The NYT got around to covering the “Buckyballs” story. I put “Buckyballs” in quotes because there are actually other manufacturers involved.
And this is priceless:
Ms. Lopez’s child “swallowed four Buckyballs in March while pretending to have a pierced tongue”. Her daughter is 12.
Did you know that the promo code SUCKITGROUPON will get you 45% off your Buckyballs order from getbuckyballs.com?
I didn’t, either, until I saw it on Overlawyered. I already got my first set of Buckyballs, but I just ordered some more: this time, I got some BuckyBigs, so I can pretend to be Captain Queeg while I’m sitting at my desk.
(Note that I have no financial relationship with the BuckyBalls people; I just want the CPSC to die in a fire.)
In other news, the Germans have shipped my USB TV receiver.
Alberto Gutierrez was married to Mayela Gutierrez Gil. The relationship was somewhat rocky, and Mr. and Mrs. Gutierrez decided to divorce.
The divorce itself was somewhat unpleasant. Mr. Gutierrez was charged with “making criminal threats, stalking and two counts of disobeying a domestic relations court order”. The stalking charge was dismissed by a judge, who also threw out one of the two counts of disobeying a court order. Mr. Gutierrez was acquitted by a jury on the other counts.
So what? Well, it seems that Mrs. Gutierrez was romantically involved with Detective Phillip Solano of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.
Mr. Gutierrez sued LACSO, detective Solano, and another LACSO deputy, Russell Verduzco. Verduzco was accused of “conspiring with Solano to cover up evidence that showed Gutierrez’s wife was in fact the one making threats against him.”
The jury awarded Mr. Gutierrez $457,500.
The Consumer Product Safety Commission is trying to ban Buckyballs? Because a bunch of stupid kids swallowed Buckyballs, a product that isn’t even marketed for children?
Screw those losers at the CPSC. I’m ordering a set for myself now, while I still can.
And what will Woot do, without Buckyballs to sell?
Not “you people” as in my regular readers. I’m sure you’re all tall, strong, above average in IQ, and every one of your bodily functions smells like a vanilla Glade plug-in.
No, I’m talking about the rest of the Internet who doesn’t read my blog and seems to be overrun with a massive sense of entitlement.
Item 1: The existence of the GR Bullies site. “GR Bullies” is apparently a website devoted to combating “bullying” on the GoodReads website (for values of “bullying” that seem to include posting negative reviews) by…acting like misogynistic bullies themselves. Good plan, guys; I’m sure Big Fred Nietzsche would approve. Or maybe not. I commend to your attention the take of John Scalzi, an actual professional writer who gets bad reviews from time to time, on this subject. (I also recommend reading the other three writers Scalzi links.)
Item 2: The existence of ChickLitGirls, a site that takes money for reviews, only posts positive reviews, and, when it is politely suggested that their pay-for-review policy may not be 100% clear, issues bumptious lawsuit threats.
(“bumptious”. Such a great word. I need to work that into my vocabulary, along with “gargantuan“.)
Item 3: “How dare you think Dark Knight Rises isn’t the greatest thing since the invention of fire?”
Item 4: “…those like my son who have disabilities have the right to live life with access to everything people who aren’t handicapped do.” So, therefore, Netflix is obligated to closed-caption streaming video. And, no, providing closed-captioned DVDs isn’t good enough. I am so sick and tired of hearing people like Ellen Seidman talk about “rights” without making a distinction between liberty rights and claim rights.
There are some things that should require accommodation; for example, access to governmental services. And it may be good business for Netflix to make this kind of accommodation. Right now, Netflix feels that it isn’t. (As other people have pointed out, Netflix gets the material it uses for streaming from studios, that material probably does not have closed captions, and the studios would be rightfully upset if Netflix started altering their property.) If you want to prove to Netflix that they’re wrong, don’t use the service, or start your own competing service with closed captions. If Netflix looses enough business, they’ll change their mind. But you don’t have a right to closed captioned streaming video, or, for that matter, to “access to everything people who aren’t handicapped do”. Down this path lies madness: should we build a wheelchair ramp to the top of Half Dome?
[Edited to add: Hattip on item 4 to Walter Olson at Overlawyered.]
Several years ago, my aunt and uncle came from Ohio to visit us.
Of course, we wanted to show them a good time while they were visiting. The weekend they were here, Fall Creek Vineyards (whose products I wholeheartedly endorse) was having their annual “grape stomp”.
Now, the grape stomp is a family event, so of course they want to have something for the kids. That year, they happened to have a petting zoo.
While we were there, a non-child (I’d estimate his age at mid-20s to early 30s) picked up a little piglet that was running around the petting zoo.
Bad idea. You could hear the piglet screaming for miles around. Ear-piercing screams. And worse yet, the gentleman in question seemed totally oblivious to the fact that this little piggy was squealing at a decibel level only matched by AC/DC concerts.
I sidled over to my aunt and said, under my breath, “Put. The. Pig. Down. And nobody gets hurt.”
From that point forward, “Put. The. Pig. Down.” has become a family code phrase for “Somebody needs to stop what they’re doing now“.
Why do I bring this up?
Put. The. Lamb. Down. Ed.
If you’re going to have cosmetic procedures done on your body, I recommend you seek out someone qualified to do so.
Generally, I think you’re best off with someone who has a degree from a medical school you’ve at least heard of (probably a member of the Association of American Medical Colleges) and ideally a board certification from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.
I know, you’re thinking I’m just a tool of Big Plastic Surgery, and there’s nothing wrong with getting your cosmetic enhancements at a bargain price. Hey, it’s your body, you can make your own decisions.
But I think we can all agree that getting your cosmetic enhancements from “a self-described hip-hop/goth/pop and funk musician” or your beautician is a bad idea. I’d also suggest that, if you’re going in for cosmetic enhancements, and you see your doctor using the same kind of superglue you can buy off the shelf at Walgreens: run.
Let us say, just for the sake of argument, that you are a police officer.
Let us say, also just for the sake of argument, that you like to go to bars in your off-duty hours and meet women (or men, depending on your particular gender bias).
Let us also say that you are at a bar one night, meet an attractive person of the appropriate gender, and you’d like to get their phone number and address.
Now, as a police officer, you have extraordinary access to look this kind of thing up. You may be tempted to make use of that access. You might want to wait until your next shift and then run your subject through police databases, the way the Mafia Cops did. If you’re desperate enough, you may think you can call up someone who is on duty, tell them you’re investigating a crime, and get information that way.
Yeah, that kind of desperate. Anyway, all of this may sound like a good idea at the time. It isn’t.
Because when the police department gets a complaint from the woman whose door you were banging on early in the morning, they are going to fire your ass.
Extra bonus point 1: It also doesn’t help if you’ve spent 10 months on suspension, with pay, while the police department looks into your relationship with an “unlicensed bounty hunter”.
Extra bonus point 2: Guess the city and police department. Go on, guess.
I’m not generally a big fan of Justice Department supervision of police departments, but Spokane is starting to look like a place that needs adult supervision for their police department. Or maybe they just need to fire everyone and let the National Guard police the city while they rebuild the department from scratch?
How stupid do you have to be to test positive for five banned substances?
Obit watch: Robert Hegyes, best known as Juan Epstein on “Welcome Back, Kotter”. (FARK already did the “Epstein’s Mother” joke so I don’t have to.)
Hmmmmm hmmmmm hmmmmm. A “reality television” show. I wonder what show that could be. Actually, I don’t wonder: I took a guess as soon as I saw the headline. Anyone want to play along? I’ll put this behind a jump…
If you dine out, in a sit-down restaurant, where someone actually brings food to your table, you should leave a reasonable tip.
I’m generally on the side of 15% as a base, though what I do in practice is double the sales tax. (Local sales tax around Austin is generally 8.25%, so that’s actually 16.5%.) I will tip 20% or 25% if I have a good reason to. I’m not as bothered by an 18% mandatory gratuity on large parties as I used to be; if the definition of a large party meets mine (five people is not large; seven+ is) and if they go above and beyond in some way (splitting the ticket six or seven ways for a party of seven, to me, justifies at least 18%).
In any case, I strongly recommend against a 200%+ tip, especially if you’re on an expense account.
Because if you’re on an expense account and turn in a receipt that shows you tipped the waitress at Hooter’s $24.52 for a mushroom cheeseburger that cost $7.48, somebody in the accounting department is going to ask questions. And eventually they’re going to find out that you tipped the waitress $24.52 to cover your bar tab, since your city expense account doesn’t cover alcohol.
(The heck of it is, I think the city policy is unreasonable. It doesn’t bother me that much for a couple of off-duty cops dining out of town to have a beer or two with their meals, and have the city pay for it. As long as they don’t get messed up and embarrass the city, say, by having the waitress pose with their patrol rifle, I don’t get hot and bothered by adults having a beer. But if they knew city policy was otherwise, and they lied about it because they were too cheap to pay their own bar tab, yeah, fire their butts.)
(If you’re not on an expense account, the above doesn’t apply to you. Feel free to tip the waitress 200%. Or 300%. Or 500%. But keep in mind; she’s not going to sleep with you, no matter how much you tip her.)
You couldn’t have found a better beer to steal, as long as you were stealing beer? I think we can make this a general rule of thumb: if it comes in a 30-pack, it isn’t worth screwing up the rest of your life for.
Also, what is up with that guy in the middle’s face?
You know, if you run a restaurant, it only makes sense to buy your food – things like meat – from respected restaurant suppliers, such as Texas Meat Purveyors (not the bluegrass band, the restaurant supply house). I’m not saying you have to purchase your meat from them specifically, but you should at least purchase your meat from someone with a license and reputation, not from sketchy people on the street.
I know, I know, this is obvious, why do I feel compelled to say this? Some folks didn’t get the memo, that’s why.
The APD conducted a sting operation today that resulted in five arrests, warrants for two more arrests, and the closure of three restaurants. (The article says six arrests, but I only count five names on their list. Likewise, it states three people are at large, but names only two. Edited to add 7/29/2011: the Statesman updated the article late last night with the correct numbers.) It appears that a ring of folks were stealing meat from HEB…
The restaurants had their health permits revoked, and
The three restaurants in question are:
It’s kind of interesting to see that, of the seven people named, three have the first name of “Willie”. Do you have to change your name to “Willie” to work at a barbecue joint in this town? (Only two of them work for Willie’s Bar-B-Que: Willie Joe Showels and Willie Joe Showels III. Yes, I do wonder about Willie Joe Showels II. The third Willie, Willie Don Mays, worked for Sam’s.)
Bruce Cockburn’s “If I Had a Rocket Launcher”, which can best be summarized as “I want peace and justice, and I’m willing to blow people up with a rocket launcher to get it.”
So what brings this to mind?
Here’s a (warning! Slideshow!) “gallery” (warning! Slideshow!) of the seized weapons, which include “numerous firearms, including shotguns, semi-automatic shotguns, rifles, handguns and even a rocket launcher.” Oh, my, shotguns and semi-automatic shotguns!
It looks to me like the cops seized a slightly beat up Browning A-5, and I can’t tell for sure what all else. It looks like there’s at least one older double gun in there as well, and maybe one or two revolvers on that pistol rug. (These are, frankly, really crappy photos. Thanks, Chron.)
The photo of the “rocket launcher'” isn’t half-bad, though. Several of the Chron commenters speculate that the “rocket launcher” in question is actually a spent or demilled LAWS launcher, of the sort you can easily find on the surplus market. I don’t have enough experience to be sure about that; if any of my readers know for sure, please leave me a comment or drop me a line.
(Feel free to comment or drop me a line as well if you dispute my “dumbest song ever” statement, but please be prepared to discuss your own personal choice for “dumbest song ever”.)