Archive for the ‘NFL’ Category

Your loser update: week 3, 2017.

Sunday, September 24th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
Cincinnati
Chargers
New York Football Giants
San Francisco

Apologies to friend of the blog Infidel de Manhatta. Honestly, I remember the predictions before the start of the season: people (well, ESPN) were saying the Jets had a good shot at going 0-16. Tossed that away, did they not?

But hey, Cleveland’s still on track. Not that I really want to see Cleveland lose, for family reasons, but I think I’ve mentioned my theory of compensatory suck before, right? The better the baseball team is, the worse the football team, and vice versa?

TMQ Watch: September 19, 2017.

Wednesday, September 20th, 2017

TMQ Watch has our tropes, too. One of those is referring to the team by their full legal name, “The New York Football Giants”.

What are some of our other tropes? The only other two we can think of are:

  1. “autonomous 1911 and heroin-vending robots”, which in turn is derived from TJIC (though the original was “autonomous Glock and heroin-vending robots”, but only heathens use Glocks.)
  2. Pointing out that Easterbrook is wrong, wrong, wrongity wrong about the 1972 Dolphins.

Are we forgetting any recurring tropes, all of you huddled wretched masses yearning to breathe free? Please let us know in comments.

After the jump, this week’s TMQ…

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Your loser update: week 2, 2017.

Tuesday, September 19th, 2017

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Jets
Cleveland
Cincinnati
Indianapolis
Chargers
New York Football Giants
Chicago
New Orleans
San Francisco

…until morale improves.

Friday, September 15th, 2017

Two games into the season, the Cincinnati Bengals (currently 0-2) have fired Ken Zampese, their offensive coordinator.

Smells like desperation, doesn’t it?

TMQ Watch: September 12, 2017.

Wednesday, September 13th, 2017

Ah, September. The air is turning crisp. Soon leaves will show colors; the holidays are in prospect; everyone looks better in sweaters.

And once again, we ask the musical question: everyone, Gregg?

After the jump, this week’s TMQ

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Your loser update: week 1, 2017.

Tuesday, September 12th, 2017

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Miami (*)
New England
Jets
Cleveland
Cincinnati
Tennessee
Houston
Indianapolis
Chargers
New York Football Giants
Washington
Chicago
Tampa Bay (*)
New Orleans
Seattle
Arizona
San Francisco

(* Miami and Tampa Bay were originally scheduled to play last Sunday. However, due to the hurricane, that game has been postponed until week 11 (November 19th). Which means that Miami and Tampa Bay are going to play 16 straight games without a break. But that’s okay…)

Obit watch: September 11, 2017.

Monday, September 11th, 2017

Don Ohlmeyer, legendary “Monday Night Football” producer, and later NBC executive.

In 1998, Mr. Ohlmeyer feuded with Norm Macdonald, the sardonic comedian and anchor of the “Weekend Update” news segment on NBC’s “Saturday Night Live.” Mr. Ohlmeyer called Mr. Macdonald increasingly unfunny and ordered Lorne Michaels, the executive producer of the series, to remove him from the segment immediately.

“The Last Tycoon”, Amazon’s series based on the unfinished novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Interestingly, a few days ago Amazon also cancelled “Z: The Beginning of Everything”, a series based on the life of Zelda Fitzgerald. “Z” had actually already been renewed and was apparently in pre-production for the second season when Amazon pulled the plug.

Is there just not a great demand for Scott Fitzgerald any longer? Or were these just not very good series?

TMQ Watch: September 5, 2017.

Tuesday, September 5th, 2017

With all the dinging going on in this week’s column, you’d think this was the Christmas season and TMQ was the non-stop 24 hours a day “Carol of the Bells” channel.

Let’s get into it. After the jump, this week’s TMQ

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TMQ Watch: August 29, 2017.

Wednesday, August 30th, 2017

Week two. Gesundheit.

Our count is roughly 9,400 words. Will TMQ join the 10,000 Club this season? We would not be surprised.

(And this is why we’re running behind: we do plan to try to get these up on Tuesday, but if the Weekly Standard is going to let Easterbrook run on as long as he wants, without apparent editing or restrictions, we can’t promise that.)

After the jump, this week’s column…

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Loser update.

Friday, August 25th, 2017

The loser update will return again this year. The Entertainment and Sports Programming Network is saying that the Jets are going to be exceptionally awful this year. We’ll see.

Speaking of ESPN, I thought some of my readers might enjoy this: the worst NFL teams of the past 30 years.

Obviously, the 2008 Detroit Lions were the worst of the worst, right? Well, not so fast: ESPN’s ranking is based on their “DVOA (Defense-adjusted Value Over Average) metric”. So the 2008 Lions aren’t the worst NFL team of the past 30 years: they’re not even the worst Lions team of the past 30 years.

Who was the worst? And are the Houston Texans represented? You’ll have to give ESPN a page view for the answer to the first question. For the second one, yes, indeed, the Texans do show up on both the worst teams and worst offenses list.

TMQ update.

Tuesday, August 15th, 2017

The big announcement just dropped.

Where is Gregg Easterbrook’s “Tuesday Morning Quarterback” this year?

Would you believe…the Weekly Standard?

Yeah, that seems a little odd to me, too. Wikipedia characterizes it (fairly, I think) as “an American conservative opinion magazine”, and “conservative” is not a word I would use to describe Easterbrook. But, you know, whatever gets you through the night.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Will TMQ go back to the pre-NYT days, with 2,000 word digressions on how unrealistic a television show is? Or will this be the leaner, tighter, more disciplined TMQ we saw on the website for the paper of record?

And will there be cheerleader photos?

The Weekly Standard isn’t on our list of publications and websites we don’t read. (Heck, Lawrence even subscribes to it. Or did at one time: I’m not sure if he still does.) So yes, there will be a TMQ Watch when Easterbrook’s column resumes next week. Watch this space.

Obits and firings: March 10, 2017.

Friday, March 10th, 2017

Sweet Angel Divine, aka “Mother Divine”, passed away a week ago Saturday.

She was about 91. (One of the tenets of her religious movement was a disregard for chronological age.)

Mrs. Divine was the widow of Father Divine:

A charismatic preacher since the early 1900s, Father Divine — or the Rev. Major Jealous Divine, to give him his full title — declared in 1932 that he was God and attracted legions of devotees drawn by his message of racial equality, clean living, communal living and cash-only financial transactions.

One of the best things in the St. Clair McKelway collection Reporting at Wit’s End is his profile (with A. J. Liebling) of Father Divine at, more or less, the height of his empire. “Who Is This King of Glory?” might be available online, too, but when I went to the New Yorker website, it looked like you needed a subscription to read it there. In any case, I commend the McKelway/Liebling profile to your attention.

Scot McCloughan out as general manager of the Redskins.

And the Brockster out as quarterback in Houston. Speculation (both in the sports media and from people I know in Cleveland) is that the Browns aren’t going to keep him, either.

The Texans cut their losses with Osweiler after one season. He signed a four-year $72 million contract, including $37 million guaranteed, last year. Even though the Texans won the AFC South and advanced to the divisional round, he played poorly.

Edited to add: Well. The Browns have cut Bobby ThreeSticks now. And nobody thinks His Brockness is going to be asked to hang around. So who’s quarterbacking come fall? The season is closer than you think…,