Sorry for the late update, folks. I was away for computers most of the day yesterday.
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
None.
Cleveland’s long nightmare is over. My relatives are happy. And thus endeth the loser update for 2012. (I need to go back through my records, but I don’t recall there being no teams without a win this early in the season.)
The LAT is reporting the death of Alex Karras. More later.
There is a quote, commonly attributed to Albert Einstein, (but probably apocryphal, at least in this form) “Make things as simple as possible, but no simpler.”
There is another quote, commonly attributed to an anonymous actor in a commercial, “I’m not a doctor. But I play one on TV.”
What do those have to do with this week’s TMQ? After the jump…
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
Cleveland
I had the Cleveland game going on the background while I puttered around the kitchen and read FARK and Briarpatch
Speaking of playing smarter, I think I’m going to have to add the Chargers to my list of “most consistently overrated teams in the NFL”. Seriously, how do you lose to the Saints, even with the whole Brees record thing?
Before we jump into this week’s column, here’s a totally inappropriate 80’s flashback for you.
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
Cleveland
New Orleans
Houston The Houston Astros is are at 53-106, for a .333 winning percentage. With three games left, they’re not going to lose 110, but they have tied last year’s record number of losses, and it looks like they’re on track to break that record.
Edited to add: Since I am editing this post anyway (thanks, Lawrence) I’ll mention this HouChron article pointing out that you can get tickets for tonight’s game against the Cubs for “as low as 75 cents”. I haven’t checked to see what tickets for other MLB teams are going for on StubHub, which is why I hesitated to do a post.
Edited to add 2: And Lawrence sent me a link to that HouChron article as well, so he gets a hattip, even though I didn’t see his email before I added the ETA.
Ben Sprecher is a theatrical producer. Most of his work has been off-Broadway, but he’s trying to put on a Broadway musical version of “Rebecca”. (I know what you’re thinking, but according to the NYT, this was done in Vienna in 2006, and played well.)
Anyway, Mr. Sprecher estimates that he needs $12 million for this. Mr. Sprecher had an investor – a man named Paul Abrams – who was putting up $4.5 million. That’s a lot of money for one person to invest in a Broadway show. But wait, it gets better!
But wait, it gets even better: Mr. Sprecher never met or spoke to Mr. Abrams at all. There are questions as to whether Mr. Abrams ever even existed.
Mr. Sprecher is trying to raise money to fill the gap. But if he fails and the musical doesn’t open, he’s on the hook to his other investors.
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, bat cave!
Obit watch: Edwin Wilson. Remember Edwin Wilson? Former CIA guy? Convicted of shipping plastic explosives to Libya? Spent 20 years in prison?
Yeah. That guy.
Debacle? That seems strong. But I didn’t watch the game. “Debacle” may not be strong enough.
Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do? Well, they can register domains. But Donuts, Inc. has close ties to Demand Media…
The current theory on convicted sex offender and fugitive from justice Prakashanand Saraswati seems to be that he’s in India now, having been spirited out of the country by his followers. And the US Marshals don’t have an office in India.
Maybe they could send some BATF guys from Reno to India.
I really hate to say this, but I’m starting to think Cleveland has a good shot at going 0-16 this year. And they lost to the Bills, which makes it even more painful…
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
Cleveland
New Orleans
The Astros are at 50-103, for a .327 winning percentage. This is projecting out to 109 losses. Put another way, they’d have to win three out of the last nine games, or go .333, to avoid 110 losses.
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
Cleveland
Kansas City
Jacksonville
New Orleans
Tennessee
Oakland
The Astros, believe or not, seem to be on a winning streak (having won their last two games) and are currently 48-99, for a .327 winning percentage. This projects out to 109 losses.
First TMQ of the new season. What can we say: we’ve got high hopes.
After the jump, oops, there goes another rubber tree plant…
We are back, baby! Like that toenail fungus you just can’t get rid of.
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
New York Football Giants
Indianapolis
Cleveland
St. Louis
Miami
Kansas City
Jacksonville
New Orleans
Buffalo
Tennessee
Carolina
Green Bay
Seattle
Pittsburgh
Cincinnati
Oakland
And as we draw ever closer to the end of the long national nightmare that is baseball season, the Houston Astros are 44-97, with a .312 winning percentage. This projects out to 111 losses.
(As best as I can tell, the Astros have been mathematically eliminated from any possibility of post-season play. The Chicago Cubs have an extremely long shot at a wild card slot, still. I don’t think this is going to happen, but they haven’t technically been mathematically eliminated, so I don’t have to pay off Lawrence. Yet.)
Art Modell, perhaps the single most hated man in Cleveland.
Once again, TMQ’s all-haiku predictions roll around. Let’s jump in and listen for the splash of water…
