TMQ Watch: September 22, 2015.

TMQ Watch? On Tuesday? Yes, we know it is a bit of a shock, but that is our plan and we intend to stick to it.

TMQ Watch will probably go up late in the afternoon, though: we like to run out to DFG Noodles on our lunch hour. And while the noodles are excellent, and the girls are cute (our two big reasons for going) it does cut into our lunchtime blogging.

But enough administration. After the jump, this week’s edited TMQ…

(Can you believe Easterbrook apparently has an editor? Yeah, we’re still sort of boggled as well.)

NFL coaches should go for two points, and do so by rushing. 598 words down.

The Steelers’ try succeeded, putting Pittsburgh ahead, 8-0, and firing up the home crowd. Seeing their coaches go all-in to win, rather than stick with “safe” tactics, seemed to fire up Steelers players, too, setting in motion a runaway victory.

“Go all-in to win”? Based on a first-quarter play? Plus, isn’t is possible that the Steelers’ felt emboldened to go for because San Francisco, quite frankly, stinks?

Did Bill Belichick Stage the PSIcheated Scandal to Get Brady Fired Up?

No. Next stupid question?

(Memo to the NYT fact checkers: grape Ovaltine does not exist. As a matter of fact, “grape Ovaltine” is nonsensical: what TMQ is really saying is “grape-flavored chocolate milk”. Which is a disgusting concept.)

Bad blitzing: the New York Football Giants. Ndamukong Suh and Marcell Dareus are not playing well, even though they signed huge contracts this year. Whatever happened to the Saints and the Seahawks? And wasn’t TMQ griping about the Seahawks (or at least their defense) last week?

Undrafted Seth Roberts of Division II West Alabama — school of undrafted Malcolm Butler, Super Bowl hero — caught the winning touchdown pass as Oakland upset Baltimore.

Hey! TMQ’s obsession with undrafted players is back! We missed it! (Our aim, however, is steadily improving.)

Next Sunday the Santa Clara 49ers play at Arizona, where the Cardinals are on a 14-3 stretch. Jacksonville plays at New England, where the Patriots are on a 41-4 home run versus the A.F.C. The Seahawks, on a 26-2 streak at home, host the Bears.

We anticipate being busy on Sunday, but this sounds like fun. In a “watch the innocents get slaughtered” sort of way.

Maybe The Upshot’s 4th Down Bot should ask A.I. Barbie out.

Maybe we were mistaken about Easterbrook having an editor.

Cleveland should snap the ball more. Why don’t NFL teams dye their turf? From the NFL rulebook, page 8 of the downloadable PDF: “The surface of the entire Field of Play must be a League-approved shade of green.” You’d kind of think Easterbrook would have checked this first. (We kind of wonder if that might have something to do with television and the first-down line.)

By the way, the 600 Club is (sort of) back. The Eagles rushing game stinks. Stats. “It’s pretty fun to run 1 yard less than the maximum football distance when everyone in front of you has already been knocked down.” Ah, yes, another TMQ evergreen.

“Does Belichick Have Hillary’s Missing Emails?” No, but the Communist Chinese do. Next stupid question?

Chicken-(salad) kicking: Boston College, Northern Illinois University. Devin Hester lives!

On one possession at Pittsburgh, the 49ers ran nine snaps in the red zone and came away with no points.

(We have to admit: while we’re not Steelers fans, we hate the 49ers even more.)

“Adventures in Officiating” (another TMQ evergreen!): Houston vs. Carolina. “Zebras required 6 minutes 15 seconds to figure out the spot, down and time remaining.” Missed that one; we were busy Sunday. University of Florida coach Jim McElwain is an a–hole. More chicken-(salad) kicking: Buffalo. (The Bills losing also filled us with delight; as regular readers know, Buffalo is one of our least favorite teams.)

Since the 2012 RG3 mega-trade, Les Mouflons and the Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons are a combined 38-61-1, with only one above-.500 season in the six between these two clubs.

More Rex Ryan. More TMQ terms explained.

“…it’s pleasing to see Dan Snyder’s name near the word ‘drainage.'”

And that’s the end of another TMQ. No corrections appended so far, but it has only been a few hours since it went live. In case you were wondering, this week’s edition came in at 3,077 words by our count. TMQ for week two of last year came in at 7,779 words.

We’re kind of digging the new, tighter, TMQ. Especially since there’s been a notable lack of chortling football gods. We’re still wishing for the obscure college scores, however.

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