Whipped Cream Difficulties

All the cool kids are doing it, so I thought I’d throw my chapeau into the washing machine. Hence, a list of my guilty pleasures:

• “Cops” and “America’s Most Wanted”. I actually find AMW to be a kind of a amazing show in the sheer perfection of the idea; put a show on the air that’s impossible to cancel. If Fox ever did try to cancel it (and they did, once. Once.) the howls of outrage from law enforcement would be heard from coast to coast. John Walsh is right at the border of getting on my last nerve, though (especially given his ignorance about guns) so I don’t want to spend a lot of time on the show.

  “Cops”, on the other hand…well, I can’t explain the strange attraction of that show to me. I’d like to think it isn’t a “there but for the grace of God go I” sort of thing; no matter how low my social circumstances go, I don’t think you’ll ever catch me wearing a wife-beater and drinking a Bud Light after thumping some on my woman. It may be that there’s just a dark part of my soul that enjoys seeing stupid people in trouble.

• The music of the not-so-late C.W. McCall. Especially “Convoy” and “Wolf Creek Pass”. I have fond memories of riding around in our old Chevy Suburban with the 8-track tape player, listening to a Radio Shack tape of trucking songs that included “Wolf Creek Pass”, “Phantom 309”, and “The White Knight”. (Anyone else remember those last two? I’m probably dating myself. But then, no one else will.)

  As for “Convoy”, let’s just say that I used to have a 45-RPM record of that song that I literally wore the grooves smooth on. Yes, it is on my iPod.

• The “Dirty Harry” movies. At least “Dirty Harry”, “Magnum Force”, and “Sudden Impact”. I’ll actually defend “Dirty Harry” as being a lot more subtle and sophisticated than people like Roger Ebert think. I don’t see it as a fascist film; I see it as a movie about a good man, struggling to do a job, and dealing with a new set of obstacles society has put in his way. Indeed, I think it could be argued that “Dirty Harry” is a modern remake of “High Noon”, right down to the last scene. (I’m pretty sure Harry throwing his badge into the water is a direct homage by Don Siegel.)

  “Magnum Force” I’ll also defend as an answer to the critics who claimed Harry was a vigilante, and the people who said “So what? Maybe we need vigilantes these days.” I see “Magnum Force” as a movie that’s explicitly about the rule of law, and the need for same.

  “Sudden Impact”…well, I really can’t defend that as anything but fun. “Smith…and Wesson…and me.” “Go ahead, make my day.” The dogshit speech. (Another shameful confession: I also have Clint Eastwood and T.G. Sheppard’s duet, “Make My Day”, on the iPod.)

  I won’t defend “The Enforcer”, and I’ve heard so many bad things about “The Dead Pool” that I haven’t watched it yet.