Darden, Darden, Darden…

The Olive Garden, Red Lobster and LongHorn Steakhouse parent lowered its profit and revenue projections for the quarter ended Nov. 25, blaming sour promotions in its eateries, Superstorm Sandy, its purchase of the Yard House USA chain and even its efforts to mitigate the coming costs of healthcare reform, also known as “Obamacare.”

Also blamed: global warming and the vertical integration of the broiler industry.

Mostly, though, we’re using this as a transparent excuse to link to the legendary tale of Red Lobster and the all-you-can-eat crab fiasco. It nearly put the chain out of business, but it also has provided us with laughs for the past decade.

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