Archive for the ‘Sarcasm’ Category

Random notes: May 3, 2012.

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

Obit watch: Junior Seau, former linebacker for the San Diego Chargers, Miami Dolphins, and New England Patriots.

And the Kennedy assassination conspiracy has claimed another victim: Earl Rose, the Dallas County medical examiner who wanted to autopsy Kennedy but was overruled. Dr. Rose also did the autopsies on J.D. Tippit (the police officer Oswald shot), on Oswald himself, and on Jack Ruby.

I am aware of the rumors that I was the winning bidder on Munch’s “The Scream”. At this time, I have no comment.

TMQ watch: February 7, 2012.

Tuesday, February 7th, 2012

Good news, everyone!

I’ve come up with a way for you to hear these columns in Professor Farnsworth’s voice!

Also, it turns out that this is the last TMQ of the season! Yes, no bad predictions review this year: just the Super Bowl column and then silence until draft time.

After the jump…

(more…)

Brain buckets.

Wednesday, December 28th, 2011

I mentioned this in passing in this week’s TMQ thread, but for all of those who don’t read it: my sister has a new post up at the Park City Snowmamas site.

Why you should wear a f–king helmet when skiing or snowboarding or engaged in other activities of that ilk.

Of course, that’s just my paraphrase of what she’s actually saying. My sister never uses the word “f–k” in conversation. Except for maybe when one of her boys tries to sneak a box of Pop-Tarts or a case of Monster energy drink into the house….

Important medical news.

Wednesday, December 21st, 2011

…51-year-old woman in the state died after she was infected with the “brain-eating” amoeba Naegleria fowleri, which enters the body through the nose and sometimes causes devastating meningitis. Apparently, the amoeba lurked in tap water the woman used in her neti pot, a pitcher-like device used to rinse nasal passages.

This is why I only use single-malt scotch in my Neti pot. (Mixing it with Mountain Dew is optional.)

TMQ watch update.

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

Mike the Musicologist pinged me while I was at dinner, and we had a pleasant conversation about a couple of items in this week’s TMQ watch.

Unfortunately, this conversation took place through text messages, which means that we had limited space to discuss our views. (MtM: “What?! There’s thoughts that can’t be contained in a tweet?! My world is shattered.”)

(There may have been some sarcasm there.)

(Also, I am starting to think that MtM is the Random Eddie to my TJIC. Except with fewer burritos, because he doesn’t come up here often enough.)

Anyway, point 1: MtM questions the “ever since” in “there’s no good New York style deli in Austin, ever since Katz’s closed”. I say: I never had a bad meal at Katz’s. MtM says: he did, where “bad” = “did not stay down”. I say: Yeah, I can understand your position. Meals that do not stay down generally put me off a restaurant for life. Also, it is probably fair to say “New York style”: Katz’s probably wasn’t a true NY deli, but more like a close approximation for Austin. (I say “probably” because I haven’t been to NYC in 20 years, and didn’t eat in any delis while I was there.)

Point the second: MtM argues that Easterbrook, in his “Golden Age of News” item, confuses “access” (or arguably “quantity”) with “quality”. Just because we have more access to news, is that a good thing, when “news” consists of “who won this year’s glorified karaoke competition”?

I think this is a fair point to bring up, but at the same time it raises some slippery questions. Was the New York Times of 1933 a higher quality newspaper than the NYT of 1958? Was the NYT of 1958 a better paper than the NYT of 2003? How do you judge the quality of a newspaper in an objective fashion?

I wouldn’t be so quick to say “Well, the people of 1933/1958 were much less obsessed with trivia like sports and entertainment than the people of today.” Are you sure of that? There was certainly a market for Confidential magazine, to take one example. How much difference do you think there is between the old Confidential and TMZ? Even if you want to go back to the 1930s, try reading Only Yesterday and Since Yesterday: one of the big things I took away from both books is that the people of the 1920s and 1930s were just as obsessed with the things we consider “trivial” today as we are now. The difference is, other than contemporary observers like Fredrick Lewis Allen who were writing things down as they happened, most folks have forgotten the trivia.

I’m rambling a bit here. I bring this up because I think it might provoke a worthwhile discussion, and MtM doesn’t really like posting in my comments section. So have at it, folks.

Seriously, guys. Tecate?

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Three Covina men are behind bars after they allegedly stole a 30-pack of Tecate beer from a market and attempted to escape but crashed a car and hit an employee who chased them, then one ran through a car wash and another left behind his ID.

You couldn’t have found a better beer to steal, as long as you were stealing beer? I think we can make this a general rule of thumb: if it comes in a 30-pack, it isn’t worth screwing up the rest of your life for.

Also, what is up with that guy in the middle’s face?

Important safety tip (#5 in a series).

Friday, August 12th, 2011

If you’re going to sell “lobster salad” in your store, it is a very good idea to make sure that your “lobster salad” contains actual lobster.

No, I’m not convinced by the argument that crawfish is close enough to lobster for it to count.

Shade-Tovo update: June 6, 2011.

Monday, June 6th, 2011

The Statesman threw the weight of their coveted editorial board endorsement behind Randi Shade. In other news, there’s a crying need for a <SARCASM> tag in HTML.

Meanwhile, the Austin Chronicle has, not surprisingly, thrown the weight of their coveted editorial board endorsement behind Kathie Tovo. I believe that and three dollars will get her a large coffee at some hip local coffee shop.

(I think the AusChron endorsement is probably more beneficial for Tovo than the Statesman‘s would have been. At this point, though, I don’t think it matters; I’m pretty sure the people who are going to vote have made up their minds, and the people who could possibly be swayed by these endorsements are unlikely to turn out for the election.)

The Shade endorsement is interesting, though, in light of this lengthy article from Sunday’s Statesman about the possibility of a Tovo win:

The race’s outcome could have consequences beyond election day — subtly shifting the dynamics on the council, possibly making it tougher for [Mayor Lee] Leffingwell to push an agenda, and shaping next year’s race for mayor, according to interviews with two dozen people who follow city issues.

Basically, the Statesman depicts Leffingwell, member Mike Martinez, and Shade as a core voting block that allows Leffingwell to push his agenda; without Shade as a reliable vote, Leffingwell’s position becomes more difficult.

What is Leffingwell looking to push?

In November 2012 , for example, he wants to put to a public vote a plan for urban rail and several changes to city government, including adding district representation on the City Council.

Hmmmmm.

Random notes: November 9, 2010.

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

The Ohr-O’Keefe Museum of Art opened in Biloxi, Mississippi on Monday.

Here’s a nice photo of the museum. Can you guess who designed it?

When Mr. Gehry’s massive, titanium-clad Guggenheim Museum opened in Bilbao, Spain, in 1997, thousands of art tourists helped revive that dying industrial town.

Later buildings by Mr. Gehry have not had the same effect.

Looking over Wikipedia’s list of completed Gehry buildings, I don’t see a lot of post-1997 that were designed with that intent. The only two I really see as being possible tourist attractions are the Experience Music Project and the Walt Disney Concert Hall; everything else seems to be corporate, college campus, or medical. That just seems like a pointless shot by the NYT.

The University of Texas has acquired Spalding Gray’s archives. I know that Mike the Musicologist is going “squee” with delight at this news.

I also know some folks who tried to go to the “Gypsy Picnic Food Trailer Festival” on Saturday. Their experience was very much like John Kelso’s.

If you wanted something to eat, it would have been quicker to sit on the corner with a tin cup, collect change and grab a tuna sandwich at a convenience store. Or bag a possum and build a fire.

D-I-V-O-R-C-E…

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

Now Mr. Musk, who is in the middle of a divorce, says his account is empty. Actually, less than empty. He says he invested his last cent in his businesses and is living off loans from his wealthy friends. He subsists, according to court filings, on $200,000 a month and still flies his private jet.

I’m sorry I don’t have more time to blog about the founder of PayPal, but I’ve got to run off now and download the latest set of patches for the world’s tiniest open source violin.

March madness.

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

I’m picking Gonzaga to go all the way.

Mostly because I like saying “Gonzaga”. Say it three times fast. “Gonzaga. Gonzaga. Gonzaga.”

Also, completely unrelated to basketball, I’m going to go on the record as saying I think the Chicago Cubs are going to win the World Series this year.

Edited to add: I’m documenting here that Lawrence has bet me $5 that the Cubs won’t win. Otherwise, I’ll forget.

Edited to add 2: Lawrence is also taking the field against Gonzaga for another $5. Gonzaga. Gonzaga. Gonzaga.

Edited to add 3: I owe Lawrence $5. Gonzaga!

It’s a long way to the top if you wanna polka.

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m a libertarian  (well, 99 44/100ths percent libertarian). For that reason, I fully support the arrest and prosecution of people who make polka videos; I believe the production of said videos violates the non-aggression axiom, much like the production of bagpipe recordings.

(Hattip: Balko.)