TMQ: It’s money time in the NFL
What does that even mean? And why does TMQ feel compelled to start off with horse racing metaphors?
After the jump, this week’s TMQ (which you won’t be able to read in its entirety unless you subscribe to “All Predictions Wrong”, which is the actual title of Gregg Easterbrook’s Substack)…
The top contenders, reviewed.
What a shame the fantastic Ravens-Niners pairing is on Christmas Day, because millions of people – including your writer – won’t watch.
This is something we frankly don’t understand. That game is on at 7:15 PM according to ESPN. (We think that’s CST, but are not sure.) By 7:15 PM on Christmas Day, all the presents are opened and all the relatives have left, at least in our family. Watching football doesn’t seem like an offensive choice to us. Nor does reading the books we got for Christmas. But every family is unhappy in their own way.
The ‘Boys are undefeated at home but have a losing record on road; are 1-3 in “authentic” games versus winning teams.
Oh, Ghu. Not the “authentic games” crap again.
Taylor Swift is a wildcard for Kansas City fortunes. Her good vibes could turn sour as quickly as her relationships break up. Swift’s police-escort motorcades to and from Chiefs games – public money wasted so she can get publicity – are a little much.
Damn Taylor Swift! I wish I may never hear of Taylor Swift again!
TMQ’s top Christmas movies. To save you the trouble, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, “Love Actually”, “A Christmas Carol” (the 1951 British one), “Noel”, “Christmas in Connecticut”, “Christmas With You”.
TMQ’s top Christmas novels: “A Christmas Carol”, “Mr. Ives’s Christmas”.
In government handout news, the $1.3 billion the state of Virginia proposes to spend on a new sports complex for the NBA Wizards and NHL Capitals would be the largest taxpayer giveaway ever for professional sports.
Kind of depends on how you look at it, but in fairness to TMQ, the news about the Baltimore Orioles probably hadn’t broken when TMQ was writing. Still, this is a lousy deal, public money for pro sports teams stinks, and you should be reading “Field of Schemes”.
For the benefit of the football gods, synonyms for “chortle”.
Stats.
Sweet: Detroit, Kansas City, Atlanta. Sour: Jacksonville, Minnesota. Mixed: Carolina-Atlanta.
“All Predictions Wrong” was not wrong about coach firings.
293 words about the Dallas-Buffalo game and how good Buffalo is. We’re biased, but we’d rather read 300 words about why this seemed like a game Dallas didn’t even bother to show up for.
“Reverses” are not reverses, speaking of banging on the drum all day.
300 words on the “Reacher” Amazon series. We used to be fans of the novels, but have kind of checked out. (If we wanted to read Lee Child’s brother’s books, we’d buy them.) But at the same time, yes, the series does sound d-u-m-b. Why does there have to be a giant overarching conspiracy behind everything? There isn’t in the “Reacher” books. Or at least, if there is, it is definitively broken up (along with the people involved) by the end of the book.
The Giants are bad at sacking. Remember: pillage first, then burn.
“Best Purist Drive”: Indianapolis.
Costumes Are for Halloween. Tennessee once again played disguised as the Houston Oilers, with oil rigs on their helmets and Oilers logos painted in the end zones at Nashville. This didn’t work: the game was won by the actual Houston team, the Texans.
We were at lunch with some friends at a place that had big TVs and saw this. Our initial reaction was, “Cool! The Texans are wearing throwback uniforms!” Then we were informed that it was Tennessee who were wearing the “throwback” uniforms. At this point, we called for the public execution (ideally during halftime of the final Texans regular season game) of everyone who approved this idea.
If smiting lasts more than four hours, see your doctor.
“Bad Situational Football”: Philadelphia.
Brady, Vegas, gambling.
Chipotle once made a corporate commitment to using “only real ingredients.” What other kind of ingredients are there?
In that vein, we commend to you this recent episode of The Incomparable podcast covering “Soylent Green”, which the Saturday Movie Group watched last year.
Why is Northwestern University spending $800 million on a football stadium? 595 words down.
Obscure college scores are back! Without the score, though. We do want to note that the Colorado School of Mines offers an undergraduate explosive engineering minor.
We carry our bread in a bag. How about you?
Bad officiating: Pittsburgh – Indianapolis.
“Single Worst Play of the Season – So Far”: chicken-(salad) punting by the Chargers. That’s your worst play of the season so far, TMQ? That doesn’t even qualify for “worst play of the day”.
Sunday Christmas Special! On the 24th an ode to Christmas Eve, written by me, performed by professional actors and musicians. Not paywalled. It’s my holiday gift to the readers of this and all Substacks.
We’re feeling full of the Christmas spirit (three measures of Gordon’s gin, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, shaken until very cold and served over a large thin slice of lemon peel) so we’re not going to snark on this in advance. If we have time, we may try to cover this as a special TMQ Watch, but for people who don’t have to report back to work until January 8th, our schedule is shockingly packed.
Someone told us a few weeks ago “everyone knows you have a good heart”. To which we responded, “Yes, we keep it in a jar on our desk.”