From the blotter.

A Wisconsin man was arrested in August after he allegedly drank his friend’s blood, cut off her pinky with a machete, put the severed phalange in the freezer to eat later, and then took a blowtorch to his friend’s hand to try and stop the bleeding, according to media reports.

Damn, dude. Kind of busy, weren’t you? I understand why you saved the finger: probably worked up a bit of an appetite with all the blood drinking and pinky severing and blowtorching.

(Also: “the severed phalange”. Pro tip here: an amateur writer such as your humble blogger would have gone with “the severed finger”. “Servered phalange” is how you know you’re reading a true professional.)

[The alleged victim] told police she voluntarily participated in the ritual and didn’t want anyone to be arrested for the event.

And we ask again: where do guys find these women?

And what was the motivation here?

Schrap, whose body tattoos identify him as a member of the Juggalos, which is the name given to super fans of the Insane Clown Posse group, his friend Nick Laabs, and fellow Juggalo Preston Hyde, who goes by “Bloody Ruckus,” were performing a “ritualistic memorial” when they honored a fellow Juggalo who died a year prior by drinking the blood of [the victim], 27.

Juggalos? I get they probably had the identifying marks, but the blood drinking, phalange severing, and blowtorching (the latter after a cigarette lighter didn’t stop the bleeding) seems like a lot more work than your average Juggalo is willing to do.

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