Bagatelle (#138)

“Justified” is full of timeless wisdom about how one should lead their life.

One of the best examples of this is Raylan’s Rule:

Raylan Givens: Any problem, that’s someone else’s fault. You ever hear of the saying, “You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole”?

Another good example of this:

Art Mullen: I got a call this morning from AUSA David Vasquez. Wants to talk to you about you shooting Boyd Crowder.
Raylan Givens: What’s there to talk about? He pulled first. There was a witness.
Art Mullen: But you see, ten days ago you shot a man in Miami. Put it like this: you were in the first grade; bit a kid every week? They’d start to think of you as a biter.

“They’d start to think of you as a biter.” What brings this to mind?

A summer associate at white-shoe firm Sidley Austin began biting colleagues and roaring at them on her first day — and by the time she was canned, her body count had reached double digits, insiders told the legal news site Above the Law.
The bites were not “in an aggressive, ‘we’re beefing’ way” – but rather, “a faux-quirky manic pixie dream girl crossed with the Donner party vibe,” the outlet reported.
“Though I’ve seen pics of the results post-Biglaw Biter, and ‘nibble’ is probably too tame a word,” the article’s author noted.

A jaw-dropping account of the chomping spree posted to X said the girl sank her teeth into 10 colleagues, including other summer interns, associate lawyers and even an HR rep at the firm’s Seventh Avenue offices.

The firm declined to comment. But an insider told The Post the intern bit only five employees and that exaggerations were now flooding the internet.

2 Responses to “Bagatelle (#138)”

  1. Ranger says:

    She would have only buy me once. Then she would have been looking for dental repair…

  2. stainles says:

    As satisfying as it might be to give Bitey McBigLaw high cause to see a periodontal reconstructionist, I feel like punching someone, even with case, probably leads to a “resume generating event” (RGE). I wish it wasn’t that way, and I absolutely believe biting someone justifies a good punch in the mouth. But HR people…

    On the other hand, if I were a HR person, biting someone would be an automatic RGE. Even once. I can see some circumstances where, maybe, if Bitey sincerely apologized and promised never to do it again, maybe let them off with probation and the understanding that if they cause any more problems, the company will see how far they bounce when they hit the sidewalk.

    More than one bite? Yeah. That should be a firing and “not eligible” for rehire.

    Lawrence suggested that Bitey might be a relative of a partner, or a member of a protected class. Either or both of those might explain why she was allowed to get up to a double digit body count.