TMQ watch: January 31, 2012.

Before we get into this week’s TMQ…well, we were going to snark on Women’s Professional Soccer, but that’s kind of kicking a person when they’re down. (“…average attendance 2,714 before the World Cup final”, “…season’s final average was 3,518, slightly below the 2010 average of 3,601”)

Other than that…well, this is the slowest week in sports. Why don’t we just jump in now and avoid the Super Bowl rush?

David Diehl, left tackle of the Jersey/A Giants, is the 2011 Tuesday Morning Quarterback Non-Quarterback Non-Running Back NFL MVP. Tight end Rob Gronkowski of New England is the runner-up. You can now skip the first 788 words of this week’s column.

“For recent Super Bowls, the fourth quarter has been the best part.” We agree; and thus, we think that the Super Bowl is overdue for a blowout (especially given NBC’s recent luck). On a slightly related note, we got a kick out of this list of Super Bowl proposition bets from the HouChron.

In other other news, when you translate something from English to another language, and then translate the translation back to English, you get a mangled result. Especially if you’re using an automated translation utility. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Tell us about the lambs, Clarisse.

TMQ is still functioning under the delusion that he can do a better job with NYT corrections than Jimbo. (“Misidentified the location where Norman Mailer stabbed one of his wives.” Are we talking geographic location, or body part?) What makes this item even worse is that TMQ ignored perhaps the best recent NYT correction.

“…in 2010, Barack Obama gave 14 percent of his income to charity, Romney gave 14 percent, and Newt Gingrich gave 3 percent.”

We have to confess: we like Laura Kaeppeler. At least, we’d take her out for a cheeseburger and the amusing house red before Clarisse. Not that Clarisse is bad looking, mind, but we prefer Laura.

“…for an august body to say it needs three years to think about one second is our contemporary obsession with absurd precision in a nutshell. “ For TMQ to make a statement like that summarizes why we do these columns in a nutshell. Here’s an excellent column by Phil “Bad Astronomy” Plait about the leap second issue, which is much more complicated than TMQ presents. (We do, however, agree with at least some of his other examples.) (“Boston Globe reporters can measures hundredths of seconds?” Actually, Greggles, we suspect that’s either Elias Sports Bureau or Stats LLC, but the Globe doesn’t give credit to either.)

So what about the Super Bowl? New England’s defense is weak, and they lack a deep threat. But their tight ends are tight. The Giants also have a weak defense, but a good four-man rush and outstanding wide receivers.

“…when will the first male member of Congress wear a bright red business suit?” A more interesting question: who will it be? We have two thoughts on the subject.

The case against the moon base.

TMQ Non-QB Non-RB NFL MVP Finalists: Jarret Johnson, Baltimore. Victor Cruz and Jason Pierre-Paul, Giants. Matt Light and Vince Wilfork, New England. Vernon Davis, Justin Smith, Joe Staley and Patrick Willis, San Francisco. If you notice a trend: “This year only players from the title round are eligible”.

Praise to TMQ (well, actually, “Bruce Tapper, a psychologist in Port Townsend, Wash.”) for publicizing the SCAT2 form.

Readers write: silly TMQ, thinking government employees can be fired (wow, TMQ let a “Fast and Furious” mention into his column), silly wine tasting (bonus points for the link to this classic Calvin Trillin article), TMQ fails to understand “negative reinforcement”, “standard thinking has not been fully Clovis-first for a while now” (but Buttermilk Creek is still exciting; so is Meadowcroft Rockshelter), and in defense of class-action lawsuits.

Creep. “National Football Conference Conference Champions.”

Tune in next week for the post-Super Bowl letdown. Only three (we think) columns left to go before the break.

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