“What you gonna do when you get out of jail?…” part 204

The plan for today’s video went out the window because I watched the video I was thinking about using. I won’t name it here, but it was from a channel I don’t usually watch, and was about a subject I thought would be amusing. Unfortunately, it turned out to be kind of draggy and more boring than I expected.

So, instead, I thought I’d fall back to some actual history today. I finished listening to “The History of Rome” a few weeks ago, and vacillated for a while about subscribing to “Revolutions“. Not because I didn’t like “The History of Rome”: I thoroughly enjoyed it, and commend it to your attention. But having cleared out my backlog of one podcast, did I want to immediately start a backlog of another podcast?

In the end, I decided “yes” because Mike Duncan is currently covering the Russian revolutions (1905 and 1917), he’s taking an extended break between 1905 and 1917 to work on his new book (Citizen Lafayette, which I don’t see listed on Amazon yet), and he’s announced that he is wrapping up “Revolutions” after the Russian revolutions are done. So like “The History of Rome”, there’s a defined limit, and I have time to catch up. Plus there’s structure to “Revolutions” that allows me to listen in blocks of episodes, rather than crunching through from episode 1 to the end.

Anyway, Mr. Duncan recommended these two videos in episode 10.35, and I liked them enough to feature here, even if they are a bit long. I find Drachinifel kind of funny: almost like a good stand-up comedian.

It helps that, in this first video, he’s got naturally funny material to work with: the Russian 2nd Pacific Squadron. Or, as he refers to it, “Voyage of the Damned”, one of the most messed up operations in naval history. Start with the decision to send the fleet on an 18,000 mile voyage with no friendly naval bases for resupply and refueling. Add in the fact that many of the ships in the fleet weren’t designed for operations in this environment, and were rather dated. Then add in the fact that many of the officers were incompetent drunks, and the crews lacked experience.

As one officer put it “One Half of this lot needed to be taught everything, because they know nothing. and the other half also needed to learn everything, because they had forgotten everything.”

Hilarity ensued. The 2nd Pacific Squadron nearly started a war with the United Kingdom, narrowly managed to avoid some other incidents because their gunnery was incompetent (and they didn’t have enough ammunition loaded for practice), turned their ships into a zoo (complete with a poisonous snake that bit an officer) and an opium den, and the list goes on. I think this is one of those historical moments that justifies the use of the word “fiasco“.

Bonus #1: Unfortunately, the punchline to the voyage of the dammed isn’t quite as funny: the Battle of Tsushima. In which, having sailed 18,000 miles, the 2nd Pacific Squadron confronts the Japanese navy…and gets slaughtered.

Total Russian personnel losses were 216 officers and 4,614 men killed; with 278 officers and 5,629 men taken as Prisoner Of War (POW). Interned in neutral ports were 79 officers and 1,783 men. Escaping to Vladivostok and Diego-Suarez were 62 officers and 1,165 men. Japanese personnel losses were 117 officers and men killed and 583 officers and men wounded.

Bonus #2: this one is much shorter, and specifically covers the Kamchatka. Or, as Drachinifel refers to it, “the curse of the Russian fleet”.

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