Whipped Cream Difficulties

I have a feeling we’ve seen the end of the Jim Zorn era in Washington. When you lose to Detroit and Carolina, that’s a bad sign. Likewise, I’m thinking we’ve seen the end of the Wade Phillips and Tony Romo era in Dallas; the Cowboys struggled to beat the hapless Chiefs, and lost the opener in the PleasureDome. Jerry Jones isn’t going to put up with that when he has to sell tickets to the billion dollar monstrosity.

In other news, Cleveland is off the loser list after a titanic offensive battle against Buffalo, leaving us with only four NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Tennessee

Kansas City

Tampa

St. Louis

We came very close to a situation without precedent this weekend. Had Cleveland and Cincinnati played to a tie, Cleveland still would have had a chance to go without a win this season. Because of the rules of the loser update, Cleveland would have had to come off this list in accordance with the prophecy (since they would not technically be able to go 0-16). Sadly, this situation was averted. (I have family in the area around Cleveland, so their 0-4 start brings me no joy.) Miami brings me joy as well; yes, they won and are now off the list, but they beat Buffalo.

That being said, NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

Tennessee

Kansas City

Carolina (bye week)

Tampa

St. Louis

So let it be written. So let it be done.

Edited to add: Our great and good friend Lawrence points out this tidbit by way of Sports Illustrated:  Washington went up against the (0-0) Giants in their first game, the (0-1) Rams in their second, the (0-2) Lions in their third,  (0-3) Tampa Bay in their fourth, and will be facing (0-3) Carolina next week, followed by (currently 0-4) Kansas City.

Lawrence also points out that if you just try to cut and paste from the SI site, you get some not so amusing results, so I’ve paraphrased above.

Before we begin this week’s loser update, let us pause for a moment of silence in honor of the Detroit Lions. So, so close to touching the pinnacle of failure, only to have those aspirations snatched away from them.

With that out of the way, NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Miami

Cleveland

Tennessee

Kansas City

<This space intentionally left blank, in memory of the Lions.>

Carolina

Tampa

St. Louis

The week 3 loser update won’t be available until Tuesday (0-2 Carolina plays Dallas Monday night) but how in the heck do you lose to the hapless Detroit Lions?

And what of Texas Tech? Losing to UT wasn’t so bad (tough game against a tough team), but being defeated in the last seconds by the University of Houston? Is there a Texas Monthly cover curse? Two losses this early in the season do not bode well.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Miami

Cleveland

Tennessee

Jacksonville

Kansas City

Detroit (19 straight losses now: remember, the record is 26.)

Carolina

Tampa

St. Louis

It’s the most wonderful time of year. There’s a nip in the air, the grackles are grackling, and the NFL season begins. And with the start of the NFL season, we also restart the loser update.

Last year was a great year; we had the first team to go 0-16 ever. Is it possible that we’ll have more than one team this year? Or a team that loses 16 games for two straight seasons? The excitement is palpable.

Without further ado, NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Buffalo

Miami

Cincinnati

Cleveland

Tennessee

Jacksonville

Houston

Kansas City

Oakland

Washington

Chicago

Detroit (18 straight losses now: remember, the record is 26.)

Carolina

Tampa

Arizona

St. Louis