One of the things that I have learned, admittedly fairly late in life, is: if you see something specifically called out in rules or guidelines that seems odd or out of place (for example. “DON’T buy a parrot figuring that it will be a fun surprise for me.”) that thing is more than likely there because someone did it and it caused…issues.
What brings this to mind?
Now, ahead of another school year, Cornell has expressly banned the processing of wild game in residential kitchens on campus.
The longer version of the story: two Cornell students who had some spare time on their hands, rifles, and appropriate permits, went hunting and CillED A. BAr.
Having killed the bear, they did what any normal person would do: they took the bear back to their dorm and dressed it out in the kitchen. (Their original plan was to go to a friend’s house, but “their friend’s place was unavailable”.)
“We were really diligent,” he said. “We made sure we did everything by the book. We knew we’d be under scrutiny.”
As Mr. Chin and his friend carved up the bear in the first-floor kitchen, some of their peers were studying at nearby tables. Other students walked by and took pictures.
“Most people were really curious,” he said. “Like, ‘Hey, we’d love to try some.’”
“We were just explaining, like, ‘Hey, none of this goes to waste,’” Mr. Chin said.
But, sure enough, some joyless fun-sucker (probably a vegan) complained, and the university started an investigation.
Turns out:
The university later determined that Mr. Chin and his friend had not violated the student conduct code or Cornell’s community living standards, and the police did not file charges.
The police probably did not file charges because no crime had been committed, would be my guess. However, Cornell has decided to ban wild game processing in residence halls anyway.
There have been no other known instances of wild animals being processed in residence halls, Ms. Knewstub added.
For those students who would like to hunt, she said, “there are many certified vendors near and around campus who can work with hunters to process game.”
I am left with some questions, though. How do you make “black-bear pastrami”, and what does it taste like? (Somehow, I doubt you can use a standard pastrami recipe, and a quick Google search did not turn up a specific black bear one.)
I’m also vaguely curious about what rifles they used, and where they kept them.
(Short true story: I know someone who, when they were in school, wanted to take their shotgun back to the university with them so they could do some bird hunting. This was a fairly large university in Texas, but not one of the ones you usually think of. This person’s plan was to keep the gun at a friend’s house…the HMFWIC that was in charge of this person instead arranged for the shotgun to be kept at the home of a close personal friend of theirs. Namely, the university’s marching band director. Who, I was given to understand, was pretty heavily armed his ownself.)
(Guys, if you want to move to Texas after graduation, I’ll be happy to sponsor your application. The bear hunting here isn’t great, I don’t think. But we’ve got other game to make up for it.)
