Okay, maybe not. But it’s been a while since I did one of these.
Whatever happened to Beanie Babies?
(Spoiler: they’re worthless.)
Okay, maybe not. But it’s been a while since I did one of these.
Whatever happened to Beanie Babies?
(Spoiler: they’re worthless.)
The past few days have been busy ones for law enforcement in and around Austin, and not just because of South By So What. Here’s a quick survey of some things that I’ve found interesting.
There’s a new plan for the APD DNA lab: get Texas DPS to run it.
Under a proposed contract, the city of Austin will pay the Texas Department of Public Safety $800,000 a year to manage all aspects of the lab, including procedures for analyzing forensic evidence and the oversight of employees hired by the DPS to work there.
The newly named Department of Public Safety Capital Area Regional Lab will focus exclusively on Austin police cases, Assistant Police Chief Troy Gay said.
I suppose this is better than nothing, or the current state of affairs. And $800,000 sounds like a reasonable amount of money if the new management from DPS is going to fix all the problems and claw through the backlog. But I still think we’d be better off with an independent lab like Houston’s, or making the existing lab am arm of the courts.
Speaking of the DNA lab, here’s a story I haven’t seen reported anywhere else:
(Note that the paper of record characterizes this as “crowdfunding”, which I find a bit misleading.)
Where have I heard $800,000 recently? Oh, yeah.
You know what I’d really like to see? A breakdown of where that “$1,000 to $1,500 for each kit” goes. I’m not against rape kit testing – quite the opposite – but I’m curious why it costs that much. I’m also curious if this cost has increased or decreased over time, with improved technology. And are there possibly better, faster, and cheaper ways of testing rape kits without sacrificing accuracy?
If you look at the Stateman‘s handy Google map, you’ll see this took place not terribly far from the Lake Travis High School/Education Center complex. My mother and I were down there last night with a bunch of other people….attending the Lakeway Police Department’s Citzens Police Academy class. As a matter of fact, right around the time of the shooting, we were out in the parking lot looking at the Lakeway PD patrol cars (Chevy Tahoes. This led someone to ask, “Why the switch to SUVs?” I suspect most of my readers know the answer already, but in case you don’t: “Because Ford stopped making the Crown Vic, the greatest patrol car ever given to us by God.”) and the Lakeway PD police motorcycles (Harley Davidsons). I don’t recall hearing any shots or even the Starflight helicopter.
Even better, we had just finished listening to a presentation from one of the people who does the Lakeway PD statistical analysis about how safe Lakeway was, how many calls for service/stops/arrests there were year to year, and what the major categories were. “Homicide” didn’t even register. (Technically, it’s probably still true that Lakeway is relatively safe, even though the shooter is at large: I believe the shooting happened near, but outside of, the Lakeway city limits, so it would be chalked up as “unincorporated Travis County”.)
The first we knew about it was when we were breaking up for the night: the second in command of the department (who also runs the classes, and who usually jokes around a lot) came in and said “I want everyone to listen to me very closely. Two people have been shot near here and the shooter is still at large. We are going to walk everyone to the parking lot and make sure you all get into your cars safely. I need for you to leave the area as quickly as you possibly can.” That will put some spring in your step.
Reports are that this was “an isolated incident”, possibly a “disgruntled contractor” who shot these people because he didn’t get paid. Which is just stupid: if you shoot people, they can’t pay you.
And speaking of the Lakeway CPA, for reasons: a interesting and contrarian point of view from Grits For Breakfast in opposition to a statewide ban on “texting and driving”.
For the love of God, don’t go swimming in a Yellowstone hot spring.
First of all, it will kill you.
Second of all, those springs are acid, and will dissolve your dead body.
We haven’t had a musical interlude in a while. Let’s fix that. Besides, this is a rather catchy little ditty,
This story has everything: fire, an explosion, strippers (“Willow” and “Breonna”), and a potato.
…
Yes, I’m going to make you click through to the WP if you want to find out how the potato came into play. Hint: Martin is the stripper, Garguilo is the boyfriend (she’s 19, he’s 28: isn’t love grand?) and neither one is terribly bright.
One more quick Leland “Uncle” Yee thought that I didn’t have time for in the previous entry:
Yes, folks, you read that correctly. Campaign finance reform is the only thing standing between you and your elected state senator smuggling guns to Islamic terrorists and rebel groups in the Philippines.
…to lose your job as a cop?
If you’re the police chief in Phoenix, the answer is “insubordination”. Specifically, calling a press conference and demanding a new contract after the city manager said “Don’t DO that!” seems to be a sure way to get yourself terminated.
If you’re with the Austin Police Department, the answer is “running your mouth to a reporter”. Technically, Andrew Pietrowski “retired”, but it seems like his retirement was just ahead of “being canned by Art Acevedo”.
The way I read this, it wasn’t like Pietrowski was asked for his opinion; he just walked up to a reporter who was there for another reason and started spouting off.
The 76ers, turning the fundamental belief system of sports on its head, do not mind losing. A lot.
However, they did screw up their chances of going 0-82. Philadelphia is now 1-17.
Anybody out there missing a pony?
Public service announcement: if you get an “order confirmation” email from someplace like Costco or Home Depot, and you didn’t place an online order, and the email doesn’t contain specific details about which store you should pick it up at, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T CLICK ON THE LINKS!
I’m sure most of my readers are smart enough to figure this out on their own, but I wanted to mention it here for reasons.
By way of Ace of Spades: The LA Police Department Skilled Shooting Exhibition Of 1936. (As Maetenloch notes, this is probably from 1938. And although the heading says LAPD, this is actually the LA Sheriff’s Department.)
There’s some good stuff in this:
There are also some things I really dislike about this video:
Many of which I have written about here.
But forging a court order in an attempt to get content you don’t like removed is a whole new kind of stupid, even for sleazy telemarketers.
(Is “sleazy telemarketer” redundant?)
(Wiki wandering led me to the article on the Big Boys:
Spinal Tap really was a documentary, and we just didn’t know it at the time.)
(Edited to add: Hurrah! The U2/Popmart/giant lemon story is immortalized online! What did I tell you? (Scroll down to “Rock and Roll Creation”.) By the way, I own and enthusiastically recommend This is Spinal Tap: Official Companion.)
….or is the whole “Elf on the Shelf” phenomenon simultaneously stupid and creepy?
“Hi, kids, you’re being watched all the time!” I guess that prepares them for a lifetime of NSA surveillance…
Available scents are claimed to include:
Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it in action. But even if this does turn out to be real, and not a hoax, I still think it is a damn stupid idea. (Anyone remember the iSmell?)
Also:
Almost as cool as making the theme song to “The Wire” (the Season 5 version) your ringtone … almost.
Oh, bullshit. Everyone knows the Season 1 version (with the Blind Boys of Alabama) is the best version.
Edited to add: I have been challenged to provide support for the above statement.
Here’s a handy page that contains YouTube versions of the theme song from all five seasons.
The weather here yesterday was spectacularly crappy.
Today is beautiful. The sun is shining, the temperature is moderate – a perfect spring day.
For various reasons, including how nice a day it is (as well as some others that I don’t want to touch on just now) I thought it’d be fun to go down to the state capitol and take some photos.
So I loaded up the Honda with shovels and rakes and implements of destruction the big Nikon with the camera bag and lenses, as well as my tripod. Headed downtown to the capitol, got rockstar parking, and went inside to see a man about a racehorse before I started shooting. (Officious guard: “Sir, where are you going?” Me: “CHL holder.” OG: “Oh.”)
(For those who don’t know, the Texas capitol has a separate line for CHL holders that bypasses the metal detector.)
Anyway, get back outside, set stuff down, take out the camera…
…and the GD battery is dead. And, unlike my SD1000, I don’t have a spare Nikon battery.
Oh, well. I’m going to be down in that general area with the camera tomorrow as well, so I’ll plan on taking my photos tomorrow.
(And I stopped by Precision Camera on the way home so I could fix the “no spare Nikon battery” problem.)
(I’ve been meaning to mention this, but Precision Camera’s new store is really swell. Parking is a vast improvement over the old store, there’s much more space to move around and for them to display stuff, and the men’s room would get three stars if I was rating it for the SDC.)
Back in February, French President François Hollande visited Mali. While he was there, “grateful Malian authorities” gave him a baby camel.
This was, of course, a bad idea. “… the animal screeched constantly, and did not seem to enjoy the president’s attempt to pat it on the head.”
So he left it in the care of a local family.
The authorities in Mali are upset and embarrassed.
…reading the newspaper.
A couple of local idiots blew up their apartment last week, and now face “third-degree felony arson charges” to go with their third-degree burns. (I kid: apparently, their burns were only second-degree.)
How did they manage this? They were making BHO.
No, not “Barack Hussain Obama”, but “Butane Honey Oil”. I’d never heard of BHO before (not being a stoner), but the Statesman goes into an astounding level of detail about the process. Apparently, you put pot in a pipe with coffee filters at one end, screw a drilled cap on to the other end, and spray butane through it. The butane supposedly extracts the THC, and the butane/THC mix drips out through the coffee filter into a catch vessel (like a Pyrex pie plate). Then you can evaporate off the liquid butane, and viola!
What’s left is a concentrated oil, which can have a THC content of 40 percent or more, he said.
Back in the bad old days, when I was young, I would have had to do much more painful research to figure out the few details of the process that the Statesman left out. (Not that I was a stoner: I didn’t smoke then and I don’t smoke now.) Kids today have it easy: they can go watch idiots do it on YouTube.
(I got a kick out of the YouTube commenter who pointed out that that mask will do sweet FA for inhaled butane. I also got a kick out of the suggestions to use glass instead of PVC. Of course, if something does go wrong and these South Austin engineered rigs do explode in your hands, it won’t make any difference: the doctors will still have to dig fragments out of you.)
The Statesman does not detail, but I assume that something went wrong in the process of evaporating off the butane. Probably “didn’t do it outside, away from ignition sources like pilot lights”.
In related stories, “Using butane to extract THC from pot risky, experts say“. Gee, you think so?
Dude, I’m sorry. I don’t wish burns and hospital stays on anyone. But if you’re lighting a smoke while messing around with butane? Think of it as evolution in action.