Whipped Cream Difficulties

Have you ever had one of those days when you don’t want to even look at the newspaper, or do much of anything except curl up in a ball and shut out the world?

Yeah. Us too. After the jump, this week’s TMQ…

Oh, Ghu. The Authentic Games Index is back.

What’s an Authentic Game? You know it when you see it. Usually this means a date against another team that’s playoff-bound. But it depends. I can’t disclose my methodology because I don’t have one.

536 words down.

Another reason the N.F.L. should switch to a seeded-tournament format.

Or maybe another reason to be glad the postseason doesn’t begin today.

The Cleveland Browns are the Cleveland Browns. But:

Because football is a complex sport with large numbers of players, it’s hard to throw the outcome of a football game in the way that a baseball game can be thrown via deliberate strikeout or a basketball game thrown by deliberately missing shots. But it’s not inconceivable that football stats could be manipulated to serve the interests of fantasy gambling.

We’re curious how this would happen. Is TMQ suggesting that players might deliberately underperform so FanDuel makes money? Or that coaches might bench key players for the benefit of DraftKings? To put it another way…

Tight ends: Cincinnati, New England. What the actual hell, Green Bay? Stats.

As graying pundits wring their hands regarding campus protests, it is well to bear in mind that at least as far back as Plato, each aging generation has believed the young are out of whack.

Assuming that this is the quote in question, Plato supposedly attributed it to Socrates, but there’s no evidence that either of them actually said it.

Minority students complaining on campuses today will be among the leaders of the nation in a couple of decades. Society needs to learn to respect their judgment.

Without passing judgment on the legitimacy (or lack thereof) of these complaints: respect is earned. It is not an entitlement.

Will Kansas City become the first 1-5 team since 1970 to reach the N.F.L. postseason? Will Atlanta become the 14th team to open 5-0 and miss the playoffs?

And isn’t it a shame that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs?

Dance dance rush.

Is the defense budget ultimately paying for this, too?

You know, at first blush, that sounds like a really good question. And it is true at some level that the defense budget is paying for Raytheon’s sponsorship of the Patriots. But let’s think about this some more: is TMQ’s position that Raytheon isn’t entitled to make money off of their government contracts? Or that Raytheon is making too much money if they can afford to give some to the Patriots? What’s a reasonable profit for Raytheon to make? Aren’t their contracts subject to competitive bidding? If they are making “too much profit”, can’t someone come along and undercut them?

TMQ’s “defense budget is paying for this” argument is superficially compelling, even to us as libertarians. But if you think about it, rather than just letting your buttons be pushed, we’re not sure it holds up.

T.M.Q. continues to think Chip Kelly will skedaddle to the collegiate ranks…

Which is amusing, since the talk this week was that he might be “traded” to the Titans.

…where football coaches are little gods and players say naught but “yes, sir.”

“Yes, sir.”

Are the Eagles’ troubles the result of off-season turbulence? During the off-season, Kelly essentially traded LeSean McCoy, Jeremy Maclin, Nick Foles, Cary Williams, Todd Herremans, Evan Mathis, Trent Cole and high draft selections for Sam Bradford, Kiko Alonso, Byron Maxwell and DeMarco Murray: I may be leaving out a couple dozen players. The roster churn seems to have backfired. Often in 2015, the Eagles have performed like a group of gents who met for the first time in the parking lot just before kickoff.

Well, that’s one way of looking at it. Another way of looking at is to say that Kelly weeded out a bunch of players who were underperforming from the Eagles roster.

“T.M.Q. Is Looking for Corporate Sponsors for My Proposed Fiasco Bowl.” Well, we had one in mind, but were deeply disappointed to find out the Bitcoin Bowl is no more. “The Beef O’Brady’s Fiasco Bowl”? Does kind of have a ring to it…

Chicken-(salad) kicking: New England. Bad blitzing: Seattle. Sexy Rexy Ryan.

Quoted at length for reasons:

Virginia Tech just replaced the storied Frank Beamer with Justin Fuente of Memphis, who walked out on a five-year contract he signed less than 12 months ago. Nobody put a gun to Fuente’s head and forced him to agree to that December 2014 deal. Fuente, who’s leaving Memphis immediately — good luck in that bowl game, Tigers — breaks his promises to the University of Memphis and to the young men he recruited. In recruiting, most college football coaches preach loyalty and family. Then when dollars are waved, it’s see you later. Virginia Tech faithful: Fuente did not keep his word at Memphis; why assume he will keep his word to you? Apparently the Virginia Tech program is changing in more ways than one, from Beamer’s character-first approach to the almighty-dollar mind-set.

Yeah, Fuente may be a weasel. But it is also worth considering that Easterbrook views Frank Beamer with something almost like worship: Beamer let Easterbrook follow the team around, with “no restrictions”, for the 2011 season, and Easterbrook spends much of his book The King of Sports: Why Football Must Be Reformed discussing his experiences with Beamer’s team. Point being, TMQ may have more of an ax to grind here than just Fuente ducking out of a contract. (And how loyal would Memphis have been to Fuente?)

More chicken-(salad) kicking: Oklahoma State.

Taking a 36-35 lead with 30 seconds remaining at Stanford, Notre Dame went into a prevent defense. That’s the only fact you need to guess which college won.

We thought the only fact you needed was: which team has a better band?

Coaches have become so accustomed to N.F.L. decision-making favoring the offense that enforcement of a long-existing rule that favors the defense now comes as a shock.

500 Club, 500 Club, 700 Club. Strong 2 Clubs.

Wesley Wolverines 42, Johns Hopkins Blue Jays 37.

That’s all for this week. We still have hopes that Carolina will win out, and TMQ’s 1972 Miami Dolphins auto-text will go into the trash where it belongs.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 3rd, 2015 at 7:35 pm and is filed under NFL, Sports, TMQ watch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.