Oh, look! TMQ got us a Christmas present. To quote John Gruber (who is actually quoting Norm MacDonald): “Happy birthday, Jesus. Hope you like crap.”
After the jump, what we’ve been dreading all year…
But first, TMQ’s Christmas present to us is a NFL parody song set to “The 12 Days of Christmas”. We can acknowledge that the State Street Singers are reasonably talented and sound good. At the same time, we can also state that this is a really stupid song.
“Why would anyone want a partridge in a pear tree for Christmas?” Them’s good eating, Gregg.
“For the Colts the equation is simple: They want the first choice in the 2012 draft.” Do they? Does anyone know?
Why did the Packers lose? TMQ blames the “(relatively) lightweight Green Bay” defensive line, which is designed to stop the pass.
And, of course, TMQ once again pulls his 1972 Miami Dolphins item out of AutoText. And, once again, we will point out that it is wrong wrong wrongity wrong. The item is even debunked in another column currently running on ESPN’s website! We would think, at this point, that a polite word to the ESPN Ombudsman would be in order, but ESPN outsourced their ombudsman services to the worthless Poynter Institute a while back.
What’s up with Becky’s aura? Kirlian photography?
Sweet and sour: Saints-Vikings, Denver-New England, Arizona-Cleveland, Oakland-Detroit, Carolina-Houston.
Oh, my. TMQ actually admitted an error and apologized. Specifically, TMQ (and ESPN in another article) were wrong about the “quarterback cannot be hit on a change of possession” rule (which we also noted last week).
Speaking of which, you can now download the rulebook.
Every sperm is sacred. Creep.
“What Should Rocky Get for Christmas?” We’d suggest a nice bone from the butcher. Or a box of bacon-flavored dog treats.
Revisiting the Sports Illustrated/CBS News investigation from last year, it appears that “Top 25 football players are not just less likely to be arrested than similar-aged American males, they are much less likely to be arrested.” At least according to the recent NYT report.
High-speed rail in the United States is f–ing stupid. (Except in certain very limited corridors. Washington-Boston yes: San Francisco – L.A. no.)
Wacky disclaimer: Santa depicted is not the actual Santa.
“Who Looks This Stuff Up?” Answer: ESPN, the NFL Network, CBS, FOX, and NBC all pay teams of people to look this stuff up, Gregg.
Tebow. Not funny. Blitzes. What is the “weird disclaimer” TMQ is talking about? Did the Jets even try to win?
“…if the Browns claim, sideline conditions were too confused from them to realize McCoy was showing concussion symptoms — then the NFL in-game medical protocols simply don’t work.” And why is James Harrison “determined to make people dislike him”?
Da Bears. Readers write: weasel coaches. “Now all hell can get on TV is an endless loop replay of ‘The Best of Woody Harrelson.'” You know, we were just thinking about that the other day: we remember him being good on “Cheers” before he went crazy.
“…a prep team that almost never punts, including routinely going for it on fourth down deep in its own territory”. “Pulaski almost always deliberately punts out of bounds, which TMQ advocates.” So they don’t punt, but when they punt, they punt out of bounds? We”ll have a Dos Equis please.
“Sure last week the Texans made the playoffs for the first time in franchise history. But what have you done for us lately?” Not won a championship, Gregg. Or even gone to the Super Bowl. At least the Rockets have won championships, and the Astros have gone to the World Series. The Texans haven’t even won a playoff game yet.
TMQ seems to have dropped the cold cheerleader obsession, at least this week, but replaced it with a cold coach obsession. Tampa Bay quit early against the Cowboys.
Wisconsin Whitewater 13, Mount Union 10. Pittsburg of Kansas 35, Wayne State 21. Go Sam Houston State!
“The age, size, grandeur and likely longevity of the universe cannot be overstated. Who can say what the ultimate purpose of the cosmic enterprise may be?” We at WCD can: we believe the ultimate purpose of the cosmic enterprise is to provide us with Hot Wheels cars that have built in video cameras. Or nekkid pictures of Zooey Deschanel: we’re flexible on that point.
“Happy holidays.” Right back at you, Gregg. For all of our complaining, we do find TMQ to be a highlight of our week. Perhaps this says something about how pathetic we are.
Tune in next week. If we’re lucky, we’ll hear about Rocky’s Christmas presents. If we’re unlucky, we’ll hear about Rocky’s Christmas presents.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you once follow Poynter fairly closely yourself? Even have it on the blogroll?
I followed Jim Romenesko’s MediaNews, which was hosted by Poynter, pretty closely. It was the only worthwhile thing I ever found on Poynter.
Jim Romenesko and Poynter had a falling-out back in November. Romenesko’s side of the story is here. And the current link to Jim Romenesko goes to his non-Poynter site.