Archive for the ‘Loser’ Category

Your NFL loser update: week 3, 2016.

Tuesday, September 27th, 2016

Damn. I knew I was forgetting something. Late start this morning. Sorry

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
Jacksonville
Chicago
New Orleans

We’re starting to get down to it now. Only four teams left standing. For personal reasons, I hate to think Cleveland has the best shot at the Owen Sixteen trophy, but objectively it is starting to look that way.

I’m a little surprised Easterbrook hasn’t held forth on the football gods waxing wrothful against the Saints, or something like that. But the season is still young.

(And there’s still no word I’ve seen on TMQ this year.)

Your NFL loser update: week 2, 2016.

Tuesday, September 20th, 2016

Down to it.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Miami
Buffalo
Cleveland
Jacksonville
Indianapolis
Washington
Chicago
New Orleans

I had hopes for the LA Rams this year: I think it would have been delightful to see the NFL return to Los Angeles and go 0-16. Sadly, that didn’t pan out. So who’s left? I’m still thinking Jacksonville has a good shot at the goal.

Your NFL loser update: week 1, 2016.

Tuesday, September 13th, 2016

As foretold in the prophecy.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Miami
New York Jets
Buffalo
Cleveland
Jacksonville
Indianapolis
Tennessee
San Diego
Washington
Dallas
Chicago
New Orleans
Carolina
Atlanta
Los Angeles
Arizona

I’m kind of disappointed that Bobby Three Sticks wasn’t enough to pull Cleveland out of the dumpster (and he’s apparently going to be out for at least eight weeks). But hey, half the teams lose their first game anyway: we’ve still got 15 games to go.

Likewise, I’m semi-happy the Texans won, but we’ve still got 15 games to go…

Sadly, no chance of a Detroit repeat this year. Maybe San Diego? Or Jacksonville?

Loser update update.

Monday, September 12th, 2016

NFL loser update returns tomorrow, for the record.

Your NFL loser update: week 6, 2015.

Monday, October 19th, 2015

Another busy weekend. I was running around helping people celebrate their birthdays, driving between Austin and Lakeway, and generally doing stuff that distracted me from the NFL games.

Which is a good thing. I’m not sure if I should be happy that Chicago lost to Detroit, or sad that my dream of another 0-16 season has to be deferred until next year.

At least San Diego and Buffalo both lost. Would that the Browns could have won, but it sounds like that was an exciting game in any case.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

None.

We’ll be back with the loser update next year (perhaps sooner, if anything interesting goes on in the world of basketball) and TMQ Watch tomorrow, maybe, we hope.

Your NFL loser update: week 5, 2015.

Monday, October 12th, 2015

Another jam-packed weekend. A wake, a blogshoot, a gun show, shopping…

Didn’t watch a single minute of a single game (well, I did catch a few seconds of one out of the corner of one eye while we were eating at Denny’s, of all places). But it wasn’t a bad weekend for the loser update.

NFL teams that have a chance of going 0-16:

Detroit

In other news, Randy Edsall was fired on Sunday while I was running around. He was 22-34 at the University of Maryland, and they were 2-4 so far this season.

(Speaking of 2-4 teams, did Charlie Strong save his job this weekend? Discuss.)

This doesn’t exactly count as a firing, and I take no joy in it, but: Steve Sarkisian is on an “indifinite leave of absence” from USC. It sounds like he has a serious problem: I hope he manages to pull himself out of it.

Your NFL loser update: week 4, 2015.

Tuesday, October 6th, 2015

It wasn’t a great weekend for the loser update. Chicago beat Oakland (you had one job, Raiders). New Orleans beat Dallas (we missed that game, but it sounds like it was a thriller). And the Detroit-Seattle game was much closer than we expected. But…

NFL teams that have a chance of going 0-16:

Detroit

In other news: DraftKings and FanDuel may be sleezy? Who’d thunk it?

Your NFL loser update: week 3, 2015.

Monday, September 28th, 2015

It wasn’t a bad weekend. Of course, I didn’t watch any of the games, as I was busy all day Sunday (about which, more later), but the teams I expected to engage in good old fashioned curb stompings did, indeed.

NFL teams that have a chance of going 0-16:

Baltimore
Detroit
Chicago
New Orleans

We’re starting to get down there. But at this point, I don’t think there’s a team that’s really bad enough to go 0-16.

Your NFL loser update: week 2, 2015.

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2015

NFL teams that have a chance of going 0-16:

Baltimore
Houston
Indianapolis
Philadelphia
New York Football Giants
Detroit
Chicago
New Orleans
Seattle

Your NFL loser update: week 1, 2015.

Monday, September 14th, 2015

NFL teams that have a chance of going 0-16:

Baltimore
Pittsburgh
Cleveland
Houston
Indianapolis
Jacksonville
Oakland
Philadelphia
New York Football Giants
Washington
Minnesota
Detroit
Chicago
New Orleans
Tampa Bay
Seattle

Lawrence asked me the other night who I thought might be the first coach fired. My gut response was: whoever’s coaching the Jets this year. (Todd Bowles. You’re welcome.) It is his first year, but when one of your linebackers breaks your starting quarterback’s jaw, and people say “Yeah, he was asking for it”, well that’s your dumpster fire right there.

If not Mr. Bowles (the Jets, after all, won) perhaps Gus Bradley in Jacksonville?

The holidays have snuck up on me…

Tuesday, July 14th, 2015

…and I didn’t really have a chance to prepare.

So happy Bastille Day, everyone. I don’t actually recommend storming a prison, but if you do, please observe all safety precautions. (And don’t launch fireworks off of your head, or other body parts.)

The All-Star game kind of snuck up on me, too. But honestly, this year, I don’t give a flying flip at a rolling doughnut. There’s really no spectacularly bad team to root against. Heck, both the Astros and the Cubs are over .500.

Your loser update: April 17, 2015.

Friday, April 17th, 2015

The end of the NBA regular season has snuck up on us.

Early in the season, it seemed like Philadelphia was the favorite to go 0-82, or at least set a record for futility.

How did that work out for them? Well, they finished 18-64. Which is bad.

But it isn’t as bad as the New York Knicks, who finished 17-65. Philadelphia didn’t even lose their own division. Which I think says something about the team, but I’m not sure what.

But, surprisingly, the Knicks weren’t the worst NBA team this year. That honor goes to the Minnesota Timberwolves, who finished the season at 16-66, for a winning percentage of 0.195. ESPN has a very nice list of the worst NBA teams, which currently includes the Timberwolves, and lets you do side-by-side comparisons with the legendary 72-73 Philadelphia team.

By the way, the Lakers finished 21-61. Just saying.