NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
Cleveland
Kansas City
Jacksonville
New Orleans
Tennessee
Oakland
The Astros, believe or not, seem to be on a winning streak (having won their last two games) and are currently 48-99, for a .327 winning percentage. This projects out to 109 losses.
We are back, baby! Like that toenail fungus you just can’t get rid of.
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
New York Football Giants
Indianapolis
Cleveland
St. Louis
Miami
Kansas City
Jacksonville
New Orleans
Buffalo
Tennessee
Carolina
Green Bay
Seattle
Pittsburgh
Cincinnati
Oakland
And as we draw ever closer to the end of the long national nightmare that is baseball season, the Houston Astros are 44-97, with a .312 winning percentage. This projects out to 111 losses.
(As best as I can tell, the Astros have been mathematically eliminated from any possibility of post-season play. The Chicago Cubs have an extremely long shot at a wild card slot, still. I don’t think this is going to happen, but they haven’t technically been mathematically eliminated, so I don’t have to pay off Lawrence. Yet.)
The street finds its own uses for things.
Oh, look! Julie Taymor and the “Spider-Man” producers have settled their lawsuit out of court.
Quel frommage!
The worst Division I football program in history?
Savannah State is playing Oklahoma State and Florida State in the first two games, and will collect $860,000 (“which represents about 17 percent of the Tigers’ modest athletic budget”) for those games.
By the way, last year was a “1-10 season that included losses by scores of 63-6, 41-6, 47-7, 45-3 and 59-3, in addition to a defeat at the hands of a team that had lost 29 conference games in a row.”
There’s an interesting piece in the LAT about George Perez, former city manager and city councilman in Cudahy. (Previously.) Perez has not been charged with any crimes, yet, but is a major figure in the criminal cases against other Cudahy officials:
Perez started out as a janitor in Cudahy and worked his way up to the city manager position
And this is kind of interesting:
So there were concerns twelve years ago, but nothing happened? Quel frommage, again!
This is CNN SportsFirings.com, after all.
The Astros are currently at .322, 39-82. If they keep up this pace, they should lose 110 games this season.
I haven’t been following the baseball losers this year: I plan to do a post at the All-Star break about who has the worst records.
But I did want to point out this article from the HouChron:
(The Astros lost today, to make their record 33-53, still the worst record in baseball. Second worst is a tie between the Colorado Rockies…and the Cubs, both at 33-52.)
Edited to add: Huh. Well. Whaddya know? I guess we’re at the All-Star break after tonight’s games finish. I had no idea…
I feel a certain compulsion to note the achievement of the Charlotte Bobcats, who finished the NBA season with 23 consecutive losses and the worst winning percentage (0.106: 7-59 overall) in NBA history.
But here is my problem, and the reason I haven’t been on this like flies over a cow’s head in a Damien Hirst installation:
Charlotte only played 66 games. The 1972-1973 Philadelphia 76ers played 82 games, and finished with a 0.110 percentage (9-73).
So, yeah, Charlotte’s achievement is noteworthy, but it goes in my personal record book with a big old asterisk. I don’t like counting records from strike-shortened seasons.
Of course, if the Bobcats come back next year and make a strong run for the futility title, I’ll be on it as much as I am on anything involving the NBA.
I rely on Lawrence for my NBA news; it would be possible for me to care less than I currently do about the NBA, but that would also be difficult.
Anyway, when Lawrence isn’t feeding me NBA news, I have to depend on FARK.
And it was from FARK that I learned that the Charlotte Bobcats are heading towards the worst season in NBA history (currently 3-25, for a .107 winning percentage).
Question, though: should we really count this? In general, I don’t give a lot of credit to records set during seasons affected by labor stoppages.
ETA: Anybody remember the 2009-2010 New Jersey Nets? (12-70, .146)
What a sorry ass-day in the NFL.
The Colts won, so no chance of an 0-16 team this year.
The Packers lost, which means that we’ll have to suffer through Gregg Easterbrook knowingly and willfully running his false Microsoft Word Autotext item about the G–d—n 1972 Miami Dolphins again.
It is enough to drive a guy to drink. Fortunately, I have a Shiner Holiday Cheer in the fridge to drown my sorrows with.
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
Indianapolis
A few notes: someone pointed out to us yesterday that Indy is just engaged in “sucking for Luck”; that is, they’re deliberately tanking the season in hopes of getting a first round the number one draft choice. We agree that this is probably the case: but all the Loser Update is intended to be, is a tally of who has a shot at going 0-16. Motivations aren’t a factor in the LU.
Secondly, we owe Lawrence $100. However, the link he posted says nothing about the Texans clinching the playoff berth. Here’s a better one.
Thirdly, this is only tangentially related to the loser update, but we’ve been threatening to link it all weekend: Elektrosjokkfotball. Basically, imagine two teams of Swedes playing soccer, where all the players (and the ref) are wearing shock collars, and the two observers/commentators have the controls. (I can’t tell for sure, but there may also have been alcohol involved.) I’d watch a lot more soccer if it was like this. (Push the “CC” button for English subtitles. Hattip: TJIC on the Twitter.)
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
Indianapolis
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
Indianapolis
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
Indianapolis (bye week)
No, wait, we can’t.
The Columbia marching band won’t be allowed to play for this Saturday’s final game. Apparently, it bothered the administration that the band used alternative lyrics for the Columbia fight song.
This, in turn, reminds me of an article I found over the weekend. (I was searching Google to see if a college football team had forfeited a game in recent memory.)
ESPN’s list of the worst college football teams of all time. Columbia (from 1983-1988) is #4. (By the way, the “teams” description is ESPN’s, not mine.)
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
Indianapolis
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
Indianapolis