Whipped Cream Difficulties

“But the name of the game is be hit and hit back…”

—Warren Zevon, “Boom Boom Mancini”

I come up with a word count of 9,215 words in this week’s “Tuesday Morning Quarterback” column. Of those, I count 1,701 (about 18%) devoted to this week’s helmet to helmet hits and the NFL concussion problem. (I’m not counting the additional concussion material in the reader comments.)

I don’t want to seem like I’m dismissing TMQ’s emphasis on the problem. I agree with his main points; the NFL doesn’t penalize dangerous play, the sports media actively praises dangerous play, and things aren’t going to get better until the NFL cracks down. And I would much rather see him hammering on player safety than on the “blur” offense. The problem, though, is that these points have been made by pretty much everyone, starting with Rodney Harrison on Sunday. Now, TMQ is just preaching to the choir. I think it’s fair to ask TMQ to go beyond preaching.

Gee, isn’t it interesting that Boise State is ranked third, and TCU fifth, in the first BCS standings? Which leads to the possibility that the two schools will play each other in a bowl game, instead of each school playing another school from one of the conferences that automatically qualifies for a bowl?

Who names their child “Jocey”? I’m impressed by the fact that she’s a public defender, which shows she has some intellectual heft. Out of deference for the sensibilities of my mother, who is known to read this blog, I will refrain from commenting on her other assets.

Sweet and sour plays: New England – Baltimore, Green Bay – Miami, Baltimore – New England, Detroit – Giants, Kansas City – Houston.

More creep.

Speaking of endowments (see Jocey above), another of TMQ’s obsessions is that rich people should stop giving money to Ivy League schools. TMQ’s belief is that the Ivy League schools already have enough money, and that the rich should concentrate on giving to schools like Morehouse, where their money might actually make a difference. Here’s the Vanity Fair article on the fate of Harvard’s endowment.

“Adventures in Officiating”. Favre Favre Farve. “Friday Night Lights”. You know something? I’m sick and tired of hearing about “Friday Night Lights” and how it’s “the best show nobody is watching”. I don’t watch it because I. Don’t. Freaking. Care. Stop trying to ram it down my throat.

Christmas creep. Coach creep. Martz watch.

While WCD appreciates TMQ’s willingness to cover the latest developments in the world of astrophysics, we are getting a little tired of Easterbrook’s constant repetition that “humanity so far knows about 1 percent of what can be known”. Really, Gregg, we get it. So do most of the professional scientists we’re aware of.

Colts run the blur offense, Redskins run the Times Square defense. Chicken-<salad> punts: Baltimore and Dallas.

Offensive linemen. Still. WCD is starting to get offended.

Nick Saban doesn’t like agents who pay college players; he compares them to “pimps”. TMQ points out that the current scandals involve “relatively small” amounts of money. TMQ also calls Saban a “hypocrite” for suggesting that college football “throw the NFL out”, since college football programs “depend on the illusion that most players will make the NFL”. Finally, TMQ asks: how is a college football coach whose program only graduates 55% of the players who come in any better than a pimp?

“Wasteful spending on bodyguards” continues with yet another shot at Rick Perry.

“Dallas is on a 1-5 streak and seeming to play dumber every week.”

Lindenwood 90, Culver-Stockton 19. Trinity (Texas) 17, Sewanee 3.

Reader comments: Saints, free kicks, and concussions.

And, finally, “many readers with good memories” commented that Easterbrook forgot to run his 1972 Miami Dolphins item after the Kansas City loss, so he runs it this week. The Dolphins item is my single biggest yearly annoyance with TMQ.

First of all, it’s lazy writing. Literally, lazy writing; Easterbrook brags about how he has the entire paragraph in his Microsoft Word AutoText, and plans to keep it there “because no NFL team’s going to go 19-0”. I’d root for the Detroit Lions to go 19-0, if it would just shut TMQ the heck up.

Second of all, it’s wrong. Wrong wrong wrongity wrong. I can’t believe readers haven’t written in and told Easterbrook this; it’s on freakin’ Snopes, for crying out loud! Given the amount of time and space Easterbrook devotes to bashing other non-fiction authors and publishers, it seems odd that he continues to knowingly and willfully repeat this error.

Tune in next week. Hopefully, we won’t have any NFL players die on the field between now and next Tuesday.