Archive for the ‘Loser’ Category

Your NFL loser update: week 6, 2015.

Monday, October 19th, 2015

Another busy weekend. I was running around helping people celebrate their birthdays, driving between Austin and Lakeway, and generally doing stuff that distracted me from the NFL games.

Which is a good thing. I’m not sure if I should be happy that Chicago lost to Detroit, or sad that my dream of another 0-16 season has to be deferred until next year.

At least San Diego and Buffalo both lost. Would that the Browns could have won, but it sounds like that was an exciting game in any case.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:


We’ll be back with the loser update next year (perhaps sooner, if anything interesting goes on in the world of basketball) and TMQ Watch tomorrow, maybe, we hope.

Your NFL loser update: week 5, 2015.

Monday, October 12th, 2015

Another jam-packed weekend. A wake, a blogshoot, a gun show, shopping…

Didn’t watch a single minute of a single game (well, I did catch a few seconds of one out of the corner of one eye while we were eating at Denny’s, of all places). But it wasn’t a bad weekend for the loser update.

NFL teams that have a chance of going 0-16:


In other news, Randy Edsall was fired on Sunday while I was running around. He was 22-34 at the University of Maryland, and they were 2-4 so far this season.

(Speaking of 2-4 teams, did Charlie Strong save his job this weekend? Discuss.)

This doesn’t exactly count as a firing, and I take no joy in it, but: Steve Sarkisian is on an “indifinite leave of absence” from USC. It sounds like he has a serious problem: I hope he manages to pull himself out of it.

Your NFL loser update: week 4, 2015.

Tuesday, October 6th, 2015

It wasn’t a great weekend for the loser update. Chicago beat Oakland (you had one job, Raiders). New Orleans beat Dallas (we missed that game, but it sounds like it was a thriller). And the Detroit-Seattle game was much closer than we expected. But…

NFL teams that have a chance of going 0-16:


In other news: DraftKings and FanDuel may be sleezy? Who’d thunk it?

Your NFL loser update: week 3, 2015.

Monday, September 28th, 2015

It wasn’t a bad weekend. Of course, I didn’t watch any of the games, as I was busy all day Sunday (about which, more later), but the teams I expected to engage in good old fashioned curb stompings did, indeed.

NFL teams that have a chance of going 0-16:

New Orleans

We’re starting to get down there. But at this point, I don’t think there’s a team that’s really bad enough to go 0-16.

Your NFL loser update: week 2, 2015.

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2015

NFL teams that have a chance of going 0-16:

New York Football Giants
New Orleans

Your NFL loser update: week 1, 2015.

Monday, September 14th, 2015

NFL teams that have a chance of going 0-16:

New York Football Giants
New Orleans
Tampa Bay

Lawrence asked me the other night who I thought might be the first coach fired. My gut response was: whoever’s coaching the Jets this year. (Todd Bowles. You’re welcome.) It is his first year, but when one of your linebackers breaks your starting quarterback’s jaw, and people say “Yeah, he was asking for it”, well that’s your dumpster fire right there.

If not Mr. Bowles (the Jets, after all, won) perhaps Gus Bradley in Jacksonville?

The holidays have snuck up on me…

Tuesday, July 14th, 2015

…and I didn’t really have a chance to prepare.

So happy Bastille Day, everyone. I don’t actually recommend storming a prison, but if you do, please observe all safety precautions. (And don’t launch fireworks off of your head, or other body parts.)

The All-Star game kind of snuck up on me, too. But honestly, this year, I don’t give a flying flip at a rolling doughnut. There’s really no spectacularly bad team to root against. Heck, both the Astros and the Cubs are over .500.

Your loser update: April 17, 2015.

Friday, April 17th, 2015

The end of the NBA regular season has snuck up on us.

Early in the season, it seemed like Philadelphia was the favorite to go 0-82, or at least set a record for futility.

How did that work out for them? Well, they finished 18-64. Which is bad.

But it isn’t as bad as the New York Knicks, who finished 17-65. Philadelphia didn’t even lose their own division. Which I think says something about the team, but I’m not sure what.

But, surprisingly, the Knicks weren’t the worst NBA team this year. That honor goes to the Minnesota Timberwolves, who finished the season at 16-66, for a winning percentage of 0.195. ESPN has a very nice list of the worst NBA teams, which currently includes the Timberwolves, and lets you do side-by-side comparisons with the legendary 72-73 Philadelphia team.

By the way, the Lakers finished 21-61. Just saying.

TMQ Watch: December 23, 2014.

Wednesday, December 24th, 2014

Before we jump into this week’s post-bye TMQ, a tweet from Easterbrook:

Dear Greggles:

The “whole nation” saw Jacksonville – Tennessee because it was a Thursday night game and the only game on. It may be true that California didn’t get to see Dallas – Indianapolis, but that was a curb stomping; the San Diego – San Francisco and Oakland – Buffalo games were close thrillers.

After the jump, this week’s TMQ. Warning: spoilers ahead for “Ascension”.


Bad boys and losers: December 12, 2014.

Friday, December 12th, 2014


Two private investigators accused of tailing an Orange County councilman with a GPS device and setting up another by calling in a false drunk driving report were charged Thursday with false imprisonment and conspiracy to commit a crime, the district attorney’s office said.

The PIs were working for a law firm that represented “more than 120 public safety unions”, including the Costa Mesa Police Association. I’m hoping that they roll, and that this ends with jail sentences and disbarment.

Philadelphia is currently 2-19. However, that might not be bad enough:

In two games on Friday, the four bottom-feeders of the [Atlantic] division will face off. The 4-20 Knicks will face the 7-13 Celtics, and the 2-19 76ers will face the 8-12 Nets. The good news is that the four teams, which enter with a combined record of 21-64, will by default improve their combined winning percentage. The bad news is that fans will be asked to watch games in which one could argue that no one is trying to win.

Has the NYPD been fabricating gun cases?

Each gun was found in a plastic bag or a handkerchief, with no traces of the suspect’s fingerprints. Prosecutors and the police did not mention a confidential informer until months after the arrests. None of the informers have come forward, even when defense lawyers and judges have requested they appear in court.

But what would be their motivation?

… a group of officers invents criminal informers, and may be motivated to make false arrests to help satisfy department goals or quotas. They also question whether the police are collecting the $1,000 rewards offered to informers from Operation Gun Stop, especially in cases where the informers never materialize.

NYPD officers faking information to collect money from Operation Gun Stop? That’s unheard of!

Random notes: December 5, 2014.

Friday, December 5th, 2014

The 76ers, turning the fundamental belief system of sports on its head, do not mind losing. A lot.

However, they did screw up their chances of going 0-82. Philadelphia is now 1-17.

Anybody out there missing a pony?

Public service announcement: if you get an “order confirmation” email from someplace like Costco or Home Depot, and you didn’t place an online order, and the email doesn’t contain specific details about which store you should pick it up at, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T CLICK ON THE LINKS!

I’m sure most of my readers are smart enough to figure this out on their own, but I wanted to mention it here for reasons.

Your loser update: week 12, 2014.

Friday, November 21st, 2014

You had one job, Kansas City. One job. And you blew it.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16 this season:


With this, our hopes turn to the NBA: Philadelphia is now 0-11.