34. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.
–“The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries“, Schlock Mercenary
Sometimes you buy the book, then you buy the gun.
Sometimes you buy the gun, then you buy the book.
Some days you get the bear, other days the bear gets you.
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When the Smith and Wesson .500 Magnum came out, I didn’t care much for it. I still don’t like pretty much all of the production guns.
What’s not to like about one of the most powerful handguns in existence?
Well, for one thing, the factory guns are shiny. Awful shiny to me.
Secondly, I don’t care much for the barrel options. FotB Andrew is interested in the .500 Magnum, so I’ve taken a look at a few. There’s one with a 10 1/2″ barrel that we got a chance to handle at Collector’s Firearms in Austin. I’m sure that’s great for some people. For me, if i wanted a crew-served weapon, I’d buy a vintage French 75.
There’s an 8 3/8″ version that still seems awkward to me (and we haven’t found one anywhere recently). There’s a 7 1/2″ Performance Center version that seems perhaps less awkward than the 10 1/2″. (Since this is a Performance Center gun, we’d probably have to special order it: I don’t think anybody is going to have one in stock.) There’s a 4″ version that seems too short to me. And there’s a 3 1/2″ version that’s probably great for self-defense: if you don’t hit the bad guy, the muzzle blast will deafen him, and the fireball will set him on fire.
(Smith and Wesson at one point made an “Emergency Revolver Survival Kit” and a bear emergency kit, both containing a .500 Magnum with a 2 3/4″ barrel. I sort of vaguely wanted one of those, just because it seemed so ridiculous. Also, I like the fact that the bear one includes a book on “bear attacks”.)
(And, on a side note, why aren’t there more .500 Magnum lever guns? The few I have seen are from high-end custom or semi-custom gun makers. I haven’t seen any that I’d consider “mass produced”. I have heard rumors that S&W is looking at a .500 Magnum chambering for their 1854 lever gun, sometime in the not too distant future (but not next Sunday, A.D.).)
There is, however, one Smith and Wesson .500 Magnum that I do like. But I didn’t know about it until I read Timothy J. Mullin’s Serious Smith & Wessons The N- and X-Frame Revolvers: The S&W Phenomenon.