Archive for the ‘Loser’ Category

Your loser update: week 2, 2017.

Tuesday, September 19th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Jets
Cleveland
Cincinnati
Indianapolis
Chargers
New York Football Giants
Chicago
New Orleans
San Francisco

Your loser update: week 1, 2017.

Tuesday, September 12th, 2017

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Miami (*)
New England
Jets
Cleveland
Cincinnati
Tennessee
Houston
Indianapolis
Chargers
New York Football Giants
Washington
Chicago
Tampa Bay (*)
New Orleans
Seattle
Arizona
San Francisco

(* Miami and Tampa Bay were originally scheduled to play last Sunday. However, due to the hurricane, that game has been postponed until week 11 (November 19th). Which means that Miami and Tampa Bay are going to play 16 straight games without a break. But that’s okay…)

Loser update.

Friday, August 25th, 2017

The loser update will return again this year. The Entertainment and Sports Programming Network is saying that the Jets are going to be exceptionally awful this year. We’ll see.

Speaking of ESPN, I thought some of my readers might enjoy this: the worst NFL teams of the past 30 years.

Obviously, the 2008 Detroit Lions were the worst of the worst, right? Well, not so fast: ESPN’s ranking is based on their “DVOA (Defense-adjusted Value Over Average) metric”. So the 2008 Lions aren’t the worst NFL team of the past 30 years: they’re not even the worst Lions team of the past 30 years.

Who was the worst? And are the Houston Texans represented? You’ll have to give ESPN a page view for the answer to the first question. For the second one, yes, indeed, the Texans do show up on both the worst teams and worst offenses list.

Your NFL loser update: week 16, 2016

Saturday, December 24th, 2016

Looks like I had good reason to be worred about this game.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

None.

One the one hand, I’m glad that my Browns fan relatives don’t have to see their team be the second one in history to go 0-16. On the other hand: seriously, San Diego?

And on the gripping hand, this is just more evidence for my belief that San Diego is a horrible team, that Philip Rivers should be drummed out of the NFL, and that (instead of letting the team move to LA) the Chargers franchise should be revoked, the team disbanded, the current stadium burned to the ground, the rubble plowed into the earth, and the earth sown with salt.

Your NFL loser update: week 15, 2016

Sunday, December 18th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

That takes care of one of the two games I was most concerned about. Still to come:

  • San Diego in Cleveland
  • at Pittsburgh

I’m worried a little about the San Diego game, but I’m pretty confident in Pittsburgh’s ability to beat the Browns at home.

In semi-related news, ESPN is claiming that Rex Ryan is going to be shown the door in Buffalo. It sounds like this isn’t going to happen until Bloody Monday, though.

In other news, the Texans benched their starting quarterback, Brock Osweiler (seriosuly) in favor of Beat PunchBeef Tom Savage (also seriously). Also also seriously, Savage actually engineered a comeback for the Texans, who ended up winning 21-20 over Jacksonville. Granted, Jacksonville is 2-12. so it isn’t like the Texans were playing the first team here, but Brock turned the ball over twice and put Jacksonville up 13-0 before he was benched.

(Isn’t “Brock” one of the most preppy names you can think of? “Hi, Brock, it’s Biff. I was going down to the club with Muffy and Buffy, and wanted to know if you’d like to join us. Maybe we could play doubles and have some white wine spritzers after? Sure, that would be swell, Brock. See you there.” On the other hand, “Tom Savage” strikes me as the kind of name a quarterback should have. It’d also be a great name for a series of children’s books: “Tom Savage and the Improbable Comeback”, “Tom Savage and the New Offensive Coordinator”. “Tom Savage and the Contract Negotiation”…)

Your NFL loser update: week 14, 2016

Sunday, December 11th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

Three games left:

  • at Buffalo (currently 6-7)
  • San Diego (currently 5-8) in Cleveland
  • at Pittsburgh (currently 8-5, and already beat Cleveland in Cleveland earlier this season)

I still wouldn’t bet this way, but I think it is at least possible that Cleveland could win one or two of these games.

Your NFL loser update: weeks 12 and 13, 2016

Sunday, November 27th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

The Browns have a bye in week 13, which is why this is a combined update.

After that, they play at home against the Bengals, on the road in Buffalo, at home against San Diego, and on the road in Pittsburgh. Three out of four of these teams are basically mediocre, and the Bengals are bad, so it’s still possible for the Browns to pull out a couple of wins. I wouldn’t bet that way, but it is possible…

Your NFL loser update: week 11, 2016

Sunday, November 20th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

Unfortunately, since my last loser update, Philadelphia has managed to win three games: there are no longer any NBA teams that have a shot of going 0-82.

Lawrence sent along this interesting piece from Battle Red Blog that goes into detail about Cleveland’s losing streak. Short version: the author thinks they’ve got a shot at going 0-16, and that this is a good thing. They’ve got high draft choices and are making all the right moves to rebuild.

I’d like for him to be right, but: who have the Browns used their high draft choices on in the past? And how did that work out for them?

Your NFL loser update: week 10, 2016

Friday, November 11th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:

Philadelphia

Random notes: November 9, 2016.

Wednesday, November 9th, 2016

Look, I’m not the person you should be coming to for your day-after analysis. I’m not a political pundit: there are smarter, better people (many of whom don’t work for the mass media) who can give you a more serious take on all this.

I also haven’t had time to figure out what all this means for gun politics, and if it is a net win or loss for the 2nd Amendment. I did see that California’s ballot initiative passed, which didn’t surprise me, but I haven’t been able to find results for other states. I don’t think we’ll see an attempted assault weapons ban, or an attempt to end-run the PLCAA, and I do think we will get a friendly Supreme Court justice. But again, look to other people for their takes, because I haven’t thought this all the way through.

(Edited to add: Looks like background checks passed in Nevada, too.)

(Quick ETA2: According to Weer’d, Bloomberg’s background checks lost in Maine.)

(My big thought right now: “Hmmmm. I think I can wait until National Buy an AK Day to get that AK-47, instead of trying to pick one up this weekend.” This gives me some room to maybe, possibly, pick up something less serious and more fun.)

The first part of this week has been busy, and the remainder is going to be even more so. Posts will be as time and events permit. I notice Cleveland is playing on Thursday night this week, so I’ll try to have the loser update up sometime on Friday.

I’ve been somewhat negligent on TMQ Watch updates, but part of that has been hesitation to write about TMQ and Easterbrook. At this point, it appears Easterbrook has given up on TMQ for 2016, but is hoping to return in 2017, per his Twitter feed.

The reason I’ve been hesitant to write about this is that, also according to some things he’s said on Twitter, Easterbrook has been hospitalized for a while. While we tend to give TMQ a hard time about some things, Gregg Easterbrook is not on our short list of people we wish ill to: we send him our best wishes.

I will be updating the city council/county commissioners/state reps lists, but probably not until the new people take office and have contact information posted. i think it will be January before this happens.

Your NFL loser update: week 9, 2016

Monday, November 7th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

Maybe there’s something to be said for the theory that rising baseball fortunes are tied to falling football fortunes and vice versa.

Lawrence suggested that I also do an NBA loser update, now that the season has started. My response: “The season has started?”

Okay, okay. NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:

Philadelphia
New Orleans

Also: all gambling debts have been paid, in front of witnesses. There’s even photo documentation, which may be posted later.

Edited to add: Photographic proof.

img_0755-1.jpg

Your NFL loser update: week 8, 2016

Sunday, October 30th, 2016

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

But hey, the Indians are doing well. Indeed, it seems like there’s a very good chance that I’ll end up owing Lawrence $5…