And on a related note.

October 1st, 2012

Since we’re into October, I wonder if it is time to start rounding up candidates for the Dumbest Article Printed In a Large Circulation Publication In 2012.

I could go through my “stupid” tag, but most of those entries are for heroic individual acts of stupidity, and not articles from the mass media.

I could throw things open to my readers, but every time I do throw things open to my readers, I get, shall we say, a less than deafening response.

Then again, I can’t dance, and it is too wet to plow still, so….

…put your candidates for “Dumbest Article Printed In a Large Circulation Publication In 2012” into the comments, or email them to me at stainles at gmail dot com if you want to remain monogamous anonymous.

I do think we need some ground rules:

  • Both traditional print and web-based publications are eligible.
  • I will accept nominations of individual articles from Salon and Slate, but I will not accept nominations of either of those sites as a whole. I will also judge submissions from those two sites more harshly than I do submissions from other sources, as both sites already have a reputation for publishing articles of enormous stupidity; thus, I hold them to a higher standard than I do supposedly reputable mass media such as the LAT.
  • I will accept nominations of individual articles from this site and the Saturday Dining Conspiracy web site, just to be fair.
  • “UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this IMPORTANT Information is ENCOURAGED, ESPECIALLY to COMPUTER BULLETIN BOARDS.”

We’ve already got the LAT pot growers of the Emerald Triangle story to work with. (Though, on second thought, is that a stupid story, or a smart story about stupid people?)

I’ll add to the list this fine Salon article from January, which John Scalzi ably dissected. (“…the seven most damaging words in the English language for the reputation of any novelist might very well be ‘I just wrote an article for Salon.'”)

Any more entries? I’m sure I’m forgetting something, probably in Slate.

Edited to add: Thinking about it some more, I realized that I left the definition of “Large Circulation Publication” undefined. For example, does a professional writer’s personal blog that gets a lot of traffic count as a “Large Circulation Publication”? I think my answer to that is: you post ’em, I print ’em.

Posted in Clippings, Media, Stupid | 4 Comments »

Timeless. Changeless. Ways.

October 1st, 2012

In this case, not the timeless changeless ways of the Amish, but those of the…Emerald Triangle pot growers, who find their way of life threatened. Not by the fact that what they do is, you know, friggin’ illegal, but

Battered by competition from indoor cultivators around the state and industrial-size operations that have invaded the North Coast counties, many of the small-time pot farmers who created the Emerald Triangle fear that their way of life of the last 40 years is coming to an end.

Yes. They’re being threatened by competition.

Since the mid-1990s, the price of outdoor-grown marijuana has plummeted from more than $5,000 a pound to less than $2,000, and even as low as $800.

More:

…the liberalization of marijuana laws in the last decade upended the status quo.
From Oakland to the Inland Empire, people began cultivating indoors on an unprecedented scale at the same time that growers from around the world flooded the North Coast because of its remoteness and deep-rooted counterculture.

Medical marijuana dispensaries, according to the LAT, prefer weed grown indoors; I’m no expert on growing dope, but I’d figure that growing indoors gives you a more consistent product and more reliable sourcing.

The locals complain that back in the old days (we’re talking about the 1980s here), dope farmers “paid for community centers, fire departments, road maintenance and elementary schools.”

Even today, small cannabis-funded volunteer fire stations and primary schools are scattered throughout the ranges. And the local radio station, KMUD, announces the sheriff’s deputies’ movements as part of its public service mandate.

But now:

Longtime residents complain that the newcomers cut down trees, grade hillsides, divert creeks to irrigate multi-thousand-plant crops, use heavy pesticides and rat poisons, and run giant, smog-belching diesel generators to illuminate indoor grows. They blaze around in Dodge monster trucks and Cadillac Escalades and don’t contribute to upkeep of the roads or schools.

And:

“Ultimately we worry about Winston or Marlboro getting some land and doing their thing,” said Lawrence Ringo, a 55-year-old grower and seed breeder deep in the wilds of Sohum. “We see it time after time in America — big corporations come in and take over.”

Wow, Ringo. Did you really think that when dope was legalized, R.J. Reynolds was going to come down out of the hills and start purchasing your organic free-range ganja in quantities large enough to satisfy the American consumer?

“How can sun-grown not be better medicine?” Anna asked. “If you’re sick, you want something that has chemicals in it? You can’t grow indoor organically. Not to mention the fossil fuels it burns up.”

“If you’re sick, you want something that has chemicals in it?” Yes, you stupid bitch. We in the civilized world call that “medicine”. And here’s another big fucking hint for you: everything has chemicals in it, including your organic brown rice and that dope you’re growing.

The libertarian side of me believes that marijuana should be legalized. The non-liberatarian side of me is starting to lean more towards legalization, if it means that these idiots will be forced to find some sort of useful work.

Legalization “has the potential to be devastating,” she said.

The most shocking thing about this story? That the LAT apparently printed it with a straight face.

Posted in California Über Alles, Clippings, Law | 1 Comment »

Well. Well well well well. Well.

October 1st, 2012

The significance is not that I happened to stumble across this:

(This being Fast and Furious: Barack Obama’s Bloodiest Scandal and the Shameless Cover-Up, if you can’t read the cover in the photo taken with CrapCam 2.0!)

The significance is where I found it: on a register endcap at my local H.E.B., where they usually keep magazines, best-selling books (like King and Patterson) and impulse purchase items.

(Edited to add before someone points it out me: H.E.B. is a large local grocery store chain.)

And while my readers outside of Texas may think that this is a particularly conservative state…well, you’d be right, but Austin, and especially the part of Austin I live in, is an Obama stronghold. Seeing this get such prominent display is a bit surprising.

Posted in Books, Guns, Politics | Comments Closed

We do the legwork so you don’t have to.

October 1st, 2012

Since I posted twice about the auction that included some of Bonnie and Clyde’s guns, I felt that I owed it to my loyal readers (all four of them) to give some final results. All of these are by way of Invaluable.com, which notes that these prices have not yet been verified.

Bonnie’s Colt Detective Special went for $220,000.

Clyde’s Colt in “Fitz Special” style went for $37,000.

A 1911 that Clyde had in his waistband during the ambush went for $200,000.

The S&W Hand Ejector went for $41,000, against a pre-sale estimate of $75,000 – $100,000.

The “Baby Face” Nelson S&W “Safety Hammerless” went for $17,000, against a pre-sale estimate of $40,000 – $50,000.

I’m not sure what to make of these two Smiths. It may be that “Baby Face” Nelson associational items don’t have the same draw as Bonnie and Clyde, but I’m not sure why Clyde’s S&W didn’t meet expectations. Perhaps the fact that it has been re-finished had something to do with that…

And the Emmett Dalton .44 Russian top-break went for $15,000, against a pre-sale estimate of $25,000 – $30,000.

(Edited to add: Invaluable.com requires you to have an account and be signed in before showing prices, so if you don’t see prices at those links, that’s why.

Also, thinking about it some more, the 1911 and Bonnie’s Colt were probably big money guns because they were actually recovered from Bonnie and Clyde’s bodies after the ambush. The S&W was apparently in the car, but not found on either of them, and the “Fitz” was recovered from a car stolen by Clyde. So that may explain the pricing. Maybe. What do I know?)

(Edited to add 10/2: Here’s the report direct from RR Auction, which gives the prices including bidder’s premium. Invaluable’s prices apparently did not include that figure.)

Posted in 1911, Clippings, Colt, Guns, Smith and Wesson | Comments Closed

The map is not the territory.

October 1st, 2012

I was going to the destination for Saturday’s Saturday Dining Conspiracy. So, of course, I put the address into the new IOS6 mapping application on my shiny new iPhone 5.

The phone routed me to a shopping center across a major highway and, I’d estimate, about .3 miles from where the restaurant actually was.

Oh, wait. Did I say “IOS6 maps” and “shiny new iPhone 5”? I’m sorry. I meant to say “Google Navigation” and “my two-year-old HTC EVO running Android”.

Point being: Apple’s new Maps may not be up-to-spec, but I’ve personally run into problems with Google Maps/Google Navigation on my phone as well. Apple gets all the attention now, probably because new! shiny! but the claimed perfection of Google does not exist.

(As I said above, I use an HTC Evo on Sprint. Now that I’m off contract, I am considering an iPhone 5, mostly because I’m not totally happy with Android as an environment and as an ecosystem, as well as not very much liking the Sprint add-ons. As I’ve said elsewhere before, I work professionally with Windows and UNIX based operating systems, my main home computers are Macs, and my laptop is a netbook running Ubuntu. I don’t have a dog in the platform wars, and I don’t really give a damn what you use, or what you think of other people who use a different platform.)

Posted in Android, Apple, Geek | Comments Closed

Your loser update: week 4, 2012.

September 30th, 2012

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
New Orleans

Houston The Houston Astros is are at 53-106, for a .333 winning percentage. With three games left, they’re not going to lose 110, but they have tied last year’s record number of losses, and it looks like they’re on track to break that record.

Edited to add: Since I am editing this post anyway (thanks, Lawrence) I’ll mention this HouChron article pointing out that you can get tickets for tonight’s game against the Cubs for “as low as 75 cents”. I haven’t checked to see what tickets for other MLB teams are going for on StubHub, which is why I hesitated to do a post.

Edited to add 2: And Lawrence sent me a link to that HouChron article as well, so he gets a hattip, even though I didn’t see his email before I added the ETA.

Posted in Loser, NFL, Sports | 1 Comment »

Emu meat!

September 30th, 2012

In this part of southern India known for scams that vary from teak plantations and gold to real estate and foreign exchange, this was a con with a difference. Rather than dangling the usual bling to attract investors to their get-rich-quick scheme, these “entrepreneurs” used emus.

Oh, if only people learned from history…

And:

By some estimates, 1,000 Ponzi schemes operate at any given time in each of India’s 28 states, fueled by weak regulation, overlapping agencies and corrupt officials.

Might I suggest that anytime somebody says to you, “Yes, you can get into the business of raising large flightless birds, even if you live in an apartment. You don’t even need to ever see the birds” you should probably turn around and run in the opposite direction?

Posted in Clippings, Food, Stupid | Comments Closed

Obit watch: September 30, 2012.

September 30th, 2012

In case you were wondering how the paper of record would cover the death of former publisher Arthur Ochs Sulzberger, “who guided The New York Times and its parent company through a long, sometimes turbulent period of expansion and change on a scale not seen since the newspaper’s founding in 1851”, you can find that here.

If you were wondering how other papers would approach this: LAT. WP.

I’d also like to mention the death of noted racing journalist Chris Economaki. Back when I was a wee lad and watched racing coverage on ABC, Economaki and Jackie Stewart were always there. I miss those days…

Posted in Cars, Clippings, Media, Obits | Comments Closed

Burn it to the ground and start over. (Part 5)

September 29th, 2012

I think everyone knows Camden, New Jersey is a troubled city.

The police acknowledge that they have all but ceded these streets to crime, with murders on track to break records this year.

What to do, what to do?

Answer: burn it to the ground and start over.

…in November, Camden, which has already had substantial police layoffs, will begin terminating the remaining 273 officers and give control to a new county force. The move, officials say, will free up millions to hire a larger, nonunionized force of 400 officers to safeguard the city, which is also the nation’s poorest.

More:

Though the city is solidly Democratic, the plan to put the Police Department out of business has not prompted the wide public outcry seen in the union battles in Chicago, Ohio or Wisconsin, in part because many residents have come to resent a police force they see as incompetent, corrupt and doing little to make their streets safe.

So I’m wondering where people think the Camden PD officers are going? Do they really think these “incompetent, corrupt, and doing little” officers aren’t going to wind up as part of the new county force? It isn’t just a question of politics: where is the new force supposed to get 400 trained officers from, if not from the pool of existing officers who aren’t currently working?

Camden’s budget was $167 million last year, and of that, the budget for the police was $55 million. Yet the city collected only $21 million in property taxes. It has relied on state aid to make up the difference, but the state is turning off the spigot.

More:

For example, officers earn an additional 4 percent for working a day shift, and an additional 10 percent for the shift starting at 9:30 p.m. They earn an additional 11 percent for working on a special tactical force or an anticrime patrol.

I’m going to have to propose that to my boss. “Hey, boss. I’d like an extra four percent for working my normal 8-5 shift. How about it?” (My company actually does pay a night shift differential.)

Salaries range from about $47,000 to $81,000 now, not including the shift differentials or additional longevity payments of 3 percent to 11 percent for any officer who has worked five years or more. Officials say they anticipate salaries for the new force will range from $47,000 to $87,000.

Before: $47,000 to $81,000. After: $47,000 to $87,000. This is the kind of thinking that has gotten us to where we are today: nimble-footed sprinters on the treadmill of life. (Tne NYT is unclear as to whether the “after” includes shift differentials and the special incentives.)

And liberal sick time and family-leave policies have created an unusually high absentee rate: every day, nearly 30 percent of the force does not show up. (A typical rate elsewhere is in the single digits.)

And:

Under labor law, the current contract will remain in effect if the new county force hires more than 49 percent of the current officers. So county officials say they will hire fewer than that. Nevertheless, they expect that the new force will eventually become unionized.

I see. So they can hire up to 49% of the current Camden officers. 49% of 400 is 196. The current Camden PD has 273 officers. Interesting numbers there.

Posted in Clippings, Cops, Law | Comments Closed

When earth-moving equipment is outlawed…

September 28th, 2012

…only outlaws will have earth-moving equipment.

When banners purportedly signed by Velazquez recently appeared in various cities — accusing rival Miguel Trevino and his followers of being traitors — Trevino reportedly sent steam shovels and earth-moving equipment to smash one of Velasquez’s homes in the Zacatecas city of Fresnillo.

Hey, at least Trevino didn’t try to kill Velasquez with a forklift… (Edited to add 10/1: What, none of you people noticed I screwed up the link? Fixed now.)

This reminds me, in turn, of something I ran across a few days ago. I was searching for the Latin translation of “the ram has touched the wall” (“Murum aries attigit”, if you’re curious) and found this quote, attributed to Seneca: “Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentis telum est”. Or, “A sword is never a killer, it is a tool in a killer’s hand.” Sound…familiar?

(N.B. I have not been able to personally track down the attribution to Seneca.)

Posted in Guns, Law | Comments Closed

PSG, WSP.

September 28th, 2012

For those of you unfamiliar with that abbreviation, that’s Jay G’s rendering of “Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes“.

Police say an argument erupted in the parking lot between the ex-boyfriend, his brother and the bouncer about why the bouncer was helping the woman get her personal items.
The bouncer grabbed a shotgun and fired one shot into the ground. The ricocheting buckshot or debris dislodged by the blast hit the ex-boyfriend’s brother in the leg.

This is why you don’t fire warning shots, people!

Posted in Clippings, Guns, Law | Comments Closed

Guns up!

September 28th, 2012

Remember the auction we noted earlier in the week? The one that included some of Bonnie and Clyde’s guns?

Well, by way of SayUncle, we learned that there was a bit of a kerfuffle. One of the guns in the auction is a Colt Detective Special that was found taped to Bonnie’s thigh. Frank Hamer, the man who led the posse that reduced Bonnie and Clyde to “a bunch of wet rags” [*], took that gun (and many, if not all, of their other guns) as spoils after the ambush, and it got handed down from Hamer through a couple of other folks before ending up in the auction.

So what’s the problem? The serial number on Bonnie’s gun was obliterated, and BATFE doesn’t much like people selling guns with altered or obliterated serial numbers.  Serial numbers, as I understand it, were actually not required until the Gun Control Act of 1968, so there are guns out there without serial numbers. But if the gun did have a serial number, like Bonnie’s did, and that serial number is defaced or altered, you can’t legally sell the gun.

What to do, what to do? If you’re the auction house, you contact your friendly local BATFE branch. I will now pause for a moment so you can laugh at the juxtaposition of  “friendly” and BATFE.

In this case, though, BATFE issued a new serial number for the gun, and had the gun re-stamped, making it all nice and legal for the auction. SayUncle and some of his commentators seem a little bent out of shape about BATFE doing this; personally, I’d rather have them do this than have the gun confiscated and melted down.

While I was writing this entry, Lawrence sent me an actual link to the auction. Bonnie’s Colt is here.

The “Fitz Special” that I wrote about previously is here. Looking over the auction description, a couple of things jump out at me. There are three documents giving the gun’s provenance, from various law enforcement officers, but there’s no Colt factory letter documenting the gun. The price of a Colt letter, according to their website, is $75; that’s a small percentage of the estimated auction price, and I’d personally like to see one of those letters with the gun before I bid (were I planning to bid; yeah, like I have $50,000). It might help document the story that Clyde stole this gun from a Texas Ranger. I strongly suspect (and the auction notes seem to confirm) that this is not an actual Fitzgerald modified gun, but one done in his style.

Why, yes, as a matter of fact, there is a Smith and Wesson Hand Ejector in this auction. And it has “a copy” of a factory letter. There’s also a “Baby Face” Nelson Safety Hammerless (Third Model) with a S&W factory letter, too. And a .44 Double Action First Model top-break carried by Emmett Dalton, also with factory letter. Except for those three, it seems that choosy gangsters chose Colts.

[*] That description, and some of the other background in this post, comes from Jeff Guinn’s stunning Go Down Together: The True, Untold Story of Bonnie and Clyde, the definitive work of Bonnie and Clyde scholarship and a book I enthusiastically recommend.

Posted in Books, Clippings, Colt, Guns, Smith and Wesson | 1 Comment »

Random notes: September 28, 2012.

September 28th, 2012

So Bo Xilai has been expelled from the Chinese Communist Party, and faces criminal prosecution on charges related to bribery and the criminal case involving his wife and her alleged murder of a British businessman. That’s pretty much news everywhere.

But here’s something interesting:

A senior Chinese forensic scientist who works for the government has said that the evidence presented in a prominent criminal trial last month did not prove that Neil Heywood, a British businessman, was killed last year by cyanide poisoning.

More Herbert Lom obits: NYT. A/V Club. LAT.

Good news, everyone! If you work in the Texas state prisons, a Facebook friendship with a convict no longer violates the ban on fraternization!

About two weeks ago, officials reinstated the sergeant after an internal investigation determined that a number of other prison employees had the same online friend, including the prison system’s chief financial officer.

Joseph Wolfe, a former police officer with the Fullerton police department, has been charged with involuntary manslaughter and excessive use of force in the beating death of Kelly Thomas. Officer Wolfe is the third officer to be charged in this case. (Previously. Also previously, and graphic image warning.)

The findings suggest that voters are leery of sending more cash to Sacramento in the wake of a financial scandal at the parks department, spiraling costs for a multibillion-dollar high-speed rail project to connect Northern and Southern California and ill-timed legislative pay raises.

Really? That’s a shocker.

Posted in California Über Alles, Clippings, Cops, Law, Obits, Politics | Comments Closed

And you thought fried butter was excessive.

September 28th, 2012

The HouChron has an article listing some of the fun foods you’ll be able to get at the State Fair of Texas, which starts today.

Fried Sugar- Sweet sugar cubes are dipped in pancake batter, then popped in the fryer until golden brown. Topped with creamy caramel sauce.

I am not sure if this differs from the:

Fried Sugar Cubes– Yep, just like it sounds. Simple and sweet! Sugar cubes double-dipped in batter: chocolate, vanilla, or both. Deep-fried, then drizzled with chocolate, caramel or fruit sauces.

or if the duplication is just sloppy editing by the HouChron.

Other highlights include the fried jambalaya and fried bacon cinnamon roll (previously), the “Deep Fried Red Velvet Cupcake” (the description of which sounds exactly like you’d expect, until you get to the “a perfectly fried boneless chicken wing is placed on the cupcake”), the “Deep Fried Chicken and Waffle”, and the “Fried Kitty-Kat” (which has nothing to do with being mean to animals).

Question for the huddled masses: would you eat something called “Cup of Trash”?

Posted in Clippings, Food, On a stick | Comments Closed

Random notes: September 27, 2012.

September 27th, 2012

Sorry, folks. My normal schedule has been disrupted by a (thankfully not serious) personal matter.

“Who’s a good boy? Yes, you are. You’re a good boy. You sniff out drugs. Yes you do. And you don’t steal guns from the city and sell them. No, you don’t. And you don’t owe tens of thousands of dollars in child support in Texas. Good boy! Go catch the ball!”

(Hattip: Balko.)

The guy APD shot Tuesday night? Died in the hospital. (Linked article contains more details on the shooting.)

Obit watches: The WP is reporting the death of Herbert Lom.

John Silber, former Boston University president.

Andy Williams. (A/V Club. NYT. LAT.)

Posted in Clippings, Cops, Law, Movies, Music, Obits | Comments Closed

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