Archive for the ‘Loser’ Category

Your loser update (plus bonus firings): week 11, 2017.

Monday, November 20th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

San Francisco had a bye this week, so they remain at 1-9. And shockingly, the New York Football Giants actually won another game. (Against Kansas City, in overtime, 12-9. That must have been another titanic offensive struggle.)

I think that’s going to mess up their shot at a high first-round draft choice. Sorry, Infidel.

Firings: Jim Mora fired as head coach at UCLA. After six seasons. On his birthday. “Happy birthday. Here’s your present: it’s a pink slip.”

But don’t cry too hard:

UCLA announced it would honor the terms of Mora’s contract, which included four more seasons and a buyout of roughly $12 million, using exclusively athletic department-generated funds. That money, secured in part from lucrative television deals and the recent mega-apparel contract with Under Armour, will preclude boosters from having to write a large check.

Mora compiled a 46-30 record at UCLA, including four bowl appearances, a Pac-12 South Division title in 2012 and 10-win seasons in 2013 and 2014. But his teams have gone 10-17 since late in the 2015 season.

Marcus Satterfield out at Tennessee Tech. 6-16 over two seasons.

Edited to add: This seems to be official now: Denver fired offensive coordinator Mike McCoy. The team is 3-7 and has lost six games in a row.

Your loser update: week 10, 2017.

Monday, November 13th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

I’m somewhat conflicted over this.

On the one hand, I’m disappointed that we don’t have two teams contending for the Owen-16 trophy.

On the other hand, I still think the Browns have a good chance of losing out. (The next game that I think they’re in real danger of winning is December 3rd against the Chargers.)

On the gripping hand, we could have a situation where there are three 1-15 teams contending for high first round draft picks: the New York Football Giants, the 49ers, and the Browns. I’m not sure how the NFL determines precedence in this situation, but friend of the blog Infidel should be happy that there’s at least a chance…

Your loser update: week 9, 2017.

Monday, November 6th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland (bye week)
San Francisco

Next week, San Francisco plays the New York Football Giants at home. The Browns play at Detroit.

Your loser update: week 8, 2017.

Sunday, October 29th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
San Francisco

NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:

None.

Bonus firings content:

Jim McElwain out at Florida, in what appears to be a “mutually agreed” departure. Terms are supposedly still being negotiated.

Early last week, McElwain claimed that his family and players were receiving death threats. Reports are that the university spent the week looking into those claims and was unable to substantiate them: it was widely reported yesterday that the school was looking to fire McElwain “for cause” over this.

Tony Perez and Andre Dawson have also left the Miami Marlins. Much like Jeff “Mr. Marlin” Conine, this appears to be the new ownership cleaning house.

Perez and Dawson met with Jeter a little more than a week ago, when he told them of plans for their decreased responsibilities and an expected decrease in pay — though apparently Jeter didn’t say how decreased in the meeting. After word came back that their salaries were now to be $25,000, which under different circumstances might qualify someone for food stamps, Perez and Dawson questioned how badly they were wanted. There was some discussion about what they’d be allowed to do now, and while they still would be allowed to walk through the clubhouse, apparently they were no longer to dress in there.

Your loser update: week 7, 2017.

Monday, October 23rd, 2017

Apologies for this being later than usual, but I was waiting for a couple of things to come together.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
San Francisco

How about that titanic battle of the Browns/Titans offenses, eh? I was actually a little worried there.

And the NBA regular season has fired up, so you know what that means:

NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:

New York Knicks
Chicago
Philadelphia
Dallas
Phoenix

And it is pretty early in the season, but we already have our first firing: Earl Watson out as coach in Phoenix.

The Suns started the season 0-3 and suffered their worst loss in franchise history, losing by 48 points to the Portland Trail Blazers, in the season opener. They allowed 132 points to the Los Angeles Lakers in a two-point loss on Friday and then were blown out by the Los Angeles Clippers 130-88 on Saturday.

He was 33-85 over “two plus” seasons.

Your loser update: week 6, 2017.

Sunday, October 15th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
San Francisco

What the heck, Denver? You had one job.

At least I don’t have to feel that bad for Infidel de Manhatta: it doesn’t look like the Giants will get that first draft pick, but maybe they’ll end up getting a relatively high one.

I still like Cleveland’s chances.

Your loser update: week 5, 2017.

Sunday, October 8th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
New York Football Giants
San Francisco

Wow. When was the last time there was a team as seemingly jinxed as the New York Football Giants? Not only did they lose to hapless the Chargers, but they also lost Odell Beckham Jr.

It seems like there’s only one thing you can say about this:

Your loser update: week 4, 2017.

Sunday, October 1st, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
Chargers
New York Football Giants
San Francisco

Sorry, Infidel de Manhatta.

Your loser update: week 3, 2017.

Sunday, September 24th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
Cincinnati
Chargers
New York Football Giants
San Francisco

Apologies to friend of the blog Infidel de Manhatta. Honestly, I remember the predictions before the start of the season: people (well, ESPN) were saying the Jets had a good shot at going 0-16. Tossed that away, did they not?

But hey, Cleveland’s still on track. Not that I really want to see Cleveland lose, for family reasons, but I think I’ve mentioned my theory of compensatory suck before, right? The better the baseball team is, the worse the football team, and vice versa?

Your loser update: week 2, 2017.

Tuesday, September 19th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Jets
Cleveland
Cincinnati
Indianapolis
Chargers
New York Football Giants
Chicago
New Orleans
San Francisco

Your loser update: week 1, 2017.

Tuesday, September 12th, 2017

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Miami (*)
New England
Jets
Cleveland
Cincinnati
Tennessee
Houston
Indianapolis
Chargers
New York Football Giants
Washington
Chicago
Tampa Bay (*)
New Orleans
Seattle
Arizona
San Francisco

(* Miami and Tampa Bay were originally scheduled to play last Sunday. However, due to the hurricane, that game has been postponed until week 11 (November 19th). Which means that Miami and Tampa Bay are going to play 16 straight games without a break. But that’s okay…)

Loser update.

Friday, August 25th, 2017

The loser update will return again this year. The Entertainment and Sports Programming Network is saying that the Jets are going to be exceptionally awful this year. We’ll see.

Speaking of ESPN, I thought some of my readers might enjoy this: the worst NFL teams of the past 30 years.

Obviously, the 2008 Detroit Lions were the worst of the worst, right? Well, not so fast: ESPN’s ranking is based on their “DVOA (Defense-adjusted Value Over Average) metric”. So the 2008 Lions aren’t the worst NFL team of the past 30 years: they’re not even the worst Lions team of the past 30 years.

Who was the worst? And are the Houston Texans represented? You’ll have to give ESPN a page view for the answer to the first question. For the second one, yes, indeed, the Texans do show up on both the worst teams and worst offenses list.