We’ve got questions.

I was going to leave this as a comment on Lawrence’s blog, but then I thought it’d be more fun here.

Sadly, it turns out that the gold toilet exists, but it didn’t belong to Yanukovych. Here’s another example, just to motivate discussion. Anyway, questions:

1. Why a gold toilet? I admit, I’m not exactly the dictator type, or even the guy with more money than sense type. But I’m thinking, if I have that much money, I just don’t see the utility of a gold toilet. I’d rather have one of those fancy Japanese toilets, though I’d think about disabling Bluetooth on it first.

2. Where do you go to get a gold toilet? Is this something that’s commonly stocked in plumbing supply stores in Kiev? I’m guessing this is a special order item, but who do you order it from? I didn’t turn up any on Amazon. Do you perhaps get a goldsmith to make one for you? And do you trust your plumbing to a goldsmith, rather than experts? Like an actual plumber and a company that specializes in making toilets? This seems to me to be another argument for going Japanese with your high-end plumbing.

3. How do you clean a gold toilet? Do conventional bowl cleaners attack the gold? Can you put those cleaning tablets in the tank? If you have a gold toilet, you’re probably not using a bowl brush you bought at the Dollar Tree, so where do you get a matching brush and other accessories? Perhaps you commission those with the toilet, so you get everything from the same source.

But all of this seems like a huge pain in the butt, frankly. Even if you are a dictator and have people to manage these things for you.

8 Responses to “We’ve got questions.”

  1. That gold toilet is fake. I think these might be the real article:

  2. And speaking of toilet seats, do you remember back when these were the rage? I remember them being sold in the same shops that sold those oil rain lamps

  3. stainles says:

    I only sort of vaguely remember those. Looking at eBay, I’m not willing to pay what appears to be the “new” price for one of those (I’m sorry, I don’t have $260 to spend on a toilet seat), and among the last things in the world I would buy off of eBay is a “used” toilet seat.

  4. ben says:

    A gold (or any metal) toilet seat would be cold. No thanks.

  5. stainles says:

    I can think of ways around that…

  6. ben says:

    Cover the gold plated seat in mink fur?

  7. stainles says:

    I was thinking more along the lines of a hot air blower or perhaps some type of inductive heating.