TMQ Watch: February 2, 2016.

How did TMQ spend the most boring week in sports? Let’s find out. This week’s TMQ, after the jump…

Would you believe 480 words whinging about NFL celebration penalties?

…teams that return an interception for a touchdown are 12-0 in the Super Bowl.

The return of The T.M.Q. Non-QB Non-RB N.F.L. M.V.P.: Von Miller, Denver.

TMQ’s “Super Bowl Preview”: “The pressure seems to be squarely on the Broncos.” Also, Cam Newton has a relative size and weight advantage over the Denver defense.

Wacky disclaimer: “Biblical violence”. (Pretty good response in the comments.)

The economic impact of the Super Bowl is overstated, as any regular reader of Field of Schemes knows. In other news, we’re all doomed, maybe. Suspiciously precise statistics make their triumphant return.

One thing many movies and shows have in common is unrealistic depiction of modern naval technology.

Phillips bonus #1: He has held the title “interim head coach” in New Orleans, Atlanta and Houston, and was fired from all three interim positions.

How do you get “fired” from an interim coaching position? Look, we’re not big Wade Phillips fans (unlike, apparently, TMQ), but “fired” makes it sound like he did something wrong. As opposed to “served temporarily as head coach until the team was able to hire a permanent replacement”, which is pretty much what the definition of “interim” is.

End tax deductions for donations to collegiate sports, cries TMQ. We say TMQ should be careful what he wishes for: end tax deductions for sports, and what’s going to happen to the more marginal ones? Women’s basketball? Men’s curling? Bass fishing?

Clap on. Clap off. Stop clapping. More epigrams that make no sense to TMQ readers. Belichick was right, and did you ever think you’d read those words in TMQ?

Best Record Wins, or if Records Equal, Home Team Wins.

My off-price generic metric says the Carolina Panthers. I’ll forecast Carolina 20, Denver 17, because 20-17 is the most common N.F.L. final score, happening 248 times in league annals.

There you have it, folks, immortalized for the sake of posterity. And that’s a wrap for this week. Oh, except for the correction:

An earlier version of this article misstated the starting time of Sunday’s Super Bowl, as expressed in Roman numerals. The game will start around 6:30 p.m. Eastern (VI:XXX), not 11:30 (XI:XXX).

We understand TMQ’s confusion, though. It sometimes seems to us like the game starts around IV:XX on the Saturday before…

One Response to “TMQ Watch: February 2, 2016.”

  1. The “served temporarily as head coach until the team was able to hire a permanent replacement” idea only works if he was still retained by the Texans in another capacity, but instead of going back to his Defensive Coordinator position, Wade Phillips was indeed let go after the season.