts of photographs”! Gott in Himmel! Doesn’t this make the feature useless?

Oh, wait. Did I say “iPhone X FaceID”? I’m sorry. I meant “Windows Hello facial recognition”. My bad.

Quickies from the legal beat.

December 22nd, 2017

Some serious, some less so.

Stop! Hammer time!

Former Michigan state trooper charged with second degree murder in the death of a 15-year-old boy. He was a passenger in another trooper’s vehicle: they chased after the kid, who was driving an ATV, and the trooper fired a Taser out the window.

Struck and disabled by the Taser while traveling at up to 40 mph, Grimes lost control, struck a pickup and died.

(Hattip: Morlock Publishing on the Twitter. The Powers of the Earth is available in a Kindle edition, and would probably make a swell gift for the SF fan in your life. I already own a copy, but haven’t read it yet.)

Grandma got stopped by a state trooper,
Driving to Vermont for Christmas Eve.
People say “It’s just weed,”
But the state says “60 lbs is a felony.”

(Those lyrics probably need some work.)

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas… (part III)

December 22nd, 2017

Apropos of nothing in particular (no, really): the complete original Dragnet episode “The Big Little Jesus” is available on YouTube.

Obit watch: December 22, 2017.

December 22nd, 2017

Legendary sportscaster Dick Enberg.

WP obit for Clifford Irving.

Jerry Yellin. Mr. Yellin and his wingman, Philip Schlamberg, flew what turned out to be the last combat mission over Japan on August 15, 1945. Mr. Schlamberg never came back.

Obit watch: December 21, 2017.

December 21st, 2017

Clifford Irving passed away on Tuesday.

Mr. Irving, for the younger set, was a somewhat prominent author and journalist in the 1960s and 1970s. Among his works is FAKE! The Story of Elmyr de Hory, the Greatest Art Forger of Our Time. I’ve actually been interested in reading that: nice to know there’s a cheap Kindle edition and I don’t have to seek out the hardcover.

But sometime in 1970, Mr. Irving came up with the idea that made him infamous: an autobiography of Howard Hughes. It didn’t make any difference that Hughes was extremely reclusive and didn’t talk to journalists.

After studying a Hughes letter reproduced in the Newsweek article, Mr. Irving forged letters from Hughes to back up the story. He began calling his publisher from exotic locations where, he claimed, he was meeting with Hughes and developing a close relationship. He was betting that Hughes hated the limelight so much that he would never step forward to debunk anything written about him.

He got $750,000 for the book, $400,000 for the paperback rights, and $250,000 for serial rights.

And he was wrong.

At the end of 1971, with McGraw-Hill and Life ready to go to press, the scheme began to unravel. Mr. Hughes went public and denied knowing Mr. Irving, first through a representative and later in a conference call with seven journalists based in Los Angeles.
Swiss banking investigators soon discovered that a Zurich bank account belonging to “H. R. Hughes” had been opened by Mr. Irving’s wife, Edith Irving, a German-born Swiss citizen, using a forged passport with the name Helga R. Hughes.
As the evidence piled up, the house of cards collapsed. In March 1972, the Irvings pleaded guilty to conspiracy in federal court. In state court, along with Mr. Irving’s research assistant, Richard Suskind, they pleaded guilty to conspiracy and grand larceny. Mr. Irving was given a prison sentence of two and a half years and served 17 months. Mr. Suskind received a sentence of six months, of which he served five.

Mr. Irving went on to write some novels and true crime books.

Orson Welles drew on “Fake!” and on the Hughes hoax when making his 1974 film, “F for Fake,” in which Mr. Irving plays a prominent role.

You can get “F for Fake” in a Criterion edition: I’ve seen it and recommend it.

You can also get The Hoax, Mr. Irving’s account of the affair, and Autobiography Of Howard Hughes: Confessions of an Unhappy Billionaire, the actual book, through Amazon as Kindle books.