This week in TMQ: the Chronic-what-les of Narnia?
No, we’re not kidding. And we’re not going to call Gregg Easterbrook Aaron Burr, either. After the jump…
We really were serious. Gregg Easterbrook devotes the first 488 words of his column this week to an extended C.S. Lewis analogy, in which the Indianapolis Colts are Narnia, Tony Dungy is Aslan, and Peyton Manning is Peter the High King, “tall, brave, and humble—just like Manning”. It was at this point that we threw up.
Let’s wait and see how Cam Newton does against the Packers. TMQ throws props to Ryan Fitzpatrick and pokes fun at his Harvard background. TMQ apparently thinks there’s something amusing about football players who went to Harvard, and trots out the stale sherry references. Funny thing is, thanks to Fitzpatrick, the Bills are now 1-0, and TMQ predicted that they’d go 2-14…
Does the new spot help kick returns?
Stephanie doesn’t do much for us, but that’s not really a good photo either.
Sweet and sour plays: blocked punts, Carolina blitzes, and Green Bay/New Orleans.
TMQ still thinks it is “Regret the Error“. Two-tone turf. Stop waving the ball around before you reach the end zone. Christmas creep.
Sci-fi TV bashing: “Fringe” is silly, “Falling Skies” is lame, and “Stargate Universe” improved vastly after it was cancelled.
Did the Redskins play real defense because they finally dumped Albert Haynesworth, or because “Chainsaw Dan” Snyder finally dumped his silly lawsuit against the Washington City Paper?
Shirtless male cheer-hunks. Football gods. Jacksonville executes the “lose cheap” strategy. “…why not have on-air real-time fact checking during presidential debates?”
New tactics: tight ends as wide receivers, jumping and shouting before the snap. “The Raiders will become a contender if they show they can prevail outside the AFC West.” And if they drive a stake into Al Davis’ heart. Meanwhile, New England ran the “blur offense” down Miami’s throat.
“TMQ Readers Know Too Much (New Running Item)“. No comment.
The Roy Williams trade didn’t go well for Detroit. Or Dallas.
“You probably wish you attended a summer camp that costs $198 a day.” Well, that depends on what you get to do there, Gregg. If you get to blow stuff up, hell to the yes. If you’re just sitting around making s’mores and being bitten by bugs, no. “The average Yale undergrad pays 70 percent of the list price, or $165 per day — less than for a high-end summer camp.” And how many days is that Yale price amortized over? And how does Yale’s endowment compare to the average summer camp’s?
Randy Moss: Hall of Fame or no Hall of Fame? “Fourth down, knock it down.” According to Brown University, “running backs receive the hardest blows to the head, while linemen and linebackers are hit in the head most often”.
The football gods are so busy chortling, it is a wonder they have time to interfere in the affairs of mortals. Leave it to TMQ to propose another reform that has no chance of being implemented: “mandate that coaching contracts reward graduation rates rather than wins”. More creep. Why is Hawaii paying $4 million to the NFL to host the Pro Bowl? And why is the NFL taking the money? And are these actual cash payments, or the estimated value of services that would otherwise be provided anyway?
Lawrence Lindsey and the interest rate time bomb.
Elizabeth City 49, Limestone 7. Campbell 76, Apprentice 0.
Tune in next week when, if we’re lucky, Peyton Manning gets eaten by one of “Terra Nova”‘s dinosaurs.
[…] Hey, it makes about as much sense as last week’s extended Narnia analogy. […]