Football season again. Soon, the air will chill. Soon, the Christmas decorations will start appearing in stores. Soon, Gregg Easterbrook will be writing about TV shows and the blur offense.
Oh, wait. Did we say “soon”? We mean “now”. After El Jumpo…
“This season, fast-break football may highlight the NFL.” This season, the Texans may win the Superb Owl. This season, pigs may fly. Ah, that little qualifier “may”.
(Also, 465 words down.)
“But when a defense sells out to stop someone or something, other options are offered.”
TMQ informs us that Peter King has jumped on the bandwagon of his crusade to change the name of the Washington Redskins. We don’t really have a dog in this fight, but we’d like to thank TMQ for reminding us that we should start reading “Fun With Peter King” again.
TMQ’s Super Bowl pick is San Francisco over Denver. Unless my pick is New England over Atlanta — the Flying Elvii just ran up 431 yards of offense using volunteers from the audience at the receiver positions. Maybe my pick should be Jersey/A — the last time the Giants opened with a loss at Dallas, they went on to hoist the Lombardi.
Kind of a shame ESPN did away with Easterbrook’s bad predictions year-end review.
Sweet: Denver-Baltimore (Manning’s first TD). Sour: Tampa-Jets (the personal foul). Mixed: Chicago-Bengals (Chicago went for it on 4th down, the Bengals burned all their timeouts).
Another year of TMQ, and more of Easterbrook’s obsession with asteroid defense.
We must have missed this plan somewhere. And we agree with TMQ: it seems pointless.
“Dozens of billions of dollars”. Or roughly one Facebook.
(We’d trade Facebook for an effective asteroid defense, you bet.)
Three points here:
- We love “Tangled Up In Blue”.
- We agree with Zimmerman’s main point here. We suspect our NASA employee friend who wishes to remain anonymous would enthusiastically agree, too; if we hear from him, we’ll update.
- That said, what’s the counter-proposal for NASA funding? Five year allotments?
Seats at the laugher Kansas City at Jacksonville contest — teams a combined 4-28 last season — could be had for $14. That’s below face value: owners of Jax seats were taking a loss to be rid of them.
Heh. Heh. Heh.
“Best restaurant name ever.” Oh, come on, Gregg. We’re sure we can come up with better ones. Also, we wonder who had the name first: the restaurant or the blog/podcast?
Bring us the (metaphorical) head of Lane Kiffin! And a side salad! And some more bread!
Another TMQ trope making a return appearance this year. (And, again, it isn’t that we disagree with TMQ. We just despair of the meaningful change TMQ wants taking place unless an asteroid strikes the Earth and wipes out college football.)
Concussion watch: college coaches are ignoring trainers, and high school football enrollment in Pittsburgh is down.
Atlanta: why don’t they rush?
Filled with joy, we are. (TMQ’s examples include Rice at Texas A&M, Georgia at Clemson, and a few others.)
“Days”? We think TMQ vastly overestimates the efficiency of government. Can you imagine the debates over the wording of the referendum? And would you trust an electronic referendum?
Chicken-(salad) punts: Buffalo, Arizona. The Football Gods Smiled. The Football Gods Chortled. The Football Gods Will Have Their Revenge. Three. Three items in a row with the Football Gods. We’re waiting for The Football Gods Go Out For Some Beers.
This week in TMQ’s TV Reviews: “Under The Dome”.
- That thought isn’t unique to you, TMQ.
- Lord knows, we have our issues with King. But we believe Big Steve when he says that he had this idea in 1972, and tried to write it again in 1982 – long before “The Simpsons Movie”.
- Even if it was a take-off of “The Simpsons Movie”, what would be wrong with taking that premise and treating it seriously?
Led by the endless Batman and Spider-Man remakes, the Hollywood remake has spiraled out of control.
Ah, the “Hollywood is out of ideas” trope from FARK.
The summer film “R.I.P.D.” was a remake of the television series “Brimstone.”
We don’t remember “Brimstone” being a buddy cop show. “Men In Black” is a much closer comparison. (And “R.I.P.D.” is actually adapted from a comic book, Greg.)
No, Greggles. Just no. “Vegas” was (loosely) based on the life of Ralph Lamb, former sheriff of Clark County. “Crime Story” wasn’t even set in Vegas for the first season.
The original short story, “Ender’s Game” was published in 1977. It was expanded into a novel that was published in 1985 (and, we can assume, publishing schedules being what they are, completed sometime before that). But keep on (pluckimg) that chicken, Gregg.
(More things to purchase for TMQ: The Complete Directory to Prime Time Network and Cable TV Shows, 1946-Present. Of course, that doesn’t mean he’ll actually use it.)
TMQ devotes 526 words to the Green Bay – San Francisco game and doesn’t mention the officiating once. (We looked ahead: there is an “Adventures in Officiating” item, but it is mostly about Detroit and Ndamukong Suh.)
“Browns-Jaguars on Dec. 1 Shaping Up as Worst Game of Year”. Also, we’ve found the limit of TMQ’s obsession with undrafted unwanted free agents.
Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening. (On a side note, we saw this shirt when we were in San Antonio, and wish we had bought it.)
(What are we supposed to take away from the repeated references to “newly rich John Harbaugh”? A little class warfare there, TMQ?)
It’s the home team, not the visitors, that’s supposed to stage the big comeback.
“This could be a long season for the Steelers…” Please, God, we don’t ask for much…
Wow. Who knew that crowds would boo when things go against their team? The Football Gods Chortled. Again. They sure do seem to spend a lot of time chortling, don’t they? Must not be much else to do up there on whatever the Football Gods equivalent of Mount Olympus is in TMQ’s mythology.
The operative word in that sentence being “believed”. “Believed” by TMQ, that is.
And, going back to another TMQ obsession:
MIT 28, Pomona-Pitzer 26. Wait, MIT isn’t an “obscure school”. (Though Pomona-Pitzer, which is actually two! two! two schools in one! may be.)
Located in Cambridge, Mass. the Massachusetts Institute of Technology offers intramural air pistol.
Gregg, Gregg, Gregg. You left out the pirates.
(“Pirates of the Charles River” would be a fun movie. Johnny Depp very much optional.)
And with that, we’ll draw this week’s TMQ watch to a close, and begin working on our email to the ESPN Ombudsman asking the musical questions “Does TMQ have an editor? Or a fact checker? Or any adult supervision at all?”