Archive for the ‘NFL’ Category

Your NFL loser update: week 15, 2016

Sunday, December 18th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

That takes care of one of the two games I was most concerned about. Still to come:

  • San Diego in Cleveland
  • at Pittsburgh

I’m worried a little about the San Diego game, but I’m pretty confident in Pittsburgh’s ability to beat the Browns at home.

In semi-related news, ESPN is claiming that Rex Ryan is going to be shown the door in Buffalo. It sounds like this isn’t going to happen until Bloody Monday, though.

In other news, the Texans benched their starting quarterback, Brock Osweiler (seriosuly) in favor of Beat PunchBeef Tom Savage (also seriously). Also also seriously, Savage actually engineered a comeback for the Texans, who ended up winning 21-20 over Jacksonville. Granted, Jacksonville is 2-12. so it isn’t like the Texans were playing the first team here, but Brock turned the ball over twice and put Jacksonville up 13-0 before he was benched.

(Isn’t “Brock” one of the most preppy names you can think of? “Hi, Brock, it’s Biff. I was going down to the club with Muffy and Buffy, and wanted to know if you’d like to join us. Maybe we could play doubles and have some white wine spritzers after? Sure, that would be swell, Brock. See you there.” On the other hand, “Tom Savage” strikes me as the kind of name a quarterback should have. It’d also be a great name for a series of children’s books: “Tom Savage and the Improbable Comeback”, “Tom Savage and the New Offensive Coordinator”. “Tom Savage and the Contract Negotiation”…)

Murum Aries Attigit.

Monday, December 12th, 2016

Jeff Fisher out as head coach of the Los Angeles Rams.

The Rams are 4-9 so far this season. Fisher was 31-45-1 overall with the Rams (including their pre-LA incarnation).

Fisher has a career record of 173-165-1. He is tied with Dan Reeves for the most losses by a coach in NFL history.

Actual headline on a column in the LAT:

Rams’ return to L.A. is officially an embarrassment. Coach Jeff Fisher needs to go — now

Hey, remember when all the NFL talk was about how LA desperately needed a NFL team, and how wonderful things would be when LA got a NFL team, and how much the league and the city would benefit from a NFL team? Wasn’t that a time.

(Hattop on the title to First Amendment badass Marc Randazza, who didn’t originate the term (as he makes clear) but is the person who introduced me to it. He would probably want to punch me in the face for using it in this context, but I couldn’t pass up a little bit of wordplay.)

Your NFL loser update: week 14, 2016

Sunday, December 11th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

Three games left:

  • at Buffalo (currently 6-7)
  • San Diego (currently 5-8) in Cleveland
  • at Pittsburgh (currently 8-5, and already beat Cleveland in Cleveland earlier this season)

I still wouldn’t bet this way, but I think it is at least possible that Cleveland could win one or two of these games.

Your NFL loser update: weeks 12 and 13, 2016

Sunday, November 27th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

The Browns have a bye in week 13, which is why this is a combined update.

After that, they play at home against the Bengals, on the road in Buffalo, at home against San Diego, and on the road in Pittsburgh. Three out of four of these teams are basically mediocre, and the Bengals are bad, so it’s still possible for the Browns to pull out a couple of wins. I wouldn’t bet that way, but it is possible…

Your NFL loser update: week 11, 2016

Sunday, November 20th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

Unfortunately, since my last loser update, Philadelphia has managed to win three games: there are no longer any NBA teams that have a shot of going 0-82.

Lawrence sent along this interesting piece from Battle Red Blog that goes into detail about Cleveland’s losing streak. Short version: the author thinks they’ve got a shot at going 0-16, and that this is a good thing. They’ve got high draft choices and are making all the right moves to rebuild.

I’d like for him to be right, but: who have the Browns used their high draft choices on in the past? And how did that work out for them?

Your NFL loser update: week 10, 2016

Friday, November 11th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:

Philadelphia

Your NFL loser update: week 9, 2016

Monday, November 7th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

Maybe there’s something to be said for the theory that rising baseball fortunes are tied to falling football fortunes and vice versa.

Lawrence suggested that I also do an NBA loser update, now that the season has started. My response: “The season has started?”

Okay, okay. NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:

Philadelphia
New Orleans

Also: all gambling debts have been paid, in front of witnesses. There’s even photo documentation, which may be posted later.

Edited to add: Photographic proof.

img_0755-1.jpg

Norv!

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

Norv Turner out as offensive coordinator of the Minnesota Vikings.

This is being presented as a “resignation”, and it may very well be one. It just seems weird and noteworthy.

Your NFL loser update: week 8, 2016

Sunday, October 30th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

But hey, the Indians are doing well. Indeed, it seems like there’s a very good chance that I’ll end up owing Lawrence $5…

Your NFL loser update: week 7, 2016.

Sunday, October 23rd, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

Fun fact I didn’t realize until today: the Browns do not have a bye until week 13. This seems strange, especially since there are no teams with a bye in week 12.

Your NFL loser update: week 6, 2016.

Monday, October 17th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

Don’t have anything witty or profound or perceptive to add here.

Your NFL loser update: week 5, 2016.

Sunday, October 9th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

At this point in 2015, there was only one team left in contention for the Owen Sixteen trophy. At this point in 2014, there were only two teams left standing (and one had a bye that week.)

Do the Browns have a shot? Ask me again in week eight.

Your NFL loser update: week 4, 2016.

Monday, October 3rd, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

At some point, I’m thinking I should post an analysis of the loser update. I want to say that I have fairly ready access to about ten years worth of data: I’d like to do an actual breakdown of, on average, how many teams remain standing at each point in the season.

I’ve also been thinking, based on a comment from Lawrence, about doing a breakdown of time between winning national championship and getting fired for college coaches, but that may require more work.

Your NFL loser update: week 3, 2016.

Tuesday, September 27th, 2016

Damn. I knew I was forgetting something. Late start this morning. Sorry

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
Jacksonville
Chicago
New Orleans

We’re starting to get down to it now. Only four teams left standing. For personal reasons, I hate to think Cleveland has the best shot at the Owen Sixteen trophy, but objectively it is starting to look that way.

I’m a little surprised Easterbrook hasn’t held forth on the football gods waxing wrothful against the Saints, or something like that. But the season is still young.

(And there’s still no word I’ve seen on TMQ this year.)

Your NFL loser update: week 2, 2016.

Tuesday, September 20th, 2016

Down to it.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Miami
Buffalo
Cleveland
Jacksonville
Indianapolis
Washington
Chicago
New Orleans

I had hopes for the LA Rams this year: I think it would have been delightful to see the NFL return to Los Angeles and go 0-16. Sadly, that didn’t pan out. So who’s left? I’m still thinking Jacksonville has a good shot at the goal.